I started my day with a smile because the first mail in my inbox brightens up my day instantly with these beautiful thoughtful thoughts.
Can you imagine the power of emails?
So, I just want to share with you to brighten your day too…
Trust is the substance for all relationships. Relationships usually head towards the dead-end when trust is broken. Lack of trust doesn’t attract anything good except suspicion, which generates anger, which causes enmity, which eventually (most occasions) results in separation.
There was a story about a telephone operator who received a phone call one day. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” And there was silence. She repeated, “P.U.B.” There was still no answer from the other line. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is P.U.B. Sorry, I got the number from my husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”
Well, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with a simple ‘Hello’ instead of ‘P.U.B’. That is why mutual trust is so important in any relationship.
In a relationship, we look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of being criticised openly. Generally when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, our other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. So, if we forgive the others, others will forgive us too.
There was a man who asked his father-in-law, “Could you please share with me your secret in keeping a successful marriage?” The father-in-law answered with a smile, “Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could find a better husband than you.”
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband. This is because, the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. However, the simple rule is understanding, which keeps strifes away from relationships.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
Haven’t we often heard that relationship fails because ‘he’s too domineering’ or ‘she’s so bossy’ or ‘I can’t handle all the demands!’? People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. More often than not, this is not the case.
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that it is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character. It is not easy to change. Thus having high expectation on changing the spouse’s character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
There is a verse in the Bible that says ‘what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man’. Wrong speech hurts deeper than wrong doings. When a couple is too close to each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other person. Frequent exchanging of spiteful and tactless remarks plants the seed for a relationship-gone-wrong.
There was an illustration of a wife and her millionaire husband who visited their construction site. A worker saw her and shouted, “Hi, remember me? We used to date in school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you’ll be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered, “You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he’ll be the millionaire and not you.”
This is a true story which happened in the United States. A man came out of his house to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his 3-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed done, he rushed his son to the hospital.
The boy’s fingers were amputated from both his hands because the bones were badly crushed. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Dad, I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “But when are my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home and committed suicide.
This last story has put a dent in my heart: trucks can be repaired, broken bones and hurt feelings often can’t. Next time someone steps on your feet or wish to take revenge, remember this story. Think first before you lose your patience, especially with someone you love. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. Mistakes make us human. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Would you like to share any virtues that strengthen relationships?
Share your heart with us and let’s make love, and not war!
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