8 Gentle Ways To Break Up With A Guy

A girl friend asked me:

“According to your Yep, You’re Just Not That Into Him post, we should be honest with him…

But how do I break it off in a nice way?”

So, we know break up is really hard to do, but there are techniques to help you make things go as smoothly as possible.

 

Ladies, read on for the following advice on break up with a guy.

 

#1 Don’t leave opened doors

When breaking the news to a guy that it is over, be crystal clear that it is absolutely O-V-E-R.  It may seem nice to offer the possibility that one day in the future, you two will find your way back into each other’s arms, but this gives the poor fella false hope.  And with false hope come drunken calls at 3am, asking if you are ready to take him back yet.  So be kind and make it clear to them that they need to move on.

#2 Don’t let him be the last to know

Sure, talking through your feelings with a friend can be helpful when working up the courage to break up, but try to limit yourself to how many people heard the test-run of your dumping speech.  Eventually someone is going to blab… and when he finds out from someone other than you, he’ll feel more devastated and very much humiliated.

#3 Don’t use gadgets

Seriously, girls…  Get some woman courage and tell them in the face - answering machine, emails, text messages, post-its and faxes are not cool ways to break up.  This will only put you in his Worst Girlfriend Hall of Fame for life.

After all, you have ‘taken’ so much of his time and affection… you owe it to him to sit down, face to face and tell him it is over and that you are sorry.

#4 Don’t over react

If you are to break up because you are angry about something, express yourself.  But remember that you are not a victim.  You can come and go as you please, and you are.  If you are angry, chances are you are mad at yourself for not seeing who this person was earlier, or for not trusting your own instincts.

#5 Don’t fake excuses

Okay, you don’t have to tell him straight in the face that he is boring, weird, smelly or what-not… but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire.  If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth.

You don’t have to be brutally honest, though. You can try something like, “I just don’t feel a connection with you.”

#6 Don’t linger too long

Keep it short and sweet, quotes Stephany Alexander, relationship expert at womansavers.com.  No break up should last more than 30 minutes.  You don’t need to give him every reason that you want to end the relationship – just name one or two main problems and be done with it.  The faster you do it, the faster you’ll feel better.

#7 Don’t be part of the drama

A guy with wounded pride and hurt feelings can get verbally abusive, so try to calm the situation with silence.  Don’t engage with him, just listen, be quiet and don’t respond.  Don’t fuel the fire by defending yourself.  Let him get it all out, and then leave.

#8 Don’t hover the break up

Keeping in your feelings about what just happened may be overwhelming, and may cause you to want to call your ex for contact or comfort.  So, make plans to meet with friends to get over a break up.  Talk about it over lunch and a movie, and while you are at it, remove his number from your cell phone.

If you want to touch base to see how he is doing, give it a couple of months at least.  If he is still sweet on you, any contact (no matter how innocent), is going to be interpreted as a ray of hope that love will spring again.

Well, really, as classic as Neil Sedaka sings it… breaking up is hard to do…

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Guys, what would you appreciate from a girl when they are going to break up with you?  Or girls, do you have other nice ways to break up with a guy?

Share with us and let’s try to make break up process easier for everyone =)

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Comments

  1. i think breaking up is always a hard thing to do and no matter how nice we try to be,heart will still be broken..

    even if its a mutual break up..

    TipsGoda’s last blog post..Can a Couple Still Stay as Friends After Breaking Up? What Do You Think?

    • you’re right… we can be as nice in our approach in calling it off. but in truth, there’s no gentle break up. we merely try not to make things worst right? *wink*

      jamie’s last blog post..an excuse

      • Your right and i don’t know what too do because im only going into middle school and i don’t know if i feel like i like my boyfriend anymore i used to but i don’t really know if i do because we don’t see each other at all but school and when we do see each other we don’t talk that much and when we do talk its about stupid things like our teacher and my friend.

        • Im in the same position but i also am like in love with his best friend who is also my best friend and im in 7th grade but here is what im gonna do, in person im gonna say “hey ok things arent really working out for us so im sorry but im breaking up with you please dont b mad at me or anything cuz its better then to lie to you so ill see you around!” Idk if itll work, ill respond again if it does! Hope i helped, to everyone NEVER SAY “its not you, its me” THAT IS EXTREMELY CHEESY AND GUYS HATE IT!!!! I also siggest doing it at the end of the day so if he cries it wont b awkward for him in the next class and he will be able to let it all out

          • I’m sorry, not trying to be rude or anything, but why are there so many middle schoolers (and younger) getting into relationships? Why? Could someone explain? Are you guys really pressured to ‘find someone’ to make everyone else happy? I just don’t see any logic behind it.

          • Its really none of your business. Everybody has a right to date. My boyfriend moved to barbados for a few years before we met and he told me all about some 5th graders making out and having sex at parties that highschoolers and adults should be going to. Its a crazy world. I suggest not getting involved.

    • Yea that is true but what happens when u can not break up with him

      • It has nothing to do with not being able to break up with him, its just the fact that you feel attacked or afraid to do it. When you are talking to him right before breaking up with him, repeat in your head all the stupid things that he did that made you cry. Have no mercy, but still dump him nicely. You don’t want to have a reputation of being a cold hearted jerk. One of my friends has that reputation and people call her mean names. A lot of boys that used to like her are afraid to date her now only because they think they might get a hard rejection and lose dignity.

    • So ive been with my boyfriend for 2-3 months. I should b having the greatest time with him, yet I seem to b getting annoyed at everything he does. We dont really speak much, we have a slight language barrier so half the time it seems like hes just guessing at what I say or he’ll just say ‘yeah’ I know I really need to breaknit off with him before I started getting really angry with him, yet im finding it so hard to because he told me that im his first girlfriend and if its notngoing to work between us he wont ever meet another woman again. What would you suggest?

      • i have kind of the same situation, and i don’t know how to say nicely to him that i wanna break up with him, and the worst is that wo go to the same school and we are in the same class and he has a huge crush on me too, so i have no idea how to break up with him

  2. I would agree with second and third point based on my personal experience.

    As a guy, being the last person really breakdown your emotion. And the worst thing is her friend who told you about this…

    And although we are in digital world, it is not to right to break up via sms or even msn…or perhaps love confession over sms? Well, if you opt for that, there will be no human touch.. :)

    • that’s very true! I’d personally feel like a fool if everybody knows that I’m going to be dumped, except me! what a joke, man!

      although love sms can be sweet sometimes… break up sms just make that person seem like a coward… haha

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

      • yea..do it face to face not through sms or facebook

        TipsGoda’s last blog post..The Art of War for Dating and 101 Romantic Ideas

        • isn’t ridiculous how technology made human so ‘in-human’?? courting through MSN, break up through SMS, apologies through email… although technology bring great convenience, making romance so much convenience that we tend to lose the personal touch…

          jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

        • I’m 15 and this is my first relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. I don’t know how to break up with him. I’m really sensitive when it comes to hurting people. And he’s such a sweetheart. I think the relationship has gotten more serious than I intended it to get. I don’t know what I’m doing. He tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him too. And I do but I think I’ve lost interest. I’m scared of seeing his reaction. And I need major advice. I’ve never been in this situation before he’s my first boyfriend. My parents said that i could call him. But you guys say that texting and stuff is a bad idea. What do i do? Help!

          • Hey well since this is your first if you haven’t broken it off as yet but you want to, try not to prolong it. In all honesty just like you im sensitive against hurting people’s feelings but its more hurtful to be with someone if they’ve lost interest. Just ofcourse be honest with him, tell him you’ve grown distant and your not ready for a serious relationship, hopefully he’s understanding, he’s going to be a little heart broken but give him time and he’ll be right back on track. Hope that helps.

          • you don’t know how much this post helped! I am 15 and just went through exactly the same thing.. the I love yous and all. breaking up with him was the hardest thing I ever had to do :( I just broke up with him last week… he was an amazing guy and all my friends just loved him… BUT, I feel so free now!!! And I did it in person.

          • well you should let him know how you feel face to face, and if he really loves all he’ll want is to make you happy. you may get a reaction , but to make him feel right about the situation let him know that you DID love him but you think things are moving to fast and you want to break up . let him know that there will be other girls for him, and that your not his one but he will find her someday…also make sure it IS the thing you want to do.

        • hi can you help me I really like this guy but my mom said I can’t date and I’m not a good liar soo what do I do

  3. i’m a failure in breaking up.. thanks to my special ability cause i have a wonderful guy who loves me more than i could ever imagine =) or else i will be losing in having such a rare species guy lol hahahaha

    ugly betty’s last blog post..~ EARTH HOUR 60 ~

    • how fortunate you are! keep it up! *wink*

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

    • Delia ruiz says:

      I’m in that problem right know 2

      • im just trying to grasp as to why it is so hard to do when it is certain that it needs to be done…i dont like the whole idea of hurting someone…but this is the weird part ….i love him to death …but im not in love with him…therefore my interest in hims gone…

        • and im always the person to be miserable to make someone else happy…and i dont deal well with people who cry…and he’s a cryer…….ugh…

          • I want to break up with my boyfriend and he’s just like that and that’s exactly how I am I’ve been miserable to make him happy and I need time but I don’t want to hurt him. We are on a break…I think its a pre-break up cause I feel like we’ve been drifting apart and i’m just not happy…but I have no idea how to break up with him without the tears.

          • I’m in the exact same situation!

          • My relationship is the exact same way! but the only thing is that I just can’t find it in my heart to hurt him. He has bad family problems and we’ve been dating for 3 years… I feel guilty because he tells me I’m the only thing that makes him happy and that he loves me and all that, but he’s kind of obsessive. I’m kind of scared that he will be abusive and dangerous to either me or himself in the future. The last thing i want to do is hurt him because he doesn’t do anything wrong, He’s a great boyfriend and all, but Idk.

            I know this isn’t right, but I’ve tried to make him break up with me, like nagged him and be distant and be a really bad girlfriend, and then i tried to cling to him like a lost puppy, but neither of those worked. It just makes me feel worse about breaking up with him. He still thinks I’m flawless and I don’t know what to do…?

        • Amen. I’m in the same situation. I love him dearly but I’m not in love with him. He loves me. He told me he was falling in love with me. & although I told him I was almost falling for him the time never came. I don’t want to string him along any longer. We were best friends then started going out. But I miss us as best friends.

          • I have a boyfriend and we used to be best friends. I get what you mean when you say that you miss being best friends. Ever since we’ve started going out, he’s become clingy and obsessive. Sometimes I just want to hang out with my friends alone without him there! I was really annoyed with him the other day so I started swearing in spanish at him but he still didnt get that I was annoyed. He thought it was CUTE! I’m actually repulsed by him now because his friends have made him perverted and wierd. I really just want to dump him and never see him again but he’s still innocent, he hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s like milk that’s gone sour! I don’t want to be friends with him, I just want to dump him gently while still telling him why but I don’t want to go back to friends because there is no way I can do that without thinking of him as repulsive. HELP ME PLEASE!!!

          • Same, Anne. I think you just have to get it over with because the more you stay with him, the more he will annoy you and the more you will not like him. Just let him down gently because it will be really hard for him to realize the fact that you don’t like him anymore, even though he obviously likes you a lot.

  4. break up is never easy and sometimes its hard to let go.

  5. Ha! try being stuck in a relationship for wayy too ling bc your afraid he’s gonna cry again.. i tried to close the doors when i left him the first time but i would find him at my doorstep this happened for a month straight he would call every night and leave voicemails saying oh i love you so much why cant we just talk we can get through this i swear. well ya know.. if he wasnt so damn clingy we wouldnt have this problem.. but as much as i am ranting right now i do love the kid to pieces.. i just wish i knew how to drop him without hurting him.. its like finding a way to drop an egg on concrete without breaking it open.. thats how i would define a breakup. i;ve tried face to face but he wouldnt give it up and followed me to my house and it went on for hours until i told him off and he still wouldnt leave.. i tried text messages too but that was unsuccessful since he showed up at my house 30 seconds later freain out.. i need help here guys.. hes controlling possessive and he’s holding me back from my dreams.. i want to go to college in florida bc it has one of the u.s. top rated teaching schools [i want to be a teacher] but he told me no.. i told him to buzz off [in nice language] help me!!

    • you need to do what you think is best, and if I were in your shoes I would tell him something like, sweetie, i love you to pieces, you have been an awesome boyfriend, but I need to move on. You will find someone else who loves you as much as you love her, and you will love her more then you love me. I know its hard to except but its time to move on. Staying together is not fair to you, and its not fair to me. I appreciate that you love me, but you know the phrase if you love it you need to let it go, well if you really love me then you want what I want for me and you need to let me go. Our relationship will always hold a special place in my heart, and be a wonderful memory, but it is time to move on, for both of us. Take Care of Yourself, and best of luck to you.

      • Wow, Anne… you put the exact feelings I’m having into words. <3

      • yeah it sounds great but after all those days of basically stalking her you think those sentences are going to magically work? He’ll suddenly say, ‘Oh, I see. thank you. goodbye.”

  6. i need help!! i dont feel love to my boyfriend anymore.. he’s really nice to me and he loves me so much but i should break up with him!… what’s the most nice way to do it??

    • definitely face to face. That’s the only thing I can say because you will never make a breakup nice. you can sugar coat it and make it sound the nicest you can, but when it all boils down, You two are still breaking up. No matter how sweet it sounds.
      You also need to think about yourself. I know it will be hard….. Very hard….. to break up with him because he is sad and eventually you will miss at least one thing about him, but you need to remember the reason you are not staying with him,whatever it may be. Don’t stay with him if you don’t like him, because that makes everything worse.
      Also, don’t be guilt-trapped into going out with him again… I finally got the guts to break up with my boyfriend, then I got back together wit him; Partly because of something one of my best friends told me that he had told her. Point is, if you don’t like him the first time, chances are whatever makes you not like him will be there the second time, and if he fixes it good for you and you can do whatever your little heart desires.

  7. So, me and my boy friend have been going out for about a month and a half . At first I really liked him but now I don’t feel that same connection bc he has moved an hour away and I used to see him every weekday . This would be ease ire if he didn’t have a sister that was a really good friend to me and so if I would go over to there house to hang out it would be really akward . Dont you think?

    I really need some help!!

  8. I have a problem because I am dating the nicest guy ever but I am not into him any more. There is another guy in his class that is really cute his name is Anthony. But I think It is weird that I am breaking up with my boyfriend and want to get together with his friend.

    P.S. Anthony is in the same class as the boy I want to break up with I need a lot of tips and so much more.

  9. Me and this guy meet through a friend on FB and we connected pretty fast. He was sweet and charming.. My kinda guy. But then he putup pictures of himself, and he is SO NOT MY TYPE. I NEED to break up with him. I just dont know how to be nice about it. What do I doo?

    • Esmeray's mom says:

      Wow, that’s a bit shallow.

    • That IS shallow. You say he’s not your type because of how he looks!? Okay. You guys met on facebook so just either say you just want to be friends or unfriend him or create a new account and don’t tell him about it. Better yet, send a message to all your friends on fb apart from him that you are going to say you are dead then make a new account. Yeah, i’m joking. That would be a horrible thing to do. He’d be really upset or suspect it’s a joke and ask one of your friends.

    • I think its even more shallow that you guys think that she should NOT break up with him even though she’s not attracted to him. What’s wrong with U people. If you meet someone (even after you’ve been speaking with them) and you’re like, “Oooohhhp–nope, not attracted…” then you should totally break it off as opposed to fooling them and yourself and just stringing along. You guys should be ashamed of yourselves for trying to guilt her. I say, break up. No one who expects to stay happy gets into a relationship with or marries someone they know they are not attracted to, that’s just stupid. Unfortunately, I have no advice as to how. You’ll have to google that one.

      • i totally agree! its not shallow at all. how are you going to date someone your not attracted to? I tryed it, he had an awesome personality, was funny, but he wasnt my type physically. But i figured ill give it a shot. guess wut happened… after the initial “im so happy wut a great guy” phase i realized i wasnt attracted to him, the romance died, and our sex life became non-existent. so what is a man that is nice, funny, smart, but unattractive in your eyes… he’s an awesome friend. good luck :)

  10. I have a dilemma. My bf and I have been thru a lot but he has always been the one with the strongest feelings for the other. We’ve only been dating since January but still. It has become a long distance relationship now and I can’t continue pretending I love him. Because it is long distance, it is impossible for me to do this in person. He is devoted and dedicated to me and it is almost bordering on obsessive. I have never been good at breakups but this one is particularly difficult. I fear for his mental state. He is young and I know that he can survive this but he is so into me that I worry what his reaction would be. Any advice would be awesome. Him and I usually talk through email.

  11. ITS OKAY to break up sms if HE do not really make way for you to see.. right?? ;)

    laura – tell him the truth that you do not love him any more.
    because its more vulnerable if you do not tell him… earlier the better :)

  12. I’m thinking about breaking up with my high school BF (we have been dating for just over 2 years). I truly love him and i think i always will because he was my first love, but im not the same little girl i was at the end of freshman year when we started dating. he was my rock during a rough point in my life (when my parents got divorced) and he was everything i wanted, needed and more, but i need something different now. not better or more, just different. i dont know if i really should do it or not because i know how much it would hurt him and i cant stand that thought because he has been used and abused by so many other girls. Help?

    • i have been with my current boyfriend for almost a year, right after freshman year. i am about to enter junior year now, and we are just one month shy of our 1 year. the beginning was amazing. he helped me heal from my previous relationship and he was genuine and soo nice to me, and the best part was he understood my crazy family dysfunction that no other guy understood. but over time, notably after valentine’s day, i noticed traits about him that i didn’t know if i wanted in a romantic relationship. i still love him with all of my heart and i always will, but as time moves forward, my feelings for my boyfriend are slowly becoming more and more friendship based. we always said that we were best friends and lovers, but now for me, i think of him of just my best friend. he is perfect as my best friend, and he is good as my lover, but i want something new, something different. he’s not terrible, i just feel like it’s time for me to be single and free and keep him in my life as my best friend.
      but i dont want to hurt him. i am so confused on what to do. any advice???

      • Ash . . . . If he is your best friend then stay with him. If you break up with him I can guarantee he will not stay your best friend. It will be too painful and it will get weird as soon as you or him show interest in someone else. Also, when you hangout with an ex there is no going back to the beginning of the friendship when you just had fun and enjoyed hanging out together. Saying I love you, having sex and being emotionally intimate with someone changes the relationship so much so that there is no reverting back to how things used to be. Also, feeling the need for something new is common when you’ve been with someone for awhile. However, as I am sure you’ve heard, relationships take work. That being said you need to try to make things more exciting with him. Just the act of making a conscience effort to try new things, respond to situation differently, and to e more open and honest can work wonders on a relationship. Another thing to think on might be, personal space needs and possible dependency issues. Take more time to yourself or with your friends even if it makes him uncomfortable at first, later he’ll learn to appreciate your independence. Anyway, hope I helped.

        • Hey, I was wondering if you could give me some advice? XD my boyfriend and I have been together for five and a half months. I adore this boy and he is my best friend. But I don’t think I’m inlove with him anymore. I love him as I love my friends, but I’m also incredibly attracted to him. I can tell him everything and when we get intimate I love it. But I also feel bad afterwards. About a week after our four month mark he broke up with me due to familial problems and we quickly got back together after three days. The past four weeks though I haven’t really felt the same love for him. Its different now. I’m hurting terribly and I don’t know why. I felt a little depressed leading up to the brekup and the breakup made me more so. And I’m wondering if this has all contribuied to how bad I’m feeling? I love him so much but I’m terribly unhappy and I can’t even tell him I love him anymore without feling bad. He’s my best friend and my first love and I want us to work…

          • Don’t let him keep you under his thumb! Woman up and end it. Don’t worry about him, take care of your own feelings, but do be polite when you end things.

  13. when we first started dating i was way into him and its been 2 months and i just dont feel the same way i did at first but he is so nice and sweet to me and i feel he is to good for me and derves better than me what should i do? how do i brake up with him without hurting him? or should i wait a little longer and see if i start getting the spark back? what should i do??

    • Same thing is going in with me and my bf jack. Every one hates him and now I am starting to see why. He is one year older than me but way to immature at times. I wish he would just act his own age sometimes. Some one help us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Anonymous says:

        I am in the same position with my bf all my friends hate him and complain that he is always hurting them or hitting them or insulting them or something and I want to break up with him but he hides his feelings and I’m worried that hiding his feelings after the breakup will be to much for him and he will be really hurt and I don’t want to do that. Anybody got any ideas? Because this is my first break and I really like the guy. And besides one of the main reasons is that phrase “if you love someone let them go and if it was meant to be they will come back to you”. Anybody got any ideas? I would appreciate them all

    • sari saphira castro says:

      i have a problem like yours &what id do is tell him exactly how u feel & suggest eing friends then see where it goes :)

  14. Well i hav a bf nd i want to brske up with him hes sweet cute and nice but i dont feel the same as i use to and the problem is he is my little (pregnate) sister’s ex i want to brake up with him but dont know how to.
    Please help!

  15. Brake *

  16. To all you ladies having a rough time.. Im in the same spot.. and I know waiting it out makes it worse for you.. he may be good but obviously hes not the one for us … its sad to devote yourself to someone for so long and then it gets to a point where it just isnt working .. what can I say theres more fish in the sea.. I think the hardest part is knowing your going to be alone after .. I probably sound like a hipocrite because I as many have not been able to break up with my boyfriend and have been dragging it out. One word to describe that “Guilt” , unless hes a real jerk then get it over with. But at the end of the day you need to do whats best for you. <3 He will find someone and maybe look back and smile because you gave him a life experience that led him to happiness. Good Luck to everyone who is having a difficult time.

    • Wow this post brought a tear to my eye.. You really hit the nail on the head when you said the hardest part is knowing that you are going to be alone after. That is my biggest fear right now. Seems it took me so long to find a guy who actually commited to us, and is soooo good to me, TOO good to me. He puts me on this pedestal that I just cant live up to. I guess the problem is, that he is younger than me, and Im too old to settle at this point in my life. He is sweet and loving, but offers no security. He has no goals, no ambition. Not to mention he is quite a downer, constantly complaining about everything, and very anti social! He is co-dependent and clingy. I just don`t see us having a future, where I will ever be completely happy with him. As much as Im trying to understand what people mean when they say they love someone, but are not IN love with them. I fear I may be in this situation. There are deep underlying factors, that keep rearing their ugly head in our relationship. Things about him, things that REALLY get under my skin. Sometimes I feel they are petty issues that I need to accept, yet when I burry them with that excuse, they just fester and become more intollerable when they arise again. I know Im gonna end up ripping his heart out of his chest when I leave him. His friends will say I told you so, his mom will say good riddens. I just dont know how much longer I can go on, keeping him happy, but being semi-miserable myself. Would just litteraly disapearing, say moving out and to another town with only a written good bye letter left for him, be so wrong? I know him to know well enough that a face to face break up will be armageddon. He is gonna cry, beg, plea, want to know why, and how he can be better…..and so on, and so on. Plus we live together, and I can see him, quitting his job just so he can be home while I’m trying to move out my stuff, so he can pester me some more!

      • Aynjelia:
        I’m just in the exact same position…we’ve been living together for 5 years. He’s an angel for me, takes care of me, we are just the best friends ever…but that’s it. for him i’m the one but that’s not working for me. I thought that with time thing would just “work out” but it doesn’t.
        As whit your guy, i have to push him to do everything, no goals, no ambition and he’s 44 (i’m 34 BTW). He’s unemployed for about 4 month now, he does help with the house keeping but i feel i need someone who doesn’t need me to do something.
        I’m so tired of fighting for him to be something more in his life i feel like i’m carrying him in my shoulders now but when we speak and see his eyes with tears i can’t stand it…
        Right now he’s sleeping and i’ve been thinking this whole break-up thing for weeks and i just can’t find the guts to do it…it’s just so painfull.
        I know i have to do it eventually, but it is so hard to…

  17. thankyou to all these comments, im having the same problem as many by loving the guy for just over two years but not being the same person anymore. he seems way more into the relationship than me and he is honestly a really nice guy.. but its really helped me to see i am not alone in this. i’m pretty sure i’m gonna leave the guy tomorrow if i can pluck up the guts to do it. he’s left me by text the time before, so i’m gonna do it to his face and show him that he need to get some balls. he makes me feel guilty over everything BUT REMEMBER ITS NOT YOUR FAULT HOW THEY REACT.
    thankyou loads though, this has really honestly helped me. good luck and God bless to you all xx

  18. I don’t really know what to do I have lost feelings for my current boyfriend and I don’t want to hurt him but don’t want to lose him as a friend what do I do

  19. i honestly dont know how im feeling.something is missing and i dont know wht it is,i love him lots but i feel alone in this and the long distance isnt helping either.i wanna leave him cos i have so much to offer and i constantly have to hold myself back because i’m scared he’s goin hurt me.

  20. I’ve been dating the same guy for the last two years…he’s going into the army, and he told me when he get’s back that we are going to get married, but here’s the problem… I’ve completly and utterly lost my feelings for him…I’ve told him that I just need to find the spark and all kinds of things, but it seems that no matter what we do together it just doesn’t come back…. I’ve been dealing with this for about 6 months now… I’m his first girlfriend, I don’t really know how to break it off… If you have any idea’s please, let me know… I’ll really apprecieat it…

    • You need to tell him the truth as soon as you can! Try and do it gently. Tell him that the feelings gone and that he will meet his wife someday but it’s not you. Tell him that you’re sorry and that he’s a brave man and you know he can handle it. But make sure it’s clear that it’s over.

  21. I’m in the same situation…. I’ve been dating this guy for a while but now….. I lost my feelings for him over two weeks ago. I’ve already ended it once but I hurt him so much and he used my weakness against me (I feel extremely guilty if I hurt someone and want to make it up to they no matter what) and tricked me in to dating him again. I want to hurt him as little as possible since he’s such a sweet heart to me and so I don’t get tricked in to saying “yes” again.
    Help???

  22. what if you dont have a reason to break up with him but there something in you that does not want to be with him. i have been researching this all day because i love him and care about him. i love him… i am just not in love with him. he is great guy. been together a couple months and we never have disagreed about anything but something inside is not happy. dont know if its my heart or my head. it is playing tug o war and one day i am content with everything and others i cant stand myself. its really not him … its me. i dont know what i am going to say or do. He used to make me weak t the knees…. the whole nine yards but then it gets to boring , the same thing all the time. i dont even see him that much. HELP if you can. please and thanks

    • letting him go is very painful,but do what’s best for you still.

    • Random Reader says:

      I’m in the same exact spot! My boyfriend has given me no reason to dump him, yet I just feel like I should. Some days, I love our relationship and others, I just want to avoid it… I’m trying to figure out what to do and after reading through some similar issues, I’ve decided that the best thing to do is just tell him I want to end things. I am hoping to hurt him as little as possible and might succeed, seeing as how we’ve only been dating for a short time, but either way, I know this is going to be hard. I think the best thing to do is just explain to him exactly how you feel and then let him do with the information what he wants, and then let him know(if you want to be friends with him) that you still want to be friends. I hope this helps out a little bit! The best of luck to you!

  23. ALL relationships ending hurt, because It f**ks with your Identity.

  24. Onehandranda says:

    I want to break up with someone…….next hour. He’s my best friend but I just don’t feel romantically connected with him. How do I do it? :( I’m scared of losing our friendship more than the relationship………..is that bad?

    • Anonymous says:

      Just do it real quick… from personal experience, the more you drag it, teh lesser are your chances of remaining freinds after the break up.

    • Random Reader says:

      I kinda feel the same way @Anonymous, but I just don’t know if it would be better to hold on and wait to see if that romantic spark comes…

  25. YUZUKI- please don’t break up with him while he’s on leave. That can damage his mind, leave him distracted on the job,..etc..

  26. Yeah I don’t know what to do can some of ya’ll help me please! Okay so im dating this guy named Mason and we used to be like really good friends and now were boyfriend and girlfriend. But now I dont really like him as much. It’s just awkward now and he doesnt barely talk to me or even text or call me. So then I find out this guy named Samuel really really likes me and he goes to my school and stuff. And now I like Samuel more than my boyfriend. I dont want to hurt Masons feelings how should I break up with him help!

  27. i need help too , iv’e been dating this guy since november last year. hes really nice and stuff , but i just dont like him any more. before i went out with him my friend told me she liked him , but she was leaving schools so everyone was telling me that I should go out with him because she was leaving. me and my friend talked it out and she said she was cool with it and she didnt care cause she was leaving schools in a couple of weeks anyway.
    so now that i want to brek up with him i feel guilty because hes too nice and i dont want to hurt him and also because my friend could be in a relationship with him right now instead of me :/
    so be honest with me , should i wait and see if i start to like him again (because i feel like i still do) or should i just go ahead and dump him.

    and no , dumping him by text and stuff was never an option , i know how much it hurts.

    • bella, there is nothing to guilty about.. sometime relationship is about the sparks…

      it is good that you talk things out with your friend…
      well just go with flow and you will never know he could be your other half in the future..

  28. the main reason is because i THINK i like someone else , but im just really confused at the moment.

    and please note that im only 15 so just simple tips please , thanks x

  29. I have a boyfriend who is probably the sweetest guy I know, yet I can’t get over my third grade crush. I am 13 years old now, and my crush is 14, but will be 15 in August. I run Cross Country with him and have always felt this connection… anyways, I like him a lot. I can’t get over him. And I know if I like someone else, I should break up with my bf because I guess now I’m just leading him on. But he likes me sooooooooooo much. I’m not even kidding. He asked me to a formal dance as friends – I said yes. He asked me out in the first slow dance song. I had to say yes, because the rest of the dance would’ve been really awkward if I hadn’t. Plus, I liked him at the time. But now I feel like I shouldn’t have said yes. I have two jealous friends, too, so that just puts drama into the mixture. I don’t know what to do! Should I break up with him, or stay with him until I’m sure about my feelings? I am new to this whole relationship thing, and no one has ever liked me this much. HELP ME!!! :'(

    • My take is stay with him, get to know him better as time tickles.. and you decide later on..

    • Laura I was in the same situation you are in when i was your age, and let me tell you, its one of my biggest regret that I left my boyfriend for that longtime crush. It turned out my crush didn’t feel the same way about me, which made things awkward and i lost him as a friend. As well as hurting my boyfriend-who looking back now I wish i stayed with. So my advice to you would be stick with your boyfriend, if your feelings fade-then only leave him, and don’t make a move on your crush unless he does makes one first. I hope this helps, and goodluck!
      xxx

  30. hey guys. i been with my fella for over 3yrs. we’ve been to hell and back tried leaving a number of times but he keeps hintin that hes gonna do somethin stupid. i thought itd be easier breakin up but not being in the same place as him but get worrying msgs so end up runnin to him to make sure he’s fine and he knows i will do this every time. i dont feel love in the way i should for him i feel more like his carer or somethin and that he only wants me with him so he has company. i feel i want to end it as i dont miss him and could probably go a while not seeing him but find it so difficult to just leave. pls help

    • emma, you got to have a clear stand..

      if you decided to break up, go ahead and talk to him nicely…
      dun let what is going to do (e.g something stupid) affects your decision..

  31. Madeline says:

    Oh wow, it seems almost everyone is having the same problem as me. Basically, I’ve lost almost all feelings for my current boyfriend, and I’ve fallen for someone else. I still wanna be friends with my current boyfriend, but I feel that things would be too awkward. And one of my close friends is neighbors with him, so that would make it even more awkward. I need help!

    • madeline,

      feeling does fade in relationship over time… calling it off and remain in good terms as friend is recommended..
      you would not want to treat your ex as enemy…

  32. how do u break up with someone who lives in a diffrent county? with out hurting his feelings ?

    • ksa,

      are you in some sort of long distance relationship?

      I have friends who is in long distance relationship and some tried to break up over phone and some over Skype.
      However, it is probably the best to face your partner face to face… doing it over phone/net is not recommended..

  33. Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I ave been dating for almost 7 months now and about a month ago i lost my romantic feelings towards him. I really care about him as a friend and I really don’t want to hurt him but i cant get those romantic feelings back. I almost broke up with him last night but then he stated talking about how depressed he has been lately, and how I am one the only people he cares for, so i didn’t. I don’t know what i should do, I want to stay friends with him but im scared that is being to selfish. please someone help!!

  34. Wow! I’ve read all of these posts and comments and I feel the same as the mojority of you! My boyfriend and I were best friends (with some major flirting) for three years and he asked me out twice only to be denied…..both times. Finally, I decided to give it a shot and said yes the third time. He’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and he treats me like a queen, but, for some reason, I’m not happy. I just can’t figure out why! When we’re at school he’s always hugging and kissing me, and quite frankly, it pisses me off. Maybe I’m just weird, but I don’t like to be touched at school by him in that way where everyone can see. But when we’re alone I love to hug and kiss him. I just don’t get it? I want to break up with him, but I don’t exactly have a solid reason. It’s not his fault in any way. It’s mine, but he wouldn’t understand my feelings I don’t think. His english isn’t perfect so I wouldn’t even try doing it through some social media network/SMS thing, so it would have to be face to face. But, the thing is, he’s really sensative and he would probably cry if I broke up with him. I’m his “dream girl” and he “loves me to death” and he would “do anything for me.” To be honest, I hate being in relationships and I’ve confirmed this with the help of this relationship. Lol. I guess I’m just going to get all my feelings out right now; even if nobody comments and/or reads this. It might help. My name is Rachel and I’m 16 years old. I have a bright future ahead of me and having a boyfriend is only a distraction that I don’t need or want! But he’s too sweet to break up with and we’re too close but I’m just not that happy anymore… it’s been like three months and he loves me so much. This break up thing would be a tremendously easier task if we didn’t have to spend the summer together in a Summer Academic Program. Ugh….I just don’t know what to do. My friends are so excited to see us finally together, but I’m just not as excited as I used to be… Something must be done, but, what will that something be??

    • Rachel, you seem like you’re in a tough situation. Tell the guy how you feel about him being so clingy! I am sure he also has not only loved you for a couple months now also, probably for three years now!! Lots of girls have jerks for boyfriends… and you are so very fortunate! Talk to him about everything, and see where it goes from there… if the clingy continues, well we ALL know how annoying clingy is, so just talk to him about it, I’m sure it will turn out nicely:)

  35. I’m having some serious problems…. My guy and I have been together for 2 years now we live together,share a cell phone plan,is the co-signer for the loan on my car and have been through his dad and cousin dying, me cheating on him once before and tons of other drama. I have started talking to another guy who seems incredible and am crushing so hard on him that I almost can’t stand my bf anymore. I keep saying the next time he screws up big time I’m done but now all of the sudden he’s being the guy I’ve canteen him to be for the past 2 years leaving me even more confused! I know I have a place to go if I move out I have my best friend to allow me to join her cell phone plan and her and her husband have a 3rd vehicle I can use if its needed… I’m not sure if its the breaking up or the moving out that is confusing me more either way its all going to be so hard… I don’t want to give him some stupid line which is why I wanna wait til he screws up again… Idk what the heck to do!! Please help me!!

  36. Hey, I’m with a really nice boyfriend and I have a son with him who is nearly 1 and I’m falling for my ex who is a lot more inline with me how do I leave my current boyfriend for my ex I really have no clue I’m scared I also live in the same house as him and his mum and 10 others so I’m kinda worried it’ll leave my son and me without a place to live

    • Francoise says:

      Hollie, you have a son with this man, you need to concentrate on what is best for your son and put your feelings aside.
      Remember your ex is your ex for a reason, maybe try concentrating on the reasons you broke up with him. Otherwise you need to support yourself, get your own place and then you can start working on a new relationship. Your son comes first!

  37. Okay, after reading all comments. I still dont know what to do! we dated for almost two months and he brok up with me on text then we got back together 2 weeks after and now im losing feeling for him well for 1) his tooo clingy 2) acts shy around eveybodie but me and 3) i feel like his more into the relationship than i am. and im just not feeling it anymore i mean i did when we first went out. i also dont wanna do it on text i wanna do it face to face. but then i still dont get to see him till monday. theres like so many things in my mind right now. should i or should i not. i mean his really nice an everything but too nice and too shy, for the two months we dated we never make out or anyhting it was just a peck on a cheek! ughhh. WHAT SHOULD I DOO!?

  38. I’m with a lovely guy and i’ve been with him for over a year now. However he’s really making me feel insecure now. Everytime we fight, he says things which make me feel as if he is still viewing this relationship through the spectacles of his past relationship (in which he was completely obsessed with his ex, but she cheated on him and so they broke up). I feel as if he’ll never get over his ex and whenever i do ask, he replies that he is over her, but I feel the constant comparisons during a fight mean that those scars are still raw. I really don’t want to be the relationship where i will never be good enough or good as his ex (even though he tells me i’m the best gf ever). he once said that if we broke up it would never hurt as much as the previous relationship which made me feel like a door mat since i thought he’d never love me as much as he loved her and that i will always be second to her in his life. This is really making me feel miserable now. i want to break up but i don’t know if i’m over reacting.
    Am i just being overly sensitive?

  39. Corinne, it sounds like you’re describing my situation. We’ve been together almost 2 yrs. He moved 3 hours away from his hometown to be with me. I feel like im no longer in love with him. We live together, he’s on my cell phone plan, and we both have kids from our past relationship that our involved. I care about his kids but I don’t feel like he has ever cared for mine. I miss my family being together and my ex husband is wanting me back too, so that makes it even more complicated. I could move in with my mom but I don’t know how to break it off. He broke up with me last summer and I thought I was gonna go crazy till I got him back. Now I want out but don’t know how to end it. Someone pls help!

    • Tell him that you don’t feel he cares for your kids and you don’t feel its working anymore. move back with your mum and think it over about your ex husband. do you still love him? get together with your ex husband and talk it over, maybe you could try living together again for a month and see how it goes. if it doesn’t work, go back to your mums with your kids.

  40. You could always just build up a crazy ex boyfriend (or a real one if you have one) and then get ‘your crazy ex boyfriend’ to scare him away lol

    that way he feels like hes leaving you for his own safety :)

  41. I started dating some guy a couple weeks ago and he is really sweet but he is kind of clingy and he doesn’t really talk to me when he sees me. He also was used by another girl and they broke up over 2 or 3 months ago and he doesn’t seem to be over that. I have no clue what to do because I don’t like him that much anymore but he seems to like me still. Any advice on how to break up with him?

  42. I’m dating this really nice guy named Lüc and it took me FOREVER to finally hook up with him. But I regret it because he never supports anything I do and doesn’t want me to follow my dreams at all! He is also unfaithful to me. I’ve given him countless 2nd chances and I’m just so sick of it!! I want to break the news that im dumping him nicely but I’m scared of what he might do. He has some hmm… Let’s say anger issues and he’s been abusive to some of his other exs that broke up with him. WHAT SHOULD I DOOOO?!?! :(

  43. So, I have been dating this guy for about a month. Like a bunch of you guys, I liked him a lot at first, but now, I just don’t really even like him at all. Sure, he’s nice, supportive, and sweet, but soooo many things about him just flat-out irk me. I think he deserves someone who actually loves him back… I’m gonna break the news to him on Friday that I’m ending our relationship, but I need help in terms of method and what to say… Any advice?! Thanks for your consideration! :) Jesus loves you! <3

    • Anonymous says:

      hi becky… did you do it? if yes, how? cuz im in the same situation but havnt been able to do it foreverrrrr!!!

  44. Annie green says:

    I dont know what to do I care and love him but it’s like the love faded weve almost been dating a year and at first it was great I was head over heels in love and now it’s faded. The whole relationship has been a long distance one too. It’s just so difficult to think about I don’t knownwhat to say to him at all I’m his first girlfriend and he’s crazy about me but I’m just not feeling it anymore I wanna date around you know. Find someone more like me personality wise. It’s just I’m so confused on my feelings. When I talk to him over skype I’m so happy and giddy that get to see him and talk to him but when Im not that’s when my mind starts going on thinking away. Wandering isn’t there more in life than this one guy that I’m not sure about anymore should I date around until I find the one? I thought my bf was the one at first then it all faded.. Help!! I really need help I dont know what to do completely I’m so lost!!!!

  45. Hi I have a boyfriend that just told me he loved me and kind of said in an indirect way that he wants to marry me and live the rest of his life with me. while it’s all sweet and stuff. I just don’t like him anymore and I don’t want to drag this on. He is my first boyfriend and I really don’t want to hurt him by breaking up with him right after he said he loves me. But I can’t go on anymore. It would not be fair to both of us if I just keep continuing the relationship. How do I break up with him in a nice way? What do I do? Help!

    • IF YOU THING HE IS THE RIGHT 4 U AMONG BILLIONS THEN STICK WITH HIM, OTHERWISE WHEN HE GOES WITH SOME ONE IT WILL HURT YOU FOR YOUR LIFE TIME

  46. I really liked this advice you saved me from soooo much trouble.

  47. My boyfriend and I started dating 5 weeks ago. I was sucker enough, that he asked over the phone and I said yes. It started really well, but now he’s controlling and insulting. He decided he “Loves me” Less than two weeks in. He asked to speak to my male best fried, who acts like a big brother. Since my boyfriend never actually asked me on a date or helped me figure out when or where, my friend told him he needed to actually have a date. We haven’t met in person yet. I kinda want to break up.

  48. She broke up with me…its been 5 weeks…I thought she was my soul mate. Now she ignores me. It is very painful. I really loved her. I feel like someone died. I have so much I want to say, but she will not let me because she is doing no contact. I sent emails, texts, letters, gifts, and I get nothing in response. I know she had feelings for me before. She is denying me a chance to have any dialogue to fix things. I still miss her and love her….and don’t want to let her go.

    • You need to let her go. You say she is denying you the chance to have any dialogue to fix things. Obviously because there is nothing in her mind, left to fix. You should be thankful she is not stringing you along! Go out and meet someone else, It will help you get over her. Also the more you pester her, the more she is going to resent you. If you give her time to heal from the relationship, then pop back in a year down the road. Your chances of getting a reply from her are much better!

  49. what ever is not meant to be”is not meant to be.

    if it’s meant to be,then it will definitely be.change is a very hard process,because it’s painful.when you allow yourself to go through the painful process of change, you’ll com out victoriously no matter what it is!

  50. By the time I get any response to this comment, I will probably have already broken up with my boyfriend. Still, I want to let out steam somewhere anonymously.

    I have very little experience in dating. For a while, last year, I felt very lonely and wanting a relationship badly, and was very vocal about it to my friends. Months later, that desire was mostly gone, I was fine with being single; but I figured if anyone asked me out, I MUST say yes, just to get more dating experience and have more of a social life. It’s no surprise that my friend introduced me to “Bob,” a few weeks ago. Bob and I have lots in common, and we hit it off quickly and began dating.

    Or trying to. Half the time, when Bob calls, I miss his call, because I’m at work. Half the time when he wants to hang out, I’m too busy or just plain too tired. When we do hang out, I enjoy talking to him. But when he tries to get romantic, I find myself just “playing along,” not being genuinely passionate, like I was with my first boyfriend three years ago. I honestly don’t know if the problem is that I’ve forgotten how to “get into the mood,” or if it’s because I’m just not attracted to Bob. By all accounts I SHOULD be attracted to him. I love nerds, and he’s nerdy. I like skinny guys with the kind of eyes that Bob has. And there’s a LOT of great talk with him.

    I believe the wall that’s keeping me from feeling comfortable with Bob is because of the situation he lives in. Bob has a baby son, out of wedlock, with a girl who he dislikes and doesn’t get along with. Many young people in their 20s, like Bob and I, are in that same situation. Most of my best friends are. I don’t mind what they do with their lives, but it’s a world I never want to be a part of. Whenever Bob is bored and wants to hang out, but I’m just too busy, in the back of my mind I know *why* he’s bored and I’m busy; it’s because I have goals and he does not. I’m filling out applications for fulltime jobs, and working to save up money for an apartment. Bob works to pay off bills (largely child support, I suspect), and says that “it’ll be a LOOONG time” before he can think about moving out of his parents’ house. So I am constantly being reminded that Bob lives in a hell that I myself will do ANYTHING to avoid. I’ve even had some paranoid fears about the future of this relationship, like, “What if he’s hoping I’ll get an apartment with him, and I’ll be his ticket out of his parents’ home? What if that’s why he’s looking for a girlfriend?”

    Of course, most of my friends see Bob’s situation as totally normal. And at least one of my best friends has been talking, in front of Bob and I, about how she can’t wait for me to lose my virginity, and hear stories about how sex is going for us. I’ve had paranoid fears about that friend as well, like, “What if she’s hoping I get pregnant, because she thinks it’s the logical next step I need to take in life?!”

    I like Bob as a person and will do anything to keep him from being hurt. But dating him is creating a volcano of anxiety and paranoia for me. I need to date someone who is in the same boat as I am. A guy who has not kids, doesn’t want any anytime soon, and is working towards goals like I am.

    I have never broken up with anyone before, and I have no idea how to do it nicely. I know it’s horrible taste to break up over the phone or Face Book, so I don’t want to do that. But I don’t want to drag Bob downtown, or wherever, with him thinking it’s a date, and instead crushing him by breaking up. But I don’t want to do it at the bar we hang out at with our friends, because that would probably humiliate him (even if I did it in private, far away from everyone), and ruin his night. The best I can think of is to just hang out with him when he asks next time, and just break up with him then. Of course I won’t tell him the real reason I’m breaking up; I’m terrified it will leave him thinking, “My child has screwed everything…now I can’t even date!” I also know he’s battled depression in the past. I have a relative with emotional problems, who must always be told things in a special way filled with half truths. I don’t view this as cruelty or being manipulative; I view “white lies” and “half truths” the way I view marital arts–something you must know to protect yourself and those you care about, but should never use for selfish gain. I won’t lie to Bob about this, but I’ll only tell him half the truth. I’ll tell him that I am not ready for a relationship with anyone (which is true) and that I know in the long run it wouldn’t last between us anyway (since I plan to move to Chicago when I can, while he wants to move back home to the South).

    I don’t know how to end this post. But at least I feel a bit better now that it’s off my chest…and I killed the time I needed to before getting ready for work.

  51. Ive been going out wiith a guy for four months now, and I recenntly reaalized how immature he was. I was going to break up with him at the beginning of summer so I wouldn’t have to see him at school but last night hesaid he loved me, and though I still kind of like him I think I should break up with him sooner now because I feel bad that I don’t like him as much as he likes me. What should I say to him?

  52. anonymous2224 says:

    I’ve been with my bf for alittle more than 3 months and while his feelings for me have grown exponentially, mine have become less and less. from 1-10 on the breakup scale, I’m about 8.
    Im 16 and he is my first bf and I feel like we moved way too fast.
    We said I love you by one month and were sexually active by the second.
    he tells me allll the time how much he loves me and how he is the only reason he wakes up in the morning and how he is always afraid that he will mess up with me and is wayyyy to clingy for me. his parents moved to Texas and he stayed here to play football and lives alone and sees me as his only support. The problem is he is searching for a romantic comedy and I’m a comic tragedy. I don’t love him anymore, I never really did, it was just lust. And he lies all the time to make himself look cooler. Seriously you would have to be 4 years old to believe his lies. anyyywayyy, he loves me wayyy more than I love him and it’s not fair to him that I lie to him everyday when I say I love you too. I’m so afraid that, because he lives alone, if I break up with him he might do something stupid like hurt himself. I feel completely trapped. I’ve tried easing my way out of it, slowly moving away from him but it has only made the situation worse. I don’t know what to do…please help.

  53. how can i forget him pls help me!!!

    • AnonGirl says:

      Do you mean ‘how do you move on from a break-up’? Well, if it’s over then it’s over is one way of looking at it. Treat yourself to some personal time, go shopping, hang out with friends, catch a movie, go to a spa or something of the kind. Just take some time for YOURSELF. It isn’t selfish and it isn’t a bad thing to try to move on. Any of these things will help, I think, because sitting and thinking about it won’t help you at all. Try to stay away from Facebook or your phone or anything like that so that you can just have a break, and when you come back from this break start over. It may seem cliche but, everyday is a *new* day. It is what you make it, so if you choose to wake up and think ‘today I am going to think of him’ then that will dictate your entire day, but if you wake up and say to yourself ‘today is new day, and it’s mine to do with whatever I choose’ I guarantee that you’ll feel happier :). Good Luck :)

  54. M GETTING FADEUP DAILY TALKING AND MEETING , HOW DO I GIVE HIM BREAK UP

  55. Its weird to think that i know exactly what your going through, my boyfriend and i have been dating for over 10 months. This is my third boyfriend. The first one was a sweet heart and he broke it off after 10 and a half months. The next guy, he broke it off after two months, because he thought we were more friends and he also suffered from depression. So finally i met this boy, and at first i thought “Wow, this guys is so much better than the others, he takes care of me and he is just as silly as me.” But now, with 10 months gone, i only really enjoyed 6 of the months. We are still dating at this moment, but i keep wanting to break up because he won’t let me be alone for even 5 seconds. He doesn’t trust me when i’m alone with other guys. And then for Prom, i was going to spend the night at his house and he wanted to cuddle on their couch. I said “no” because i felt uncomfortable with his parents room being right there and i wanted my own personal space. He gets really obsessive, and is very clinging. When i go to parties, kids from his school really aren’t fond of him and he gets on their nerves and is just annoying. at first i didn’t believe it, but now i see exactly what they mean. i was going to break up with him, but then he started crying because we got in an arguement and i just couldn’t do it. Then later when i called him to say goodnight, he started telling me he had nothing to live for other than me. and he said he feels like no one cares about him. Then he said “The gun is right there, i could easily just do it. The only thing is, i know i would never have the guts to do it. What scares me, is that if i do end this, will i be the extra push to killing himself? Please help? i have no idea what to do! Its scaring me and i don’t want to be the cause of a death. and i don’t want to hurt him because i know he still likes me a lot. Please Please help!

    • AnonGirl says:

      That sounds quite serious. Look, I’m not a dating expert (never had a proper relationship) but I have seen heaps of friends go through this sort of stuff, to the point where the guy has said something like that. I myself am in senior year here in Australia and am having a similar sorta situation but, this guy……. Sorry back to your problem. Have you tried talking to your parents, if not your parents, what about his? I know that may seem daunting, and please don’t just take the stuff you read off the internet at face value for advice, but it isn’t always the best idea to face these kinds of situations alone. You should let someone know, soon if you can. I know it must be frightening to have to hear him say things like that but often times it is just a sign that you need to bring someone else in on the situation. I really hope this all works out for you, good luck.

  56. sari saphira castro says:

    hey guys i seriously need help my feelings 4 my bf r gone but hes so nice & sweet but i love this guy whos always been there 4 me 4 1.5 years he never left .& my parents r in love with me & my bf bein 2gether but hate da other 1 what do i do?

  57. I feel like such a bitch after reading this. I broke up with my last boyfriend through text. I knew it was wrong but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it any other way. It backfired though, and he called me a slut on Facebook. I was humiliated. I will never break up with someone any other way than face-to-face again.

    • AnonGirl says:

      Hey, don’t let yourself feel that way. Breaking up via social media may not have been the best thing to do but it isn’t something that you should continuously beat yourself up over. It’s happened and there isn’t anything that can change that (sorry if that’s blunt but that’s how it is). You’ve learned from it though which is great because (in my limited relationship experience) everything is about learning :). I’m sorry that he called you a slut on Facebook, and I am sorry that you had to go through that as well. But, try to move away from it, stay off FB for a while or just treat yourself to something nice :). Go to a spa or do something nice with your friends, :)

  58. AnonGirl says:

    Okay, I have to get someone else’s opinion on this because I’m at a loss for what to do. Here’s the situation:
    I am a high school student, senior year (which to me is enough stress), and I have never been in a relationship. I’m not looking for one either because I just don’t want that, but the thing is that there was a boy at school who really liked me. I made it clear from the start that I wasn’t looking for a relationship but that I was happy to be friends. He was fine with that for a while but, I always felt like he was in it more than me. Then came our prom/senior dance/formal (whatever you want to call it) and because I don’t know any other guys really I asked if he would be my partner for the night. He said yes but it was then that I started to feel like this might end badly because he obviously wanted to be more than friends. The night came and it was all good but, just the way he kept looking at me and stuff all night made me feel uncomfortable. I want to make it clear that he IS a nice guy, he’s funny and he was sweet and polite but I just didn’t want anything more than friendship.
    He had to stay at my house that night because of stuff (not going into it) but, that just made me more uncomfortable I guess, because all I really wanted to do was talk to my Mum/Mom about everything I was feeling and all that and with him there I couldn’t. Then we went on school break so I didn’t see him for a fortnight or so but we talked over FB. I just went over it with him (because even though I’ve never been in a relationship I believe that honesty will always be the best option) that I had a good time and that he was a nice guy but that I wasn’t looking for a relationship. He was a bit sharp with me saying stuff like “okay fine, you didn’t have to say it again”. Now I completely understand how he was feeling but then we didn’t talk for almost a month. (Honestly I was a bit…..happy I guess to have space because he confuses me sometimes). Then the other day I get a message from him saying that he’s sorry for being a jerk and he misses talking to me and all of this other stuff, but the thing is I really don’t want to talk to him anymore. He used to wait for me in the afternoons and stuff but after a while he was really clingy and I don’t know I just didn’t feel comfortable around him anymore. I haven’t replied to him yet (though I will) I just don’t know how to tell him that I don’t want to see him anymore. I don’t mean to come off sounding shallow or rude or anything like that but I am not going to lie to him and pretend that I still want to hang out. I just don’t know how to respond? I don’t really expect a reply but I needed to get that out, thanks for the post and all of the comments.

    • You really don’t need to be this worried about stuff like this… I have been in the same situation…. If he keeps being clingy make it clear (again, without hurting him) that you really aren’t looking for a relationship. If there is another guy you like, try showing the clingy dude that you are into ur crush and not him… That’s what I did and it worked pretty well and didn’t hurt the poor guy…:)

      • AnonGirl says:

        Thanks, :) I have already replied to him, mainly just saying that I was sorry for taking such a long time to respond and stuff. He said he was sorry for the way he acted and apologized about some other stuff. I accepted his apology and he hasn’t messaged me since. I hope it can stay the way it is now but thank you for getting back to me :)

  59. Anonymous says:

    My girlfriend and I were together for about a year. The relationship was long distance but we made it work, I would go down there to see her about once a month and she came up here one time as well. Things were going really well and I thought that there was no possible way for us to break up. Sure enough, she pulled the plug on our relationship over “not having feelings for me anymore” even though she said she still loved me as a friend. I still really love her and I want to be with her but she sees me now as just “another male friend”. She texted me the other day and said she wants to hang out but I don’t want to spend the effort to see her if its only just for friendship. Is this selfish of me or is there another way that I can handle this situation? I still want to be with her but I feel like my feelings are stronger for her than hers are for me.

    • anonymous says:

      Yo, 2 things. 1) Girls dont want a nice guy, trust me on this. Me and my friend were 2 opposite people he was a player and i was nice. he would get all the hot girls, one day i decided to change it up and be a dick, well as it happens i started getting girls (granted they arent the type you would marry) life was great but i could never be a jerk for to long and soon i would ease into a nice guy and by than the girl “loved” me because i was a nice jerk..its weird girls dont know what they want. Tell her straight up like a man. Yo i like you, im not cool with you dating other dudes and trying to hang out. you want me to move on, i’ll move on, but i dont need you hovering over my ass. we can chill if its going somewhere if its not than dont waste my time.

      see when you do that, it’ll show her you have balls, i know it sounds mean and harsh and had someone told me this i would think no, but trust me it works. she will eventually come back or move on. but the point is you will be free. and what you need to do, is find a hobby start hanging out with your boys go out on the town, talk to other girls like you have a pair and that you dont care what they say or think. BE CONFIDENT!

      Option 2 is invite her over your place be real cool, not into her, pour some drinks have your fun, and the next day plan a date, and wake up before her and leave her a note saying. “Sorry babe, i had to go out on a date, please help yourself with some food, See you next time. Thanks!” Keep the friends with benefits classy…trust me all these girls will comment saying this is bad advice, but look at how many of them have a crush on their bf’s friend, or some other guy. its most likely because the guy has balls, and isnt worried about them.

      Or say sorry im not that kind of guy, i truly loved you and so i wont take advantage of you we cant be friends, its not fair to me or you. Please dont text unless you want something. (just remember bro, nothing is ever the same. forget the girl its easier, look in the mirror everyday and say “shes dead to me, and im a fucking rock star.” saying that 10 times a day and saying “damn! i look good!” in every mirror you see yourself in will make your confidence shoot up. look at magizines and you will see the newest styles. half of your look is cloths and hair! trust me bro, the other half is confidence!)

      Grow a pair and tell her were just about one thing now, so do what you gotta do babe you got my address come by if you wnat to have a good time. and than dont respond the whole day. (turn your phone off) if she asks where you were just be like, I was busy, whats good. coming through? if she says yes to no or calls dont answer than the next day text her saying yo! sorry i wasnt home did you come by? come through tonight. and dont let her talk about anything else dont respond to anything else, just keep saying are you gonna come through or not, i gotta make plans, let me know. i’m gonna be out let me know yes or no bye! have a good day.

      it will make you look like you found some balls.

      • Anonymous says:

        Um no sorry to burst your bubble but girls would hate that. I know most girls want a nice guy but he needs to know how to stand up for himself when it’s needed. Also, DON’T call them or try and talk to them 24/7. It annoys the crap out of most of us girls. Don’t ignore them but dot be clingy.

  60. Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. But 2 months into the relationship he moved to another state. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about breakin it off, because we hardly ever talk, we’ll never get to see each other, and I’m not willing to leave my family and friends to go live with him. How can I say it in a nce-ish way as to not hurt him too much? His parents are also getting a divorce.

  61. Confused chick says:

    i need help badly…i have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now and i thought things were going great but starting about 2 months ago i started to get this feeling that we were disconnecting and wen i confronted him about it he was completely dismade and i felt terrible because i have always dated jerks and he is the nicest an most thoughtful guy i have ever dated so it would tear me apart to hurt him. but i think that staying with him would tear me apart even more. i do care about him but i think he really needs to focus on himself instead of us and i just dont have the same feelings for him anymore as he does with me. i was denying it at first and saying oh we will get over it and things will get better so ive been giving it time before doing anything about it. on top of that i think im startig to be into my best guy friend. but i dont want to make it seem like i dumped my boyfriend for him. and i just really really dont know what to do. :(

    • I am in almost the exact same situation as you. Confusing, I know…. Oh boys, what will we do about them? I’m still searching for advice too, but I guess that u should just be as gentle as possible…. Don’t stall,t Hugh cuz then he’ll get angry

  62. Okay, so I have had a crush on this one boy named Josh for a few years now and then I met another boy named Dave… Dave asked me out, and I said yes because I had had a HUGE crush in him for like 2 months… Dave and I have been going out for a while now, and he loves me a lot and cares about me and I sweet and good looking, but he is very immature and the only compliment he ever gives me is “your so hot”… He also always talks about how he “feels so horny around me”… I am 13 and he is turning 14 soon… I want to break up with him now but his birthday is in a few weeks… I don’t want to break his heart but I know it’s time to move on. Help?

    • Also, Dave and josh are really close, and some days I feel like Dave and I are perfect for each other while other days I feel like there is just no spark whatsoever…. Dave constantly calls me and asks me to Skype, Oovoo and chat him every time I get the chance…. Sweetest thing in the the world but I just can’t break his heart or I would never forgive myself….tips?

    • Hey Hannah:) well I was in the exact same situation last year when I was 16. I also started liking my bfs best friend. My best advice to you would be to stay away from josh. When you tell him of your feelings (even if he returns them) he will most probably feel “honor bound” not to date you because you dated his friend, especially if they were close. This might cause a huge problem and you might lose both of them, or hurt them both.
      Another thing, though I am unsure if this is true in your case, my boyfriend never truly loved me (although he said he did) and he was only really interested in how far we could go. I have learned that when a boys only complements for you are “your so hot” or how “horny” you make him, his feelings aren’t genuine and hes only interested in “the deed”. Again, this is just based on my experiences and it may be different for you, but I hoped my rambling helped. Good luck!

      • Also when I try to hold his hand in public he like pulls his hand away after 5 seconds as if he’s embarrassed. He says “Hold on a sec” and does something else really quick or runs somewhere for a second to make it seem like he’s too busy to slow down and just hold my hand. He’s doesn’t like to hold my hand or hug me in public or with his friends either. It makes me feel like he’s not proud that I’m his girlfriend. Im not ugly! O_O and all of his friends are my friends too. Im comfortable with them all.

  63. I understand completely my boyfriend wont let ne hang out with my friends and hes cussed them out a few times over stupid stuff and so everyone hates him. I want to leave but hes had such a hard life and I feel so bad and he knows this and uses it against me. He made me cry kn graduation night by telling me my dress looked slutty and got pissed viz he couldnt stand next to me during the class picturr

    • Anonymous says:

      girl, you need to GET OUT of that relationship. any guy that calls you a slut does not* deserve to be with you.

  64. anonymous says:

    im only 13 years old and ive been dating my boyfriend for just under 2 months,he is one of the nicest guys ive ever met. Ever since the beginning of the relationship we have been awkward around eachother,we’re in some of the same classes but i honestly dont think weve ever had a proper conversation that wasnt about something stupid. I dont like him as much as i used to and we were great friends before.

    Recently ive gotten close to a boy that went to my primary school,we both liked eachother then,but nothing happened. He is friends with my boyfriend,but i dont think they’re that close. I dont want to break my boyfriends heart,but i think i love this other boy,we have more in common than me and my boyfriend&im always smiling when i talk to him.

    I know people have said that face to face is the best way to break up with someone,but honestly i couldnt look into his eyes and tell him its over,if i tried id end up putting it off and its just not fair on him if i continue in the relationship while loving someone else,ive read all the posts trying to write something that sounds like a good way to break up. how can i word it without losing my friend?..

  65. ConfusedGirl says:

    I’m in a really* tough situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three months and it’s been really great, but I don’t know if I still love him that much anymore, and I think I might have rushed into the relatiponship too fast. Also, my ex and I have kind of been “talking” for about a week…I think I still love him. I need to break up with my boyfriend because I know it isn’t right for me to love somebody else while I am still in another relationship, but I can’t think of what to tell him because I don’t want to break his heart. When we hangout it’s like awkward because we don’t really talk, but we text all day, everyday and I honsetly don’t feel like I can be mysef around him. With my ex it’s way different; he always makes me smile, gives me butterflies, I can be myself around him, and it’s not really that awkward. By the time I’m almost to the end of this is when I realize that I need to breakup with him because I still love my ex. What should I tell him?

  66. befuddled says:

    Okay, so I’vet been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 years and we live together. It was really wonderful during the first year, up until he cheated on me, but thats a whole other kettle of fish. I told him I would try to make it work this one time and he has not to my knowledge done it since. He takes really great care of me, and has bent over backwords for me countless times, and loves me to pieces. However, ever since I agreed to stay with him I have always wondered if I could ever really get over it because I felt like it put a huge chasm between us. But I thought maybe that feeling would go away after time. Although that feeling has somewhat weakened I still feel its there. I thought about breaking up with him some months ago but I .couldn’t muster up the courage because I knew it would devistate him. And then shortly after that his mother passed and I basically became his only family, and I knew that there was no way I could have done it then. I feel so guilty because he is such a great boyfriend and we do get along so well. I just don’t think that I feel the same way about him and most likely havent for a long time and was just saying “oh it’ll get better, I felt that way about him once, maybe again.” I just don’t know how to tell him, or if I’d be making a huge mistake. I still care about him immensely I just don’t think that it constitutes as love anymore, I feel like a horrible person for saying “I love you”because he doesn’t deserve me lying to him like this, he’s such a great guy. I just dont know what to do.

    • Befuddled,

      I am pretty much in exact the same situation as you. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. after 2 years he cheated on me and I decided to stay with him which I now think is the worst possible desicion I could have made. The last 3 years have been great at times and a little crappy at times and the fact that he cheated has always been in the back of my mind even though I told him and myself that we could move on from it. He treats me like a princess and is so great to me but my romantuc feelings towards hime have faded especcially over the last 6 months and now I am struggling with figuring out how I am going to leave him. His grandmother died earlier this year who he was really close with so that has made it extremely tough too. I find it really hard to hurt people so i have dragged it out for so long but I am getting to the point where I think my wellbeing is more important then the relationship. Also I think I have outgrew him and have a need to be free and concentrate on my goals and future. I think I am going to get over my fear of hurting him and build up courage and do it next week. I will let you know what I said and how it went. Remember darling, your happiness is more important then keeping him happy and 4 years in the scheme of your whole life is only a tiny little chunk. You will feel like a great weight has been lifted from you when you do it and even though it will be very hard and you may feel like shit for a while in the long run you will be happier and stronger and all round a better person. :)

      <3 Elysia

  67. befuddled says:

    And the couple weeks ago my moms friend told me that when you’ve been with somebody for a long time you feel like you owe it to them to give it one more shot, but you dont. You owe them the courtesy to tell them the truth and you will be doing what’s fair for both of you. It really struck a cord with me although she wasnt talking about me at the time. I think I just need to suck it up and just tell him how I feel. I only worry that I won’t be able to stick to my guns when I hear him cry or beg me to stay or any of the common responses to a break up with someone you still love.

  68. befuddled says:

    Make that who still loves you.

  69. Joy2TheWorld says:

    Im really writing this to just get it out of my system. Not trying to get any responses and i dont plan on ever comming back onto this site.
    I met Deon at the end of my freshman year. We became friends and I’m a big flirt so i had my options of guys. I got together with him and i was so enthused because i dont date. He was my first actual boyfriend and I was the first girl he was faithful to. His past relationships were terrible and left him scarred. After a while, we had sex and i gave him my virginity. I was so very in love with him. Through the next years, we went through very rough and very exciting times. My family was the least supportive of my relationship. I so desprately wanted to rebel against thier negativity so it made me stay with him longer.
    He got to meet Parker who has loved me since we were children. i just never felt him as more than a brutha to me. But he will always be there.
    A past flame, Tony, was still in my life too. We only stayed friends because we were a long distance apart. But dont be mistaken, I am the AlphaBitch in his life. When I come around, I am the female that comes first, and I will let all the females know. Tony has met my bf too.
    My bf and I had a huge blowout last July but we loved eachother too much to leave one another. Over time I realized that our relationship was a peice of sh*t. But my heart wouldnt let me listen to my brain. My bf has just ended his first year of college and it has been kind of crazii. He was always out and I didnt get to talk to him much. i got used to it and didnt worry. I just realized that i didnt need to be on the phone with him all day long. My love for him had not faded or changed in any kind of way. But in January he just started trippin a little too hard for me to handle sometimes. And with us barely speaking already, arguing just wasnt a positive impact.
    Well last year in December a friend of mine, Calton, who is so very sexy and mature, wanted so desperately to have sex with me but I have a bf and I dont get down like that. So i told him ”no”. So now he is on this mission to prove that he doesnt just want sex. And i am willing to give him a chance to prove his intentions and the more my bf tripped, the more his chance grew.
    My other friend I met last year in August really likes me but i dont like him at all. Since we all just graduated he said we should hang out. So he said he would pay for my ticket if iwe went, So im havin my otha friend go and break his ”thou shall not cock block” rule lol. Big thanks to my friend Tyler.
    Well in February I met my friend Johanii. He had just gotten out of a bad relationship and i was still in mine. We got really close in the short amount of time we have known eachother. I started to really like him because he wasnt after sex, i wanted to fix all the things that girl had done wrong to him and i was really attracted. We started hanging out and basically going on dates. He and I talked often about my relationship. He was actually supportive of it, telling me I should try and work things out. But we were kissing and practically bf/gf. But I still had me bf. My brother and I talked about my situation and he said if I was really feeling Johanii like that then I should give him everything and see if my feelings for my bf diminish completely. And they have. I didnt think it would happen but it did. My bf started to suspect something but i couldnt bring myself to tell him. The thing is, Johanii has mixed feelings about me. But he knew what the situation was in the beginning. Idk why he plays with being mine.?
    I finally got some courage to tell Deon how i was feeling. I almost broke up with him but i just couldnt. He was trying to do anything to get my heart back. He still is but im not trying to stay with the past. Ive been waiting to see if there is a spark but nothing has happened. We had sex about two months ago but it was terrible for me. There was no emotion and the only way i got off was by thinkin of Johanii instead of Deon. I know its terrible. It was great for him though. He talks about how it was the best. I dont even want to kiss him anymore.
    Now as of a few weeks ago, I have an additional guy, David. He is in a music group that is on their way to fame. Im not after his money or anything. I was attractred before I had any knowledge of that. And besides, the difference between a groupie and a fan is a friend. He’s local too. But he wont even respond to my messages on facebook. Im not trying to court him through FB, just give hime my nummber since that’s the only way of communication.
    Idk what to do about my wandering eyes. I have been saying all the things Deon wants to hear but Im tired of trying to pretend like something is still there other than friendship. Its been a long three years, but I want someone else, and I have options. I just am ready for this to be over over for both of us.

  70. I become the problem when I want to break up I do all out annoying habbits be a complete mental eventually the poor guy has enough and what do ya know calls it off he walks off happy thinking it was his idea and I get to miss the wreakage.

  71. I had a girlfriend for only a couple months and I really like her. We had a great time together, there’s nothing I ever did that made her mad or upset, I only made her laugh and be happy. We had gone to an amusement and had an great time. Everything was fine, she didn’t seem bored or sad or anything. For the next two days she doesn’t answer mt texts, and then on the third day she breaks p with me over a text. Why? Honestly I’ve never done anything that would make her want to break up with me. I just don’t understand. She showed absolutely no signs leading up to this, and then breaks up with me right after I take her to an amusement park, and over a text? I still really like her but, read that It’s best to not talk to your gf for a while, and wait for her to miss you and text you back. It’s been three weeks since the break up.

    • Girls are like that, and being a girl I know this. They act like they love you one moment and then break up with you. I know alot of girls who do that to thier boyfriends and it’s really sad. They just aren’t worth it if they do that to you. There are many girls in the world and when you find that one girl who makes you feel good inside while being friends and treat you good, then that’s a nice girl.

  72. i have been with my boyfriend for two months now. Quite frankly i slowly lost feelings for him and now they are just gone. He is a really nice guy and i really want him to stick around as a friend…. there’s just one problem… in the course of the last month, i’ve fallen for my Best friend. We had a thing before but now have realized feeling springing up for each other again…. My boyfriend is sweet and all but just doesn’t GET me like my bestfriend…. i want to break up with my boyfriend, but i can’t get with my best friend right away afterwards (seems a little suspicious don’t u think?). I just really don’t know how to break up with my boyfriend because he was my first boy friend and we were each others first kiss and all. Also he seems to be still completely in love with me…. HELP.

    • We almost have the same problem. Accept I don’t like my best guy friend. The best thing to do is just tell the truth. You’ve lost your feelings for him but he is a nice guy and deserves somebody who likes him back. And you can still be friends with him! It’s awesome that you like your guy friend because you guys are really good friends, right? You are right when you say you shouldn’t go right to your friend. Let your bf get use to you guys just being friends and let him get comfortable with you getting together with other guys or else it will be awkward. You are not alone and REMEMBER THAT.

  73. I have been dating a guy for 3 months now. He loves me so much, but I don’t feel the same way about him. He is super sweet, but now just over does it. He texts me everyday, but I honestly don’t even feel like responding most days. When we hang out or go on dates I just can’t bear to pretend like I love him as much as he loves me. He always want to kiss me constantly where we can’t even have a conversation. Also, another guy just asked me on a date, and I really want to go but I would never ever cheat on someone. I just don’t know how to break it off with him without seeming like a total b****.

  74. I have the same problem a lot of girls are having on here.. So I’m a sophomore in highschool, my bf is a senior. Very first problem is the age difference he’s 18. Anyways, we’ve only been dating for around 3 months our 3 month is this Sunday.. He wants to take me on a biiig date. When we first started Dating he was everything I wanted; charming, good looking, funny, goofy, the nicest guy. There was a point where I did love him and I still do, but ever since the beginning it’s been obvious he likes me more. I feel so bad, he is a great guy but I’m not “In love” with him anymore. I have gotten to know him better and I would rather hangout with him then be romantic with him. I have almost broken up with him once but he was in tears before I could actually do it. He told me he had been thinking of ways to kill himself (he isn’t a suicidal person). I don’t know how to do it, I want to do it soon just so I don’t have to keep lying to him. He keeps telling me “you’re the only girlfriend I have truly fallen in love with” and “I don’t know what I would ever do if you left me”. I love the kid and don’t want to hurt him but I can’t keep pretending. I honestly don’t want a relationship anymore. Please help! I’m horrible with breakups!!:,(

  75. I’ve been with my guy for 4 years. Throughout its been A LOT of ups and downs, and 99% of the time, I was the one trying to repair whatever issue there was. Things have gotten really bad, I cried every night in June. We didn’t really speak, save “hi”, that month. It’s been 6 wks since he touched me or have a real conversation with me. When he gets stressed out, it’s like he takes out his frustration on me by giving me the silent treatment as if I caused the problem. I always take the initiative and try to improve myself and us, but he doesn’t put forth the same effort. All I ever asked of him was to appreciate me and try to talk to me, show me a little affection, like a hug once a week. Now, that he’s happy, he wants to talk to me but I’m so disconnected to him that I feel nothing but guilt because I know I’m looking to move out and I want to break up. 4 Years is a long time, and I’m not quitter, but how many times does a person try before giving up. I’m there. This sort of thing happens every 3 months maybe. I can’t deal with this. I love him, but I love myself more. I just feel guilty because it’s been so long. I know this is the best thing for me, but I feel like a total bitch. I’m tired of feeling depressed then happy, it repeats itself.

    • Same Boat says:

      I know what you mean and EXACTLY how you feel. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months now and a lot of it has been up and down. We never have a good week anymore and it seems impossible to. We even fight over long distance. I am the only one who tries to work on the relationship and patch things up but he just gives me the silent treatment. He even says degrading things about me and my friends or whoever I hang out with even though they have absolutely nothing to do with it. I also didn’t want to give up like you because I believe that anything can work out if you want it to and try hard enough. However, I’m beginning to realize that maybe that only works out if your partner in the relationship wills it to as well. I think that if one person in the relationship doesn’t put forth the same effort, then they probably either don’t care as much, or know that you’ll stay with them (bad either way, and I really don’t want to even admit this). I am proud of you girl, I hope everything worked out. 4 years is way too long to continue putting up with this. Would you want this for a lifetime? I’m not trying to sway you towards a breakup because I don’t even know if that’s what I really want myself. But what helps me is that I think about how much this relationship is worth to me and how happy I am. If no changes are to be made, will I put up with this for the rest of my life? Let me know how you ended up dealing with this, I want to know too! or if anyone can give me/us some advice as well, please reply!

      • I’m in the same situation as you girls. On one hand, we don’t want to ride this roller coaster this for the rest of our lives. Then again, are we being petty, and forgetting that relationships are hard work and not always puppy dogs and rainbows, you have to take the bad with the good, and all that jazz. It’s hard to change someone, OKAY its impossible. We can influence, but they need to want to make things better! Also, then not only are we riddled with guilt about whether or not we should have tried harder! Or just put up with shit a little bit longer. We are left wondering if the next guy will be even worse than this one. Every body has different quirks. It almost become impossible to find someone without some kind of flaw. So are we then left with just having to accept the ones we can live with? And dump the guys with the flaws that we cant? I don’t f’n know the answers to these questions!!! Arrrgh!

  76. so confused says:

    Ok so I’ve read everyone’s previous post and some are similar to what I’m experiencing with my man but no exactly. We are coming up to our one year in august but I’m starting to lose my feelings for him. We have had a lot of issues with him being honest. When we first started dating it was in our third month that I girl messages me explaining to me that she too was dating him. When I confronted him with the proof he denied denied denied. Even when I had told him that her and I met up and I saw the call log and messages he still tried to deny everything….well, I forgave him…. And we continued to date. We now live together and I have kicked him out and took him back twice now for lying. Now its come to this. I have a 2 year old with another man who is very much involved in her life and my bf doesn’t like that. Every time he comes around my dude leaves the room and my daughters father thinks that if he is going to be the man in my and my da ughters life that he needs to be respectful of him and not run and hide whenever he comes around. I am also raising my 16 year old brother and at first he really liked my boyfriend. But my guy started exagerating things about my brother and now mat (my baby bro ) wants to move back to my mothers and everyone knows he won’t do good there. I’m starting to notice small things too. Like lies. Little pathetic pointless lies like lying that he’s been somewhere or knows people he doesn’t. He always finds a way to relate to what someone is saying even if he really has no clue and now I’m starting to feel embarassed that I’m even with him. But last time I kicked him out he had no where to go and I don’t want that on my conscience. But at the same time I don’t want my baby bro leaving because of him…. I just don’t feel like he’s real. And Omg he will have the most sudden mood swings where one minute hell be alright then the next he’s off in his woe is me fits and goes and sits in the room for hours and messes with everyone’s mood and vibe. I feel bad because I feel like I’m not keeping my word when I said forever. I need advice. What should I do :( .

    • Dump him. Sounds like a loser. Blood is thicker than water. You need to take care of your brother before some dead beat liar.

  77. I have a problem where my fiancé went to work for two months in camp and when he was so excited for our daughter and I to come up. Now two weeks after the move I basically feel like a single parent. The relationship is dead and I pretty sure I’m being cheated on. We have been together for three years now. I want to end it but being a stay at home mom is don’t have the money to fly back home. Anyone have any suggestions about what I should do?

  78. i met my boyfrieng @ church.i loved him and i couldnt see the reason why we shouldnt date.he loves me to bit.after a month i just couldnt feel the connection anymore.then i decided to break up with him thru sms.he kept on begging me to stay but that just irritated me even worse. the thing is this guy is obssess with me.he can send a masseges in every 5min for the whole day telling the same thing that he loves you and wants to be with you for the rest of his life.i mean if we dating theres no need to tell that cos its obvious that we love each other otherwise we wouldnt be dating.so after some time we decided to get back together and i told him dat what he was doing was obssession and its stuffing me up.but as we speak he is doing xctly dat and i just cant stand it.its more like he has never had a relationship b4.gosh the guy is so boring with his msgs.everytime when i sleep i read abwt 15msgs of his saying the same thing and this is one of those”morning baby how are baby how do you feel baby i hope yuot getting better love enjoy you day i love you” and the next one say “i just want you to know that i will always love you no mater want” tell me if that make sense to you and it only 7:30 but already got dat crab..hai man i hate this relationship but just dont want to hurt the poor guy

  79. Alright. Me and this guy have been going out on and off for about 6 months. I like him soooo much, i dont even know why, i havent seen him once while we were dating and hes not very romantic. Im just absoluteley in love with him. I go back and forth like, every hour on what i should do. Currently, 4 other guys are after me and its really stressful with all these guys flirting with me. I want to be with my bf, but i want to see him. im thinking maybe i just need a long break from boys. And i dont know if this would be our last breakup. Idk what to do, help :(

    • I’ve felt like i’ve loved somebody too. I still really like him even though I never see him because he moved. I also have other guys flirting with me while i’m at the pool when i’m with my bf and they say all this stuff and it’s irritating because again like I said in my other comment I don’t want him to feel like i’m leading him on. I know how you feel when you say you need a break from boys. It does feel good when other guys flirt with you. And i’m with you when you say you go back and forth of what you should do. And sometimes, it’s just better to be friends. It takes alot of stress off of you.

  80. My friends friend just goes up to her boyfriend and says, “I’m breaking up with you, I don’t like you, I like another guy, we’re OVER.” And i’m like, ‘What the heck?’ That’s what she told me to do because I told her that I want to break up with my boyfriend. But it seems WAY too harsh. In his POV it would be like somebody just stabbed him. I’ve been dating the guy for a couple months but I don’t really feel a connection. He’s a really nice guy, and he is always telling me how pretty I am and how nice I am and I just feel like he deserves a girl who feels the same way about him. And I really don’t want him to feel like I was leading him on but unfortunately that’s probably wat he’s going to think. We were really good friends before and I really hope it will be like before. He’s a great guy and he deserves somebody who really likes him. If you’ve read all of this thank-you. :)

  81. Okay. SO I broke up with my BF. Things had just gone cold. No more feelings, He would even ignore me (etc) :( My friends kept saying he wasn’t good enough for me and he never treated me the way he should have. I ignored them for a while and just thought on my own on how our relationship was. I realized it was not what I wanted. I broke up very recently but…. I’ve actually found someone. I had been interested in them before hand. But I had a couple of guys who I had liked. And my (ex) bf had asked me out so I was taken and of course left those feelings to rest in a little jar on the shelf. But he has been flirting with me apparently (I’m never good at telling if they like me) my Bestie had pointed this out to me. He is really sweet and a great friend he always makes me smile even on my depressing days. Those feelings I had before for him all rushed back. I don’t even think he knew I had been dating someone (I have a big school so even the ol’ gossip isn’t enough sometimes). And I was thinking. How long is it until it’s appropriate to move on to someone else? Thanks for all your help! :)

  82. Help! I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 yrs. Things have been good half the time other half issue’s with laziness. I know that relationships take work. And it can not always been hearts and butterfly’s. I still am madly in love with this man. 1 st issue… a few months ago we found out we are pregnant. 5 Months along now. Well recently he quit his job due to not liking it – after a year and a half of work. And has had one good day of applying online with no positive results. I work at home, so he has non-stop being playing games, online, x box ect. – he yells when I ask about places to apply. We had this same issue a few years ago, where I had to hold his hand to get the job he just had. I do make enough to cover our bills alone, but now with the baby coming I am feeling over whelmed with the time I will need to take off, and am not wanting to risk him being 6 months w/out a job again. To prove that there are jobs. I have applied and got results w/in a couple of days this week – knowing that with energy I would not be able to take on another job. This has not added any results to him looking. I do talk with him, but he always shuts me out. I do not nag or yell. I feel he is an adult and should know what needs to be done. Well 2nd issue- now with no job- him slobbing around the house has added extra cleaning and such to be done, he refuses to do anything – take out trash dishes- this man has become- an excuse man – I have never asked him to help with house work before cause it was simple- I am home all day, mind you I am working 8 hours – but still the mess was not bad, now it is horrible- I guess – is this enough to leave. what steps can be done. I only have a few months before I have someone to really take care of – and I do not have strength to take care of both. I feel he has failed at the time I need him the most.

  83. I’ve been in an online relationship with this guy for nearly six months now. To begin with, he seemed absolutely perfect in every way, and we were convinced that we were meant for each other. Even though I’ve always had a bit of a commitment problem, I really meant whatever I said when we made plans for the future.

    But recently, I’ve slowly been losing that initial attraction to him. It feels like he’s smothering me. I hate it when he talks about the future like it’s a given. And everyday, I seem to discover new things about him which, when put together, really irritate and annoy me. He’s so… passionless about anything except me. It’s like his entire life revolves around me, and I just can’t take that anymore!

    But my problem is, I sent him a few partially nude pictures of me. So far I’ve trusted him with them, and I KNOW he won’t leak them or anything, but I still feel scared when I think of what he might do with them if I break up.

    Help!

  84. i want to break with my boyfriend, he annoys me alot with his ego and pride but he keeps telling me how im the love of his life and he cares for only me. I almost fully broke up with him yesterday but he said things tht made me be with him still. Ive told him i care for him but i think i losing my feelings for him gradually because of his attitude…wat should i do, help me!

  85. So, like everyone else here, I’m in need of guidance. I’m a 21 year old senior in college. I left my boyfriend of four and a half years bc I wasn’t feeling appreciated. A few months later, I started seeing my new and current boyfriend. Although he is incredibly sweet, he is somewhat clingy and clearly more into me than I am into him. I’ve noticed myself thinking about my ex on a multiple times a day basis. I try not to communicate with him though bc he did not want to separate when I left him, and he still has very strong feelings for me. I’ve noticed now that I’d rather get back with him than continue in the relationship I’m in. Am I just going through a phase of missing him, or should I attempt to reunite with my ex? Thanks!!

  86. My guy is sweet, funny and showers me with compliments. I love him, just not as much as he loves me. I want us just to be friends. But i don’t know how to explain it to him. He’s sensitive and has been through a lot. I’m willing to support him and will always be there, just as a friend though, nothing more. Help me!! D:
    -Girl who’s going to break an extremely sweet guys heart

    • I really don’t know what to say to you. Its so very hard! Unfortunetly the sweeter they are, the less likely they will forgive you and want to be friend. I found this out from experience. Sorry. :(

  87. Yeah, so I currently have a boyfriend who’s a year younger than me. We met last year in Marching Band (Yes, we’re geeks, I know) but didn’t really start communicating until the summer, when neither of us saw each other. Several weeks before school began again, he asked me out via text-and while I said no (despite liking him back-I just wasn’t certain about it), we met at a movie and somehow are ‘together’. I don’t think my feelings were more than a crush, honestly, and I feel obligated to tell him “I love you,” back every time he says the phrase to me…and honestly? I’m getting rather tired of it. What’s worse (and slightly unrelated, but still involved) is the fact that I’m interested in a guy I’ve known since pre-K. He’d asked me out in eighth grade, but I broke it off after a few months. We ended up in the same high school, and became mutually re-interested in my sophmore year, but it faded. Now, once again, he seems interested in me, and I really want nothing more than to break up with my current bf (even though he’s done nothing wrong except being a bit clingy and overprotective at times) and either stay aloof, single, and uncomplicated for the rest of my highschool terms or get back with the guy I like. Personally, I’d prefer both situations remain as uncomplicated as possible, but that’s about as reasonable as asking the president to fix the deficit. Any advice is welcomed.

  88. I have a bf and weve been dating 4 and a half mths. I wanna break upp with him but im his first gf he sortof acts like all we r is friends and he doesnt seem to reslly care plus im sortof getting a crush on someone else

  89. much more good points will be recommended. but still there are good points which are more encourage.

  90. Hey jenn

    Pls help me… I am dating with a guy who is the one whom I had crush to be with. But now it has been around two weeks and I am comfortable with him. I was the one to tell him how felt for him first then he officially proposd me… I am in a big dellima to tell him that I love him but I am not into love with him.how to make him understand?? Please can any guy help me to come out of this vicious mind….please do advise ASAP…..

  91. Ok so I have been dating this guy for about a month and I really like him but he goes to another school and I hardly get to see him on top of that there is another guy that I really really like but I don’t want to hurt my boyfriends feelings. And I know that it will hurt him if I tell him there is someone else. My boyfriend is always going on about how he never gets to see me and about how I have only made it to four of his football game but it’s almost the end of volley ball season and he hasn’t made it to one of my games! He told he he would come to the one this week but I can’t even play and it’s against his school!! I need some serious help on how to break up with him!! HELP!

  92. I have a boyfriend who i am planning on breaking up with. He is very kind but very possesive. I am a sophmore and he is just annoying. You know when you just want to sit back and complain? He always has to top you. Then when he asks you out he does it in the kindest way so you just have to say yes. Then not 5 minutes after he askes you out you apparently agreed to sex, marriage, and eternity. I mean seriously. Then he wont leave you alone. Always trying to hold your hand or puts his arm around you. I mean take a hint. So i am going to break up with him, soon.

  93. I have a boyfriend who is much older than I. I am planning on breaking up with him because I feel like he doesn”t really love me anymore because he hardly calls and I think he is cheating. I don”t know what to do please can you give me some advise.

  94. I’ve been dating this guy for a little over 2 years now, and he’s sweet and helps when I need it. But since we started living together things have changed. He has people watch me everyday at school just to make sure I don’t talk to any other guys, doesn’t matter if their attractive or not, he just gets jealous. We’ve gotten to the break up point 3 times now but he never moves all hos stuff out when he goes, and it makes me feel terrible when I see his things and not him. We fight all the time, and he gets mad over little things. And everytine he’s mad I wa.t to find out what’s wrong but he just lays in bed and is completely mute, and falls asleep and when he wakes up he expects me to be okay. I really need some kind of help. My friends tell me to leave but it hurts me and he just yells at me and tells me what I do wrong. What do I do? ):

  95. Well.. I’d have to say after reading all those other posts, my problems seem incredible small.. But i still don’t know what to do. I’ve asked friends for advise but I don’t think any of them understand. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now. But the entire relationship is based on our phones. We go to different schools and rarely ever see eachother because of sports. He is very introverted, I’ve always kinda liked that but it makes me nervous. He has cheated on me, but I “forgave” him because we are on a break (that lasted two days). It took a really long time to get together, but we’ve been best friends forever, but lately I have been having the realization that we are just in different placeses right now.. I want to go to college and be sussecful, but he is still in this immature stage that is too much for me, I feel like a parent.. But we’ve been through so much, and his home life is kinda messed up, I can’t bare the thought of him upset, he already spends too much time in his head. The worst part is.. I met this new guy on accident, and ugh, relationships are so constraining (I’m not cheating on him, I’m just feel like things could be better.. That sounds awful) but I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way if I am happy.. But this is also my first boyfriend.. So I don’t really know what happy is. He is incredibly sweet and amazing but just too immature. I really need help, I don’t want to hurt him, but he must be feeling this pain too..? Can you help me?

  96. After reading a bit of that, i have no idea to even express what my problem is.
    My Boyfriend and i have been together for a 1 & 1/2 years.
    And we have been living together for that amount of time.
    We just recently got our own place together,
    We are financially tied… but im starting to resent him,
    He isnt romantic anymore, he doesnt make me feel special anymore & he just does things to piss me off.
    I feel so tied into this relationship – that there is no escape.
    I want to love him like i used to, but i just dont.
    I am too afraid to end it, because i will regret it.
    HELP!

  97. I have been dating this guy for 7 months now. We have been through a lot. He is a drug addict and has been locked up for almost 4 months in and out of the hospital from over dosing or tryin to kill himself. I love him but I just don’t think I’m in love with him. He is very jealous and is constantly accusing me of messing around. He has been abusive in the past also. I’m sure a lot of you are saying “wtf is wrong with you?! Why are you still with him?!” Well I am just way too nice I guess. No matter how horrible he is to me I just can bring myself to breaking things off. I am miserable in the relationship and I know the right thing is to leave but I’m scared that if I do he will kill himself. I am honestly afraid if him. He has threatened me by saying if I hurt him he will make me pay and make my life miserable. He says its not a threat it’s a promise.. Someone please help!!!!!

    • simple. You need to surround yourself with friends and family. Don’t have friends? Its time to make some. nice people always win :)

  98. I am having a hard time breaking up with my boyfriend. He has depression and I don’t want to cause it to get worse. He is a sweet guy, but I don’t really have a connection with him anymore. Give me advice.

    • you need to do it. I know its hard, but do what’s right for you… if you don’t, you’ll just feel worse as time goes by. Set up a time right after to see your friends. They’re important

  99. Okay! Finally read through all of these posts, and you know what. I think I’m actually NOT gonna break up with my guy! LMFAO!! Of all the problems that everyone seems to have, it appears it is very sad how difficult it is to see the forest from the trees. Of course if you have lost the spark that you once had, and have tried…key word TRIED to get it back to no avail. Then moving on is the most obvious thing to do. If you are with an abusive person or someone who breaks you down emotionally, or physically….then it’s a no brainer things will only get worse and you MUST move on. However due to the issues that I have in my relationship, I have realized that there is no lack of feelings that used to, and still run deep. There is no abuse, mentally or physically. There is only the physical elements of the way he lives, that of which his choices have set in motion for him. Choices that he made before I was able to influence him. It is clear to me know that a little support, and a lot of conversation can help and possibly change the path he is set on. You see, you cant make someone love you if they don’t. You can make them respect you if they won’t. But you can make someone (examples: chew with their mouth closed if you tell them it bothers you. Buy them a new pair of shoes if their old ones smell. Help them study if they are failing at a class. ) Most of all if someone truly loves you the way they appear to, then, step one. 1) For God sakes tell them what is bothering you! 2) Give them the knowledge to take the steps to change it. 3) Be patient and remind them if you have to 4) If all else fails, then at least you know YOU tried, and perhaps it is time to move on. Great posts everyone, and thank you. I guess we will know if I solved my problem in a few. Provided I’m not back in a month looking for more advice. LOL

  100. I also have a dilemma…I met my current boyfriend through mutual friends and we started to hang out. We realized we had a connection and we became more than friends. He goes to another school and some friends I have from that school have been telling me that he’s a complete jerk. He’s rude, annoying, and has done some pretty bad things to his friends. I don’t want to date a guy who is rude or who is disrespectful, and I want to call it off, but we only just started to go out, and if I call it off now, it’ll seem that I’ve been leading him on. I don’t know what to do, please help!

    • I think you should tell him about what you have heard and let him tell you his version of the story. If you still want to break up with him, tell him how you feel, and tell him the truth. Good luck!

  101. My boyfriend is lovely and sweet but i don’t really love him… I just don’t feel the flutteriness you get when you love someone. And to make things worse, I’ve got feelings again for my ex, who hates me. I really don’t want to break my boyfriends heart because he’s just so nice and cute but I’m just not feeling it. How can I break up with him but still be friends without making him too sad? And what can I do about my ex?

  102. so i ve been going out with my bf ‘J’ for about a month now,and believe me, he s a great guy and all, but he s way more into me than i am in him. i ve known him for many years, amd i dont want to break his heart; well, not too badly anyway. he says he loves me, and that he s glad im here bcause everyone he loves is gone ; hjs brother is at war, and his last two girlfriends dumped him, hard. the second one was cheating on him with his best friend. anyway, i need to break up with him, but i dont want to seem like the ‘bad guy’ in this situation. the worst part is that he s had a crush on me for a really long time. like i said, i dont want to hurt him. i see him alot at school, so i coukd tell him there, but frankly, i dont hav the courage. would calling him be better than IMing him? he s my first boyfriend, but he s just not what i m looking for. pleaz help, i dont want him to hate me forever. plez hel
    sincerely, maddy </3

    • I’m kind of in the same situation. You could call your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. He would probably understand. Just tell him how it’s making you feel and ask him to be just friends instead. That might help a bit.

  103. My boyfriend and I used to be best friends and I found out he really liked me since the start of high school. He asked me out and I said yes. My only problem now is that I have so much work to focus on, and the fact that I am 15 and he’s already tried getting in pants. I truly like him but its really awkward because I’m starting to get that brotherly vibe. If I break up with him it’s gonna be really awkward because I am going on a week long trip to China with him and my mates with school. What do I do? HELP PLEASE!

  104. I have been together with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. We met on vacation, and he lives in another country, so it’s a long distance relationship. It’s expensive to visit each other, so we can’t meet so often.
    Last time he visited me, I realized that I think he is annoying, and I feel like I don’t have so strong feelings for him anymore. I still love him, though. A part of me wants to break up with him, but I also want to be with him.
    We have so many memories together, and I don’t want to let go of them.
    He is really sweet and he is the nicest guy I have ever met, so I don’t want to break his heart. I think that if I break up with him, he will be really hurt because he is very sensitive, much more than me. The last thing I want is to hurt him.
    He also gave me a very expensive gift for Christmas, and he spent a lot of money on coming to visit me, so I would feel very guilty if I broke up with him now.
    I think I will do it, but I don’t know how. Not by text, that’s just mean. Maybe over Skype, I don’t want to travel all the way there just to break up with him. How do you think I should do it? Please help me!

    • Look, honestly I think that you have to give it one more chance; travel to him and spend a couple of days together, then decide. If you didn’t feel into him and you still wanna dump him, then tell him while you’re there and tell him that you came just to give it one more try, and that you may hurt him more if you lied and didn’t tell him the truth. Most importantly, make it face to face, not over skype or even by texting, face to face is the only merciful way.

  105. I need help. We’ve been dating for over a year, but I’m losing my feelings for him. He’s really sweet, and I don’t want to break his heart. I once tried to break up with him ( I didn’t do it face to face which was kind of pathetic) but he just said he would try to be better. I decided to forgive him and give him a second chance, but that wasn’t what I wanted.
    This relationship has also been taking up my time for school, and I really am planning to try and get my grades up. I feel really guilty for pretending, and I’m tired of it. Another problem is that I’m extremely pathetic because I can’t do it face to face. I don’t want to do it by email, facebook, or texting either because I know it’s wrong. I have to admit, I have serious anxiety problems which is making this all worse. I’m terrified that people are going to be mad at me for breaking up with him. I just can’t do it anymore. All this stress has piled up so much, I began serious bad habits such as pulling out my hair. I just don’t want to break his heart. After all the nice things he said, and gave me….. It’s just so hard. I really need help! I don’t know what to do, but I know what is right, it’s just that I can’t do this. But if I don’t do anything, it’s all going to get worse. I need advice please. If anyone could help me, I would really appreciate it. Please, no hateful replies. I’m just asking for help.

    • I’m in the same situation right now. But however, you really do need to tell him about your break up decision face to face, practice it in front of the mirror, or with a friend, anything but just make it face to face. Also, think about it again, so when you tell him you won’t hesitate or regret it. Also, do not be surprising, I mean do not tell him i love you soo much then the next day tell him you’ll break up, stay like 2 or 3 weeks fading out of the relationship, don’t call much as much as you can and so. So, when you tell him he would have already felt less attached to the relationship. It’s normal that he would feel hurt and it’s not your fault in any way so don’t feel guilty. Also, try to be nice, tell him I don’t wanna lose you so you choose if it’s going to be better for you not to talk anymore or to stay friends? and depending on his answer you decide.
      Hope I helped..

  106. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but i’ve moved away and we’re currently ling distance. I broke up with him in september but we got back together. But now i don’t have the same feelings for him,even though i care for him a lot. I met a guy while dating my boyfriend, and i really like him now. Any ideas on what i could tell him so i don’t hurt him as badly?

  107. I will try all the tips. Hope this can make me break up with him.

  108. Ik it’s really early in the relationship (3 days) but I want to break up with my boyfriend. He had a crush on me for 3 months ish and my friends convinced him to ask me out. So he did an then.. Gave me a high five… We’ve been close friends since he’s on my swim team but now I feel awkward talking to him and he is awkward about it too. I realized that I don’t like him and that I never liked him more than a friend, I also realized I am no over someone else. I feel horrible, I am just leading him on that I like him but I don’t and he’s really sweet and innocent and would probably break down or cry if I du led him. He told my friend “just give it a week, ill bet she’ll break up with me.” I feel awful but I don’t want to be miserable just for someone else’s happiness.

  109. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years now and recently I have just completely lost interest, things have started to get major serious and I seem to have got myself into a situation that I just can’t get out of. He makes me cringe all the time and acts like a female. It’s like he’s changed all of a sudden and I can’t cope with it. I don’t love him anymore. Everything he does annoys me. The way he breathes, the things he says and does. Just everything. I need to break up with him but I don’t know how to without him using valentines day against me because we really made an effort but I felt like I had to get him expensive gifts because he was getting me them. The last time I tried breaking up with him he brought the fact that he takes me out for dinner and stuff against me. I really need help with this.

  110. so i broke up with my boyfriend a couple months back but he asked me out again and i said yes bcuz i felt bad for him. he knows that i m not really into him anymore but he pretends not to notice and just goes on with it. i really dont want to break up with him again bcuz he s the nicest guy you’d ever meet and he actually cares about me unlike some idiots at skool… thts besides the point. anyway he s really nice but i just dont like him anymore. my friends hate him too. i need to break up with him again but i dont know how to do it nicely. i see him alot at school so i cant be too mean… it doesnt help me with the fact that i like this other kid at school. should i keep up the act, or should i stop trying and let it go? pleaze help me.
    ~maddi~ p.s. we’re 13 years old and we’ll be going to highschool together soon so it’s not like i can leave the school and be done with it. pleaze help. ~m~

  111. I am only 16 years old, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for around 7 months. At first I really thought I liked him, but the our relationship began moving way to fast. He tells me he loves me all the time, and I say it back, but I don’t think I really mean it. I mean, I’m 16 years old, I don’t know what love is, and I’m not sure I really want to be in love right now. Plus, he is extremely clingy. He thinks we need to be together every possible second of every day, and it drives me crazy, I mean I need some space to breathe. Plus he is way to touchy-feely for my liking. He’s always trying to touch all over and cuddle when were sitting on the couch watching T.V. right in front of my parents. Bottom line is, I think I went into this relationship unprepared for what I was getting into, and I want out. Plus, I kind of like this other guy. The problem with this relationship is that my dad and his dad are best friends, so both of our families are really close. I don’t know how I could break up with him without causing tension for our families, and I don’t want my dad to lose his best friend because of me. Also, I’m afraid it will be really awkward because our families do stuff together all the time, so I will still have to see him a lot. Could somebody please give me advice on how to handle this breakup?

  112. okay but what if the guy you want to break up with has already said that he loves you and wants to marry you and its only been a week and you are just not ready for that kind of comentment. also what if your still so caught up in your ex that you have dated in the past and just needed a break from him. if you want to break up with the guy that you are still with at this moment and you dont want to hurt him how should you say it to him???

  113. Ally Daniel says:

    Hey , I’m 13 and I’m in my first relationship my boyfriend and I have been going out for a month. But I have never really found that I like him that much. I think i want to break up with him but I have never done this before so I have no idea how please help!!

  114. I started dating a guy this last summer and we did long distance for about 5 months. Once I got to the same school as him, I started feeling that I didn’t like him as much anymore. He has bought me really nice presents, has invited to his family’s home on breaks, and has just been a total gentleman. My problem is that I just know that I don’t want to marry him and that I don’t want to be with him anymore. I totally woke up one morning and felt empty inside. I want to be single and free so badly. It’s really really hard though because we have been dating for 9 months now and he was my first kiss. I simply don’t know how to tell him. I tried once, and said I didn’t see us together in the future, but he convinced me to stay with him. But I still feel the same way. We have all the same friends and all the same classes together. I just don’t know how to do this. :( Any advice would be so much help!

    • TNgirl,
      I know what you are going through, i was in a very similar situation, except i was in “his” place. We were dating for 10.5 months and i thought he was the love of my life. Kyle (the boy i was dating) broke up with me over text message. i was devastated. I ignored him because he ignored me. So here is my advice….. You need to break up with him, its not a good relationship if you’re not happy too. Be honest about your feelings, thats the best thing you can do. Make sure it is Face-to-Face. Try to still be friends, Kyle and i are really good friends now and i consider him a best friend. Also, don’t date anyone else for a couple months, odds are he is still trying to get over you. I’m not saying you can’t still have fun, but try not to shove anything in his face.

  115. i just wanted to break up with my boyfriend, and i’m a really anxious person so it cost me alot of time to prepare. Then at all of the sudden, he bought tickets for a concert for my birthday somewhere around may. he is my first boyfriend and i don’t know what to do, help ?

  116. CanMyHeartEverBeOkay.....? says:

    My boyfriend loves me dearly, at least I think, and he is way too nice and innocent for me to hurt him. But, I am bi and transgender, and I am trying to come across as a guy since I am a guy sub-consciously. I told him yesterday and he didn’t really say anything back to me and we didn’t get to talk after that cause he kind of avoided me. I can say I loved him, but I just don’t really feel much for him anymore, maybe it’s because I am going through a lot right now, I just don’t know. Today the whole grade went outside and he was trying to walk with me but like an idiot I sort of pushed him away. I told the truth saying I just wanted to walk alone, cause I was feeling a bit sick and unhappy. Then he came to see me when I was “dying” in the heat with my friend and she asked him “If we were to pass out would you carry me?” He said no to her… She said “would you carry Zoe?” He said no again…. Then Taylor (the friend asking the questions) asked him if he would carry me and he said yes to that….. and so now I feel so bad because I don’t want to hurt him or anything but I just don’t feel right with him anymore. And, like I said, I am bi and transgender, and as far as I know Jewel (my boyfriend) is straight and so that would be bit awkward when I made my transition. I don’t know what to do, I just want a break from me and him, but if I said that, everyone would think I was such a mean person and I would hate myself for hurting him and being a bad person (I suffer from depression and I do cut sometimes) So, if you got any idea to help me out please share them with me!

  117. My name is mrs Ella,i live in Australia,its been six months now,since i broke up with my girlfriend,we had a very big problem that was beyond our control,i came to find out that she was having an affair with another guy,so she stayed away from me,after much begging and apologies,she refuse to come back to me.i tried all i could to make her believe that i still love her,but she said it was over between us.so i discussed it with a very good friend of mine,who advice me on what to do,He told me that the only way that i can get her back is to visit a spell caster.and the name of the spell caster is “worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com” So i have always heard about that,but never have the believe.so i was forced to really visit the same spell caster who assured me that i will get my girlfriend back after two days of his spell casting.and he told me to believed that every thing will definitely be fine once he is through with his work.So that was how he cast the spell and two days after,i was so surprise to see the girl that i haven’t seen for good six months coming back to my house,and begging for forgiveness. So that was how we both lived a happy life,and till today,our relationship is now stronger than how it were before.Thanks to the “worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com” for helping me,in bringing back my girl friend +2348065147905

  118. Right now I’m wanting to break up with my boyfriend and I don’t know how and i like another guy who likes me too but he’s not the reason I’m breaking up with my boyfriend i need some advice on breaking up with him cuz he’s always telling me not to do something that might have me end up getting hurt but almost everything i do has that risk and there are also other reasons but that’s the main one in my opinion

  119. Hi! Well im in 7th grade and this us my first relationship. The guy i am dating is always really nice to me, but I fell that our conversations were more fun when we were just friends.

  120. Hi! Well im in 7th grade and this us my first relationship. The guy i am dating is always really nice to me, but I fell that our conversations were more fun when we were just friends. He is always complementing me and i dont know When to do It. Any advice would be great. My friends that are Also friends with him tell me that he is always talking about how great i am. That just makes me feel more guilty! We just started out as friends but 2 months into our friendship he Asked me out. I Said yes and everything went well. Now, 2 months into our relationship I see that we shouldve been just friends. Since i am in 7th and he is in 8th we almost never talk. So our Relationship is practiaclly via txt. Does tht still make it mean if its over a txt? Help!

  121. I am in 7th grade and i am in my first relationship. The guy im dating is always really nice, But sometimes our convis get boring with all the hearts And stuff. I want a relationship where i can joke around. He is always complementing me and i dont know When to do It. Any advice would be great. My friends that are Also friends with him tell me that he is always talking about how great i am. That just makes me feel more guilty! We just started out as friends but 2 months into our friendship he Asked me out. I Said yes and everything went well. Now, 2 months into our relationship I see that we shouldve been just friends. Since i am in 7th and he is in 8th we almost never talk. So our Relationship is practiaclly via txt. Does tht still make it mean if its over a txt? Help!

  122. You are so right about not leaving any open doors. Being dumped does make people grasp any lingering hope they can see. It may feel like you are doing the right thing at the time to stay friends but really its not a good idea.

  123. Hannah Abadeer says:

    Geez this is so so hard :( it isn’t easy cuz he is a good bf but he is soooooo clingy!!!but i’ll try do it! :)

  124. I hate breakups! Someone always ends up sad! I’ve never actually broken up with anyone, they’ve always dumped me… But I really like being a single pringle and just having silly little crushes. Ya just need to enjoy life and not worry about relationships and stuff! But I really want to break up with this guy that “asked me out” but I know the pain it causes so I don’t know what to do, thanks for your advice though

  125. Okay, I have only gone one one date with this guy a month or so ago, and afterwards- we still talked- but we didn’t plan to do anything else, since the first date was SUPER awkward. Well, now he asked me out again, and I really lost interest in him, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and I’d also like to still be friends…

    Simply: Is there any way I can gently break it to him that I don’t want to date him without also breaking our great friendship?
    (Note: We both just started high school as freshman. As a 14 year old, I just don’t feel ready to be in a serious relationship…)

    Please answer.
    Thank you!

  126. Ive been dating this guy for almost 2 years, and honestly dont like him anymore. everything he does gets on my nerves, and im starting to hate his personality. he spends too much time golfing, and playing minecraft, and obsesses over them. last year i felt like he had a crush on someone else, and i was so close to breaking up with him. the problem is, i only see him 20 minutes before school and 20 minutes after, and we never go on dates anymore, and because we are freshman we cant drive. also, the group we hang out with before and after school are a mixture of my friends and his friends, and i dont want to lose any of our friends because ive gotten to know them and enjoy being in their company. how can i break up with him if i dont have any time or place to do it. i want our break up to be short and simple, to the point, so i cant go on a date or else we will both be waiting for our parents to pick us up, and i would be so awkward, and i just want to get it over with. what would be the best time, place and things to say for my breakup????

  127. I met my bf in high school but now we are in different colleges and we live far away from each other…i still like him a lot though but i don’t think i like him the way i used to do before and i don’t see much of him and we only talk on facebook or on phone(once in a while). He uses the little time we talk to tell me how much he still loves me and all but there is this other guy that is his friend and we are in the same college and i like him a lot and he keeps asking if i’m still dating my bf because he doesn’t wanna betray his friend but i told we are not dating so he won’t get scared off but i still need to break up with my boyfriend before leading this guy on…what do i do????

  128. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about two- two and a half months. We were friends for a few weeks before we started dating and I thought it was a good idea since he was a nice guy and I had developed a crush on him. I’m a freshman and he’s a sophomore but he acts like such a little kid! He is incredibly clingy. He has to be touching me constantly. Its not inappropriate though, just always hugging or a hand on my waist. But it is a problem for me because I do not like constant contact and he knows this. I am also not a very romantic girl.( I know this probly sounds pathetic but I’ve yet to have my fist kiss.) I have told him many many times. Then we are always ” talking to make our relationship better” when we talk about the same things as always( my problems with the constant contact and lack of interest of cuddling or romance ). It doesn’t improve anything. And he has sever jealously problems! He gets jealous when I hug my mom or play with my dogs when he’s over and pouts. But when I confront him about it he makes me feel inadequate because ” all he needs is more attention” he is over all the time. Sits with me at lunch. Walks me to my classes and texts and calls all the time. But when we get into arguments he always says that he has this ” feeling” that it will all work out if he’s patient. I used to like him… but I cannot stand this anymore! I have talked to my friends( which he throws fits about… yes literly throws fits) and my mom and they all say to just end it. But I don’t know how to exactly… please help!

  129. Im in highschool, and y’know the saying “don’t date in highschool” ? yeah, i get it now.
    i have been with my boyfriend for about 2 weeks and im already not wanting to be with him anymore… he always invites me over to his house, is trying to invite me to all the holliday parties his family is having, he always wants to hang out :/ im really flustered by it. i also realized i am very shallow apparently, i just cant feel attracted to him, our relationship seems fine whenever we are talking over facebook and text, but in person its like i dont even like him, he is a bigger guy and im just not that into that, i cant even houg him properly or cuddle him, hes not the soft kinda fat. i hate how shallow i am in that regards, it makes me feel like a bitch for not likeing him. i am also in love with my best freind so it kinda makes it worse cus when the three of us hang out im always sitting closer to my best freind than to my boyfriend. i think i only said yes to dateing him because noo ne else wants to date me and i am tired of being like, the only single person in my group of friends. i am scared to break up with my bf because he is on antidepressants and he cries really easily (crying is one of my biggest turn offs) he wants me to meet his grandma who has vascualr dimentis as well because she is always asking if he has a gf yet…he told me all his gfs have dumped him after 3 months for no reason. i feel so trapped here! im not attracted to him, but i cant dump him, and he always wants to kiss me and touch me and stuff! i dont know what to do!!! please random internet people, help me!

  130. I was married for 8years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about Prophet Osaze from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Prophet Osaze for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address:spirituallove@hotmail. com

  131. thedevilyouknow says:

    And more to the point- you want to do it mercifully? One stab to the heart is the lesser evil than a thousand tiny cuts. That is mercy.

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