An Affair To Remember…Or Is It?

So the other day I went to the movie theater down the street to watch ‘He’s Just Not That Into You‘.

Now I’d recommend it to every sap in search of a good romantic comedy – how can you go wrong with something that was inspired by an episode of ‘Sex and The City’? – but while a part of me was enjoying the giddiness that comes with movies of this particular genre, I couldn’t ignore the one obvious spoiler of the whole film; SCARLETT JOHANSSON.

Before somebody blows a fuse, let me just clarify that I am referring to her character – a hot, blonde, bombshell of a singer who puts the moves on a married man.

Now I don’t mind the actress, but it really gets my goat when I hear of women who work against their own kind. Spoken by someone with a stepmother who was well-aware of my parents’ marriage, there are very few cases I think are only acceptable in terms of mistresses. I know there are a lot of justifications out there, but in my opinion, what gives anyone the right to rob someone of their happiness, even it’s for the sake of ours? Even if it means securing your happily ever after, how can you be sure that you’re not stealing someone else’s as well?

If you find that you’re getting yourself involved with a man who’s spoken for, heed the warning signs and put an end to it a.s.a.p. As much as we hear of people finding themselves in that situation and still living happily ever after, take note:

‘You are NOT the exception, you ARE the rule.’ (He’s Just Not That Into You, 2009)

Men who try and make it happen with you might not be as sincere as they might seem. In most cases, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak, as I’ve seen in countless scenes on TV and in the movies – sometimes, they’re a lot more like reality than you might think.

If he could do that to her, what makes you think that’s not going to happen to you?

Sometimes, it’s not a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Sometimes, it becomes a habit, and a couple of years down the line, you could find yourself being cheated on as well. And in the possibility of love, don’t fool yourself by believing that it’s different this time, especially if this has happened before. While we’d like to believe we’re special, we only have so much control over another person’s actions.

You know he’s a good liar – is that really the kind of person you see yourself in a relationship with?

As good as it feels to be the other side of the fence, you’re not assured of your position there, and as much as you think you’ll never find yourself being the one being  lied to instead, in the throes of love and passion, you really can’t be too sure. The woman before you probably thought the same thing. The thing is, you can hardly ever tell how good a liar is, so save yourself the possibly inevitable grief.

As impossible as it is for you to find love, it is probably just as difficult for somebody else.

Some people are lucky enough to have found love they can live with for the rest of their years. It can seem like a journey of too many challenges, but better than that succumbing to the shortcut and stealing from someone else. While the prospects for your happiness may seem bright, going along with the relationship only makes you selfish, and how could you be happy, really, knowing that you have blown another person’s chances at it?

And in the case of married men, take note; they never leave their wives. As fun as a weekend in the sack might be, it’s a lot to hope for when you’re hoping for someone to leave a person they’ve been with a lot longer. A shot at true happiness is not supposed to be easy, nor is it supposed to just fall into our laps – it takes hard-work, dedication, and an insane type of integrity. What are the odds of finding that in a mistress – or a married man, for that matter?

How do you feel about affairs?

Do enjoy the music video by Maroon 5 – She Will Be Loved. :)

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  1. i think sometimes affairs happened because as a person its our natural instinct to search for happiness..its not a good thing but its a way for us to survive i guess…

    but saying that,there are also affairs just for the fun of it…

    TipsGoda’s last blog post..How to Kiss The Right Way? Understanding Why We Kiss And 15 Tips to Make a Perfect Memorable Kiss

  2. That’s what bothers me.. isn’t what separates us from other animals the ability to be a little more decent about it? If people know that they’re going to cheat – the excuse “it just happens” only holds up a certain number of times – save someone else the grief and put an end to one relationship before starting another one.
    Don’t pretend you’re caring for someone else when you’re juggling two people at the same time. It’s just downright selfish.

    But hey, there probably is a reason for everything…

    Anya’s last blog post..FLASH.

  3. Hi there, I have to say that I really agree with Anya on the animals and humans part. If you want to have a relationship with another person or just plain old sex, maybe it’s time you broke it off with the person you’re with at the moment. Shouldn’t the fact that you are now contemplating infidelity that would obviously cause heartbreak for your spouse be a sign that things aren’t working? :)


    • Thanks for the comment! :)

      It’s difficult for people to come to terms with the fact that the relationship isn’t working out, but nobody said getting into one was easy. On top of that, generating an affair is the cowardly route to happiness, and it’s a lot more fleeting than a lot of people might think.

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Anya’s last blog post..FLASH.

  4. bingbongalong says:

    affairs sucks

  5. bingbongalong says:

    ladies and gentleman please do not appaul the idea of an affair. These days, affairs are portrayed to be unacceptable in today’s society. There are many people today in a relationship who are not happy with their partner but still carry on with their relationship to not hurt their feelings. Speaking so, the other partner who’s not satisfied/alright with the other partner would go searching for another partner. This ladies and gentleman, is the persuit to happiness.

    Today in our modern society, our human cerebral system are already programmed to identify and recognize the case of an affair as a bad act. However, some singer once said ” Listen To Your Heart” so therefore, we cannot judge the character of individuals by wondering if he had an affair or in modern slang, “cheat on” someone else.

    That aside, you did mention something about the partner being a good liar. Why do people see this as a bad thing? especially an affair situation, doesn’t matter if it was a family, relationship, foreign or internal situation. If your partner lies to you, is that not a good thing because he/she would know that it would hurt you. Furthermore, your partner would not want to lose you which means that they still have a large segment of affection in their heart for you.

    I think this is a well and written article because i can really relate to this. This situation has happened to me before and i felt the exact same way. My conclusion is this, Don’t hate the player, hate the game :)

    • Haha! Pretty lengthy comment. :)
      I appreciate the different take on the topic.

      I suppose there’s some truth to all that. Nobody condemns the idea of a hedonistic lifestyle so why should affairs be marked off so badly? Surely nobody’s out to hurt anyone on purpose, and just because they’re looking out for themselves doesn’t mean they’re any less a person than the other party.

      It might all boil down to how much someone values their own happiness to the risk of their partner finding out. Sure, in this sense, being a good liar isn’t a bad thing because your partner’s disappointment/sadness/whatever else negative reaction depends on your capabilities to pull this off.

      On that note, you’re right. We didn’t make the rules.
      Thanks for dropping by! :D

      Anya’s last blog post..FLASH.

  6. hey,

    this is a pretty good article i reckon.I can actually relate to what the writer has put on as i too felt the same way after watching the movie his just not that into you.However I feel us guys are actually the victims of every relationship as it is the girls or ladies who actually seduces us.So its not our fault if we cheat or anything seeing that it is your own kind that seduces us into doing such a thing.I mean yea cheating is bad but hey its because of girls we cheat.Guys has always been taking the blame for cheating and all but if the girl didnt seduce us then why on earth would we cheat.haha.I think I better end it here coz Im not sure of what im saying already.

    good article though,

    • Hi Jayjays!

      Thanks for the compliment.
      You make a very good point – women can be just as, if not more predatory than the other sex. Personally, I find girls like that can be a pain because we should be looking out for our own kind, but at the same time, it’s not like these women were the ones who promised fidelity.

      A relationship involves two people, and both of them are responsible for keeping external influences at bay. Of course it’s difficult to decline when someone new and exciting throws themselves at someone, but that just tests the strength of a relationship.

      That said though, I still think you made a very good point. It’s not easy turning someone down!

      Anya’s last blog post..FLASH.

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