Breaking All The Rules

Even with the tips on 8 Gentle Ways To Break Up With A Guy, it can be rough getting over a break-up for guys (and girls, too).

In The Break-Up, while in the verge of breaking up, Gary (Vince Vaughn) and Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) were not willing to give up the condo they co-own.

But surpassing the drama of dividing physical possessions, emotion is the hardest to surrender after a break-up.

Courtesy of the movie - The Break-Up

Courtesy of the movie "The Break-Up"

Whether the break-up was a complete shock or long in the making, chances are you are now feeling less-than-great about it.  And maybe your mind may be flooded with pretty strange thoughts:

Should I call him?

Should I text her?

Should I find someone new?

All logical questions to entertain during this heart-wrenching phase; many make significant mistakes after a break-up that prolong their pain and suffering.  Follow these break-up rules to help you find peace with the end of your relationship.

1. I can’t help it, I want to see you!

In the advertising industry, we always say out of sight, out of mind… however, it is true enough to be crucial in helping you get over past relationships.  Remove anything and everything that could bring up the unpleasantly sweet memories, including photos, letters and gifts.  Although their number and email may have already etched in your memory brain-bank, delete them from your cellphone and email contact list.  The key is to move on as fast as you can, and with fewer memory reminders, it definitely helps a lot.

2. Can we still be friends?

There’s no extreme need to categorise the ex under your enemy list.  You just do not need to keep in touch until you can handle it. Acceptance is the very first step after a break-up – accept that your relationship is over.  Without this acceptance and realisation, you will be hard pressed to move on.  Give yourself some time to lament and rant, then learn to get to know yourself as a single individual and what makes your happy again.  Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain because each encounter with your ex reminds you of the bitter sweet, which will be much harder for you to let go and move on later.

3. You are my everything!

In Twilight written by Stephenie Meyer, Edward Cullen told Bella Swan that “… you are my life now.”  But truly, your life is not about the other person, your life is all about you.  For the newly single people, you may feel aimless and alone, here’s my word to you… You are the life now! Get a new goal or engage a new adventure or challenge.  Having a purpose can snap you out of your woe-is-me mindset, and give you more reasons to look forward for a new morning every day.  Now, why don’t trade remorseful thoughts for a bright cheery day?

4. What’s the point of living?

During a particular difficult break-up, some people may not be able to manage the basic human needs – food, sleep and protection.  Although this behaviour is understandable, it is definitely not acceptable. Keep your mind open and talk to your friends, family, or a counsellor and let them help you through the confusing (or heart-aching) phase.  It would be worthless and foolish to give up your life for someone who clearly does not deserve it.

5. I just want to rot in bed…

What’s better time than now to go on a journey to a place you’ve always wanted to visit, whether it’s away from the hustle bustle into the countryside or a lavish spa getaway on the beach.  A change of surroundings may just lift up your spirits to help you refocus on the things that are more important to you in life.  During this time, you may not be your own best friend… so ask for help.  Bring along a listener friend, who may give you a little extra support to walk you through the rough times.

6. I’m so lonely…

Many would consider break-up as a bummer!  But let’s be honest here, don’t you think you are much better off being free if it wasn’t meant to be? Rather than prolonging the relationship for a much harder break-up later on.  Get in touch with someone you may have neglected lately – your sisters, brothers, parents or an old-school close friend for some quality bonding.  Call for a dinner party with your friends and have an “I’m Single!” celebration.  If you can keep your feet on the ground, you have a better chance of being swept of your feet, and you’ll soon be in love once again.

Have you overcome a rough break-up?  Or do you have other advice on what the lovelorn should and shouldn’t do?  Feel free to share some break-up rules with us…  :)

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  1. hi… great topic! Let me share a bit of my experience… I once broke up with my ex many many years ago. But somehow or rather, we still get back together after few months… hahaha. Funny huh? To me, it’s easier to do a break up rather than pathing it back together… well, that’s just me. Happy reading and great topic!!!

    • Wow… easier to break up *gulp*
      It’s painful to be dump and it’s ‘painful’ knowing we’ll hurt the other person. You gotta be a very strong person, Ken! *high five*
      Do you mind to share why is it easier to break up, for you personally?

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

  2. Absolutely agreed “your life is all about you’, no one live for anyone, no matters how painful or how much you unwilling to let go, that’s life experiences. It’s one of the process to help you grow up, at the same time remind you not to repeat the same mistakes in the future. “Although this behaviour is understandable, it is definitely not acceptable”,understandable only for short terms, people around you will help you get up and become a new leaf. However, it is not acceptable to live in the past, a person who live in the past definitely has the darkest future than everyone else. All in all, personally believe, time will get you through your pain and lost, “times” is an abstract thing, but always can be the best healing witness ever….

    • Glad to hear from you, Agnes. Many people need constant reminder to ‘grow up’. Many lovers give up everything(including themselves) when they are in love. But the truth is, the world is very selfish although we try to share as much love as we can, there will be people who will take us for granted (not all, of course).

      Agnes, I wish you more love everyday *hugs*

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

  3. Unfortunately, I’ve been through all this…I’ve broke up with my ex-boyfriend when we couldn’t find anymore a language to communicate… Fights everyday, feeling of being neglected or even abandoned helped a lot to make this hard decision especially if you are living already with the person. We decided to become friends. Talked on the phone, visited each other… And then suddenly we were togetehr again… And that was a mistake… Cause if you once had an unstable feeling, feeling of insecurity, it’s a first signal that things must change. It was very painful after breaking up when you heard from the person you was together with for so long so many unpleasant things. Only when I got rid of all possible traces of his presence, forgot about everything that has happened and is connected with him, deleted all memories from the past… Only then I was free and realized that however it was hard, it’s better now! After all, if you are able to remove him/her from your life – doesn’t it show that there’s someone else waiting for you out there? Someone who is really cut out just for you? I’ve found that person… And will keep everything connected with him for life :) Have faith in Love everyone!! :D

    • Wow, Alicja… what a journey in love huh? What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. And I believe with each relationship, we learn and be a little smarter and wiser in handling the next relationship. Love is such an amazing journey that no matter who we end up spending our lives with, the most important is the experiences and lessons we learnt along the way. Cheers, girl!

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

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