Flirt Up The Game

In every battle, game and race, there are strategies for defense and offense. Likewise, flirting is one of the many strategies in relationships that can cook up something ‘hot and spicy’ or otherwise.

In the flirting game, you either cast flirt charms on others or you are charmed. Some flirt for sex, some for the thrill of it, and others flirt just to be friendly for different opportunities. If you play the game well, Cupid may strike… but if it doesn’t work out, look at the bright side – you could meet someone who might introduce you to your ‘soul mate’.

While this may be able to help kick-start your flirting game, keep your options open and start practicing. Because practice makes perfect, boys.

She waltzed into the room and you found it hard to get your eyes off of her. Her beauty and elegance quickly took your breath away…

#1 Care about yourself first

First impression may be the only impression you can create. You don’t need fancy after-shaves… but simple take care of these few:

  • Hair (washed and well-styled)
  • Face (make sure it’s clean)
  • Body odour (sprit on some dashing perfume, but not too much)
  • Breath (you want to get close to her, right?)
  • Clothing (doesn’t need to be high fashion… you can pull it off with something neat and smart)

#2 Show off your personality

Great states and charisma are contagious because these characteristics spread good feelings and impressions. Cultivate a feel-good confidence so that people will love being around you as well. Be ready for the game and go for it… Most importantly, do not fake personality but be as true as you can.

#3 Tell the truth, shame the devil

Most women, if not all… want to know more about the players before continuing with the game. Also, be sincere in compliments because nothing is worse than a bunch of overblown lines.

I’d like to share a few compliments that swept me off my feet…

“Oh yes, I do remember you, with the nice lips.”

“Then you know who’s thinking of you most.”

“You are smart and lovely, sweetie.”

Physical attraction may be the most obvious, but everyone has something greater in them… take notice of that and compliment from your heart. Play the game with honesty and make an effort to get to know her before scoring the goal for a date.

#4 Respect, respect, respect!

Respect her as a person, respect her space and respect your image. Getting too close too fast, will make you look desperate and insensitive, which may push her further away from you. While some women are open to early touching, some may be terrified and you may risk ending the night alone. Keep a pleasant distance between both of you to make her feel comfortable with you. Be polite by moving closer slowly and take notice of her reactions – if welcomed, feel free to get closer, otherwise move back to remove the threat.

#5 Play a little hard-to-get

When you are too available for her, there is no chance for her to realise that she needs you. Speaking from a woman’s point of view, most women fall for men who are a little bit less available. So, keep your composure – don’t hover, don’t beg, don’t be desperate.

Man, like woman, is also special. So, give yourself a treat and a little bit more of credit. Always remember that you are extraordinary and know what you truly deserve.

Now, you walked into the room and instantaneously the corner of your eye caught a sight of him. You secretly wished he had noticed you too and would come up to you…

#1 Crystal signals

Ladies, I’m sure you would agree with me that men are bad at interpreting our gestures. So, make sure your signals are crystal clear, expressing what you really mean. You wouldn’t want him to confuse your ‘friendly’ flirting signals with ‘sexual’ flirting – you may well be inviting trouble for yourself. Men are human with feelings too… it is very selfish to flirt just for the fun of it (unless he is also flirty himself).

Hearts are fragile (yes, even men’s). So be kind and play a fair game with clear signals.

#2 Stand out

If you are expecting someone to approach you, be sure to stand out in the crowd. You can wear or carry something that turn heads and make you noticeable, but don’t go over the top (especially if it is not your party).

  • Glitzy dress (although the little black dress may be a safe choice)
  • Funky hairdo
  • Interesting ear rings
  • Red lipstick (only if it complement your lips)
  • Bright coloured bag

While these accessories draw attention to you, you might also want to stand out from the group so that you are more approachable. He may feel threaten about approaching you when you are protected by a herd of other women. Occasionally, move away from your group of friends to get a drink or powder your nose… no man wants to be rejected in front of a class of women.

#3 It’s not just all about you!

Be moderate talking about yourself, instead find out more about him. After all, people generally enjoy talking about themselves and you’ll make him feel flattered when you show an interest in him. Asking him what he enjoys doing in his life will allow you to find out more about what makes him tick. This also helps you screen whether you would exchange numbers with or go on a date with.

#4 Move first

I managed to ask a few guy-friends and they would love being approached by a woman. As we, women, fight for equality, maybe it is only fair that we do our share of making the first move as well. Consider this as a challenge, try it and you will be able to understand the thrill and chill that men have to go through when making the first move.

#5 Be gentle

If you are not interested, be polite and make it clear. Refuse someone in the way you would appreciate being turned down yourself… because what goes around comes around. It can be very difficult to draw up courage to approach a woman, with fear of rejection and embarrassment. So give him some credit for his guts, shake his hand and say:

“I’m sorry but I might have a girlfriend who would be interested in you.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone right for you, but I’m sorry I don’t think it’s me.”

Remember, even if this person is not your cup of tea, they may have friends who would be… or they may very well end up being your bestest friend!

These are just a few tips from our experiences (some girlfriends, guy-friends and myself). Do you have any tried-and-proven tips to play the flirting game better? We look forward to hearing about your experience, so feel free to share with us… :)

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  1. woooooooow…nice article and i like this blog, very interesting, keep it up Jamie…bravo!!!!!!!!!

  2. Hi Jamie,

    This is a great article from you again :D I totally agree with you about being honest and flirt with the right way no matter with him/her… Because as we know ( maybe some don’t ) If you tell one lie, you need to cover the lie with 10 lies which at the end would lead you to nowhere which is “game over ” . No matter in a one night relationship or long term relationship.. just be yourself no matter what you do, where you at or who you talk to…Never ever “try” to come out with something interesting or a joke just to make that someone notice you cause with a wrong first step.. you may turn the person off totally… Do what you feel like doing ( appropriate way of course :P ).. be yourself and just take things one step at a time.. Rushing and faking yourself are the biggest mistake to start anything in this world especially when you are approaching the opposite sex ;) Once again.. especially to all the youngsters out there.. never tell a lie cause with one lie you need to think of 10 more lies to cover the first lie :P Flirt with honesty and you will find someone who is really interested in you and appreciate you in and out :) Great article Jamie.. Take care.

    • JC, you are right. In any relationship, including friendship… we need to be honest. I like the way you said that we need 10 more lies to cover the first! One mistakes leading to many more mistakes.

      So, flirt your way with truthfulness and you’ll find the person who’s attracted to you… the way you are.

      jamie’s last blog post..two sides of a door

  3. interesting tips, it reflects how i realy feel, but didnt realise i’ve been acting so until i read this post. nice one!

  4. flirting is supposed to be sumthin fun… it’s not just about “hey, hottie” or “hello, can i buy u a drink”

    it’s more on the challenge of getting to know someone new. if we can remember, it is so easy to befriend a girl/guy when we were kids. but now, we need to try harder. sometimes, we just wanna be friends… but when we wanna befriend someone now, they’ll think we’re after them or wanna date them or wanna sleep with them. life has become so complicated… *sigh*

  5. Firstly, Jamie – another amazingly interesting article of yours! ;)
    Secondly – haha jothi!! You are right, life has become complicated nowadays when it comes to flirting. But I think it’s guys and girls who made up the flirting rules themselves. We live now in the world of so many horrible and stupid crimes, so many accidents when a young girl was raped or killed or both… Personally, it terrifies me how flirting has “developed” during past couple of years…

    When I was still a teenager, it was just a flirty look, smiles and nice chat which already made the flirt interesting, unfortunately now flirt usually ends up as a one-night-stand between underaged girls and adult men or even the other way round. Either the girl/boy are forced to have sex with a stranger or, even worse, they are willing to give their body to someone they do not now, just to satisfy their current need and lust. It may sound pesimistic, but that’s the way flirting looks like now. We need to be really careful if we decide to flirt.

    We need to think of many important factors- where are we, what environment we are in, what people we are with, is it appropriate and safe to start any conversation with strangers in the place we are etc… Having children myself in the future, I will make sure I teach them the right way how to deal with strangers, how to avoid dangerous situations and stay sound. For me myself, I am the kind of girl that rather stays quiet and waits for the Prince to come and get me himself than flirt with whoever I meet and hope someone will catch my bait :P But as I’ve found my prince already, I put all my flirting skills only into my relationship to keep the feelings burning all the time :P

    My advice for girls is, to keep their dignity and never let a stranger guy to force them to do anything they do not want. Better keep their virginity for the One and Only man who will appreciate you for who you are inside than look only on the outside ;) Better wait for them to make the first step, than regret in the future of loosing something so precious for someone who is not worth it…
    So girls, keep your heads up and be patient, cause there is someone who might flirt with you seriously and before you say FLIRT… You may be in Love :P

  6. Check out the book by Neil Strauss, The Game. It’s a killer! I can’t stop flipping the pages. Also jamie, thanks for sharing the point of view from a girl’s perspective… at least we know what makes a girl ticks… kudos!

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