Guys You Shouldn’t Date

I recently watched Twilight, a romantic-fantasy thriller, based on the series of vampire-based novels written by Stephenie Meyer.  It tells of the forbidden love between a vampire and mere human.

In Anya’s previous post of An Affair to Remember… or is it?, she wrote about forbidden love too, in terms of affairs.  So, besides a married guy, who else shouldn’t you date?

Consider this your road map for where you wouldn’t want to go in your love life.

1. Healing Guy

When a guy is in the process of healing from the last relationship that didn’t work out, he may be very tempted to hit on the next ‘hot’ girl who walks by.  Only gentlemen will kindly decline to save you from all the heart aches later on, because he ‘just cannot connect’ with you or simple because he is ‘not ready yet’.

As much as we would deny it, men do secretly hope they will never have to deal with their feelings and instead hoping that a new woman can brighten the gloom.  But girls, remember that guys who came out hot and fresh from the last relationship oven, they will always compare you to their ex – in every single way.  So it is wise to avoid dating the rebound guy after he has completely healed.

2. Missing-In-Action Guy

Have you heard of excuses like “work is overloading”, “it’s getting really busy these days” – although it may be true (sometimes), there is often something else going on.  Many years back, I dated this guy who already had a girlfriend.  And for three months, we had breakfast, went to movies in the afternoons, afternoon tea breaks… but never had dinner dates. *smells fishy, eh*

So, speaking from experience… you do not need to be tracking his every movement or whereabouts, when you start to date.  But, the giveaways is irregular contact – is he always available or accessible, and then suddenly MIA?  Does he always cancel plans?  Or does he suddenly call you up for lunch break or tea break, after not calling all week?

If so, beware!

3. Flashy Guy

Most of these kinda guys hide their insecurity behind in vogue stuffs – hot sporty car, latest advanced gadgets, high-tech cell phone, designer labelled fashion, expensive watch and the list goes on.  With their magazine-spread like lives, they will never let us get close – fearing we would suss them out and eventually, find their imperfection in their perfect world.

You will only wind up feeling rejected and ‘not good enough’ for him, when he was the one who is really not good enough.  Girls, I know we always dream of fairytale romance, but the guy who has a mountain of laundry and unmade bed – he is more real than magazine spreads.

4. Disrespectful Guy

Girls, he may try to explain with lines like “Oh, I’m so attracted to you that I can’t help it…”  These doesn’t give him the green light to such behaviours as hands on thighs, caressing parts that didn’t asked to be caressed, sexual innuendos when you barely know each other.  So, no matter how sizzlin’ hot you are, he can always help it.  And if he’s not showing the respect you expected early on, don’t be surprised that his manners continue to plunge worse later.

5. Before Guy

Sometimes, after long nights alone, thoughts of fear to be single forever can make going back to an ex seem impressively attractive.  I’ve naively been here twice, both during lonely times while struggling to rebound from the broken relationships.  Recycling romance seemed far easier than the unknown, and it was… that we rediscovered why we broke up in the first place (again).

What’s the lesson here?  Move on, not back.  And know that it is better to be out there looking than stuck on a couch with some guy you are just going to dump anyway. He might be happy, but girls, you deserve more… much more!

Although forbidden love can be very tempting and out of control at times, like Madonna sang it…  At other times, it is best to avoid all the unnecessary heart aches and disappointment.  Are there any other types of guys you’d like to warn us about – that can save us from all the pain and hurt?  Share your invaluable experiences and let’s keep our heads up!

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  1. Jamie,

    Great tips on guys you should not date… It is so important to understand which guys that you seeing or going after? As girl may hurt due to lack of understanding

    Rite? :)

    • Cupi Blogger, you are right. It’s good to know which guys we wanna spend the rest of our lives with. But girls being girls, we sometimes (or most times) get blinded by love and hit our head at the end of the relationship blockage. So, hope this little tips can help them be wiser when ‘shopping’ for guys…

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

  2. Most of the types of guys you have mentioned above Jamie, are so familiar to me… I have many girl friends who have told me about guys like this. Although they are done with their “ex”, got over it and assured you it’s all in the past, still there is a scar which will soon start growing in the girl’s heart. Another one, the “macho” type of guy you have noted, is the most common type of guys that I know. They always try to be on top, shine and sparkle in everyone else’s eyes and just be ‘the best’! They want to have a hot girlfriend who they can talk about with buddies and make them all jealous that they have one, and others can only dream about it. So what if he cares more about the fact of having sexy girlfriend than the girlfriend herself? That’s typical thinking of those brainless guys out there whose most abitious goal is just to show off. Sorry for being so sceptical, though from my experience I’ve met too many guys like this who’ve destroyed relationships with really valuable girls…
    The type of guys that bother me the most though, are “I’m the big man” ones… They work so hard to earn money for you, they help you to carry bags, sometimes will lift or move something for you, and according to them they are THE MAN! They will remind you on every possible occassion how generous they are, how much they are helping you, how hard working they are. But what about you? Isn’t it you who have 2 full time jobs? Isn’t it you who comes back from work and start second work, cooking and cleaning for your man? Isn’t it you who cares about all the house chores for your man so that he always looks tidy and decent? And finally, isn’t it you who does everything that he does not? Even though you answer yes on all those, still it is him who complains how tired he is, how hard the day was, how much he needs rest, how much he wants time for himself and just some space… And the thing that I hate the most is them saying “What?? Isn’t it your responsibility to do that? You were made for that, right?” Hearing that would make me kick his butt out of the door :P What about us? Where is our time? Why can’t we complain or just simply be tired? Cause “that’s what we were made for”… ? Why don’t we give them a mop in one hand, vacuum cleaner in other one, give them pans and shopping list and instructions on how to use the washing machine… How do you think girls, leaving them for a week like this… Will they survive…?? :P

    • Alicja, I know what you mean. The I-am-the-big-man type of guy usually are very egoistic and masochistic. They think marriage is the way the ‘tie down’ a woman and they think that women are ‘servants’. Although women are from the flesh of man, I believe women are still human with limited capabilities and they get tired too. It’s just that the men don’t see it because we don’t complain like they do… even though we are the ones who should love ‘complaints and gossips’. Today, men mostly complain about everything – work, economy, politics, social issues, food, wife, colleagues, boss and the list goes on and on. Maybe they ought to take on the ‘women’s responsibilities” now too… haha =)

      jamie’s last blog post..huh?!

  3. good information i think all the girls should read this before going out with any guy….

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