I recently watched Twilight, a romantic-fantasy thriller, based on the series of vampire-based novels written by Stephenie Meyer. It tells of the forbidden love between a vampire and mere human.
In Anya’s previous post of An Affair to Remember… or is it?, she wrote about forbidden love too, in terms of affairs. So, besides a married guy, who else shouldn’t you date?
Consider this your road map for where you wouldn’t want to go in your love life.
1. Healing Guy
When a guy is in the process of healing from the last relationship that didn’t work out, he may be very tempted to hit on the next ‘hot’ girl who walks by. Only gentlemen will kindly decline to save you from all the heart aches later on, because he ‘just cannot connect’ with you or simple because he is ‘not ready yet’.
As much as we would deny it, men do secretly hope they will never have to deal with their feelings and instead hoping that a new woman can brighten the gloom. But girls, remember that guys who came out hot and fresh from the last relationship oven, they will always compare you to their ex – in every single way. So it is wise to avoid dating the rebound guy after he has completely healed.
2. Missing-In-Action Guy
Have you heard of excuses like “work is overloading”, “it’s getting really busy these days” – although it may be true (sometimes), there is often something else going on. Many years back, I dated this guy who already had a girlfriend. And for three months, we had breakfast, went to movies in the afternoons, afternoon tea breaks… but never had dinner dates. *smells fishy, eh*
So, speaking from experience… you do not need to be tracking his every movement or whereabouts, when you start to date. But, the giveaways is irregular contact – is he always available or accessible, and then suddenly MIA? Does he always cancel plans? Or does he suddenly call you up for lunch break or tea break, after not calling all week?
If so, beware!
3. Flashy Guy
Most of these kinda guys hide their insecurity behind in vogue stuffs – hot sporty car, latest advanced gadgets, high-tech cell phone, designer labelled fashion, expensive watch and the list goes on. With their magazine-spread like lives, they will never let us get close – fearing we would suss them out and eventually, find their imperfection in their perfect world.
You will only wind up feeling rejected and ‘not good enough’ for him, when he was the one who is really not good enough. Girls, I know we always dream of fairytale romance, but the guy who has a mountain of laundry and unmade bed – he is more real than magazine spreads.
4. Disrespectful Guy
Girls, he may try to explain with lines like “Oh, I’m so attracted to you that I can’t help it…” These doesn’t give him the green light to such behaviours as hands on thighs, caressing parts that didn’t asked to be caressed, sexual innuendos when you barely know each other. So, no matter how sizzlin’ hot you are, he can always help it. And if he’s not showing the respect you expected early on, don’t be surprised that his manners continue to plunge worse later.
5. Before Guy
Sometimes, after long nights alone, thoughts of fear to be single forever can make going back to an ex seem impressively attractive. I’ve naively been here twice, both during lonely times while struggling to rebound from the broken relationships. Recycling romance seemed far easier than the unknown, and it was… that we rediscovered why we broke up in the first place (again).
What’s the lesson here? Move on, not back. And know that it is better to be out there looking than stuck on a couch with some guy you are just going to dump anyway. He might be happy, but girls, you deserve more… much more!
Although forbidden love can be very tempting and out of control at times, like Madonna sang it… At other times, it is best to avoid all the unnecessary heart aches and disappointment. Are there any other types of guys you’d like to warn us about – that can save us from all the pain and hurt? Share your invaluable experiences and let’s keep our heads up!
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