How To Identify Potential Dating Partners

Congratulations to the lot of you who are already dating, have a special someone, and are comfortable and happy with someone you consider your ‘significant other’. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, then you probably would have forgotten how difficult it was when you were single.

Dating can be tricky, and even more so if you find that you got stuck with someone you shouldn’t have picked up in the first place. To make matters worse, it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there these days, and picking up a random person isn’t as easy as they make it in today’s TV series.You’re probably well aware of date rape by now, so to make things easier, here are some things to consider before you head out the door for a good day of hunting.

I’m not saying that anybody you meet under these categories is a good idea; these are the groups of people who are, at most times, a safer bet than that idiot who rudely felt you up in the club.


Friends of Friends
Those who fall under this category are probably your best bet. Provided your mate doesn’t have any unresolved issues with you, they probably have a few good friends they’ve yet to introduce you to. Your friends probably know (or are able to unearth) important details, and should be able to fix something up for the sake of your non-existent love life. IF, in the scenario where you don’t hit it off, you can mark it off as a good time with your friend and keep on your merry way. Don’t, however, take your friends for granted and treat them like your own personal dating service.

People You Meet Through Hobbies and Recreational Activities
I used to be very involved in rock-climbing, and used to go at least three times a week. It was a great experience, but I enjoyed it ten-fold because of this guy I used to go and check out. I worked up the nerve to talk to him, was smitten for a while, but unfortunately, I couldn’t make heads or tails with our chemistry and I left Melbourne without ever knowing. We’re great friends now, though, and if I could fix him up with any one of my friends, I know she’d be very happy.

On that note, people you meet when you’re completely uninterested in searching and are too engrossed in something else are normally the most, well, normal. Start a conversation, grab a coffee somewhere, and see where it goes from there. Of course I’d advise to be on your toes at all times but there’s no harm in going for a drink with someone you know you have at least one thing in common with. If you find that you’re not interested, keep them at bay as a friend and make those boundaries crystal clear.

Gatherings and Dinner Parties
Normally, I wouldn’t recommend you meet people at parties (more on that in a later post), but if it’s nothing more than a nice dinner at a friend’s place (I don’t mean seedy serviced apartment), where the lights are on, there’s no pounding music to make conversation impossible, everybody’s only slightly buzzed on good wine and finger foods, and the atmosphere’s casual and light-hearted, then by all means, go forth and flirt! Reminiscent of my first suggestion, your friends wouldn’t (and if they did, shouldn’t) invite a psychopath to a party, and if this is anything like how it’s going on in my head, meeting someone shouldn’t be a problem.

If you’re about to complain that there aren’t enough of these gatherings nowadays, now would be the prime time to start. Round up a few friends and start planning. Steer clear of drugs and that sort of a thing, and keep it civilized, filled with decent conversations and company. Even if you don’t walk away with someone on your arm, it should make for a fine new experience, and hopefully, plenty more to come.

Finally (and this is just in my opinion – it’s open for debate if anyone’s interested), as awkward as this will come out sounding, consider a whole new group to explore. This has been the cause of a lot of conflict, or for some, is simply unheard of, but I’m standing my ground and keeping firm to it when I say that these rules you’re following are social norms, and you’re welcome to give it a shot if you’re prepared to break away from guidelines.

It’s going to be a long one, I warn you. I get real testy about this.

Your Ex’s Friends and/or Your Friend’s Ex’s
EVERYONE knows that you shouldn’t date your ex’s friends and/or your friend’s ex’s. Personally, I think it’s a load of bull, and everyone should be allowed to date anybody they wanted. Unless (and I couldn’t stress this enough) you’ve talked this out with your good friend or have a mutual understanding with your ex, then you’re allowed to roam free, and if you so happen to come across their seconds and are alright with it, by all means – go for it.

Think about it – vital information is accessible, they don’t technically belong to anyone, and you know that they’re good people (otherwise they wouldn’t be your ex’s friends or your friend’s ex). I’m not saying that it’s a great idea and you should pounce on it right away, but I am suggesting that it is an option.

Consider why your mate ended the relationship with him/her.

Consider why he/she doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that you’re a friend’s ex.

However, don’t put too much pressure on social rules, up to the point where it’s completely dictating your personal life. Be prepared for some scorn, but if this person lives up to your expectations and you believe that they’re worth a leap, go for it – mind you, I’m speaking for personal experience, and up until this point, I’ve turned out fine.

I’d be happy to hear from you, so tell me what you think, whether it be of my suggestions on people you meet in everyday situations for dates, anything I’ve left out (if you have any ideas yourself) and/or your take on the last bit of this article.

Happy hunting! :)

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  1. haha..i like the way you said ‘bfore you head out the door for a good day of hunting’…
    hehe.we are all just hunters in the dating world(in a good way that is)

    Theres no problem in dating your ex,but the it might gets complicated when one of you is hoping for a second shot at the relationship and the other one just wanna be friends and hang out together..

    thats how thing become nasty afterwards,not in all cases,but most of it..

    tipsgoda’s last blog post..Your Guy Is Acting Cold Towards You?

    • @tipsgoda,

      I’ve tried re-dating an Ex. It turned out awful, and until now, I wonder why we even bothered giving it another chance so soon when there was a reason we broke up in the first place.

      I’m glad you approve of the analogy! :)

      Anya’s last blog post..2902.

  2. ugly betty says:

    haih. love is yet sweet and sour. i thought guys used to think more simple unlike ladies that always go sensitive. no wonder sometimes i really wish to let it go. or may be he isnt as cool as i am, able to life it up and let it go, completely.

    sigh. sometimes the sweeteness isnt enough to put out the fire.

    • @ugly betty,

      Guys are a lot more complicated than we give them credit for.

      There’s that theory, or that they really ISN’T that much else beneath the surface and that’s too easy for girls to accept.

      Anya’s last blog post..2902.

  3. anya, i’m confused… the title says “how to identify potential dating partners” but your content is on “where we find potential dating partners”… am i correct? the title and what you write confuse me… i think dating shouldnt be as strenous us hunting. it should come naturally and willing between two people. but of course, if we really want her or him so badly, we can do a little hunting sometimes, but NOT all the time =P hehehee

    • @Jerry,

      Hey, I’m sorry for the confusion. I started off wanting to point out the kind of people we should be looking out for in terms of people we’d be interested it. Granted, some of the content highlights places, but the point of the article was to highlight kinds of people. That must have gotten lost in translation somewhere. Sorry! :)
      I’ll consider a change in title.

      Haha! I didn’t quite mean hunting so literally, but for a lot of single people, going out on a mission might seem a lot like that. For sure though, it’s not always ALL the time! :D

      Anya’s last blog post..empathy to the next level.

  4. Anya, how about workplace? hehehee… although it may be dangerous especially if the dating doesn’t work out well, but is it worth a try?

    jamie’s last blog post..two sides of a door

    • @jamie,

      sound good idea…hunting in office is good but have to be careful… have experience in that? :)

    • @jamie,

      Hey! Haha! I didn’t think about that one. That’s probably a good place to start as well, as long as lines of professionalism are kept clear.
      On that note, classmates should be looked out for as well!


      Anya’s last blog post..eMpTy

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