In my previous post on winning over the mother-in-law, a single friend of mine asked:
Why does successful, 20-something woman (my age group) see single life as a time to hunt down a ring instead of phase of fun and self-discovery?
Why can’t we relish our freedom and catch up with old friends instead of obliging the need to please his/her parents?
Why can’t we make the most of our independence and just be happy?
And, it got me seriously thinking… it is because we’re lacking in single self-esteem. So, if you’re tired of running the race for a ring, it’s time to get off the want-a-wedding treadmill and into a fabulous new life!
If you thought ordering delivery for a hot date with Jude Law DVD on Friday night was depressing, spare a thought for our medieval single sisters. If they don’t find him and tie the knot soon enough, they would be labeled a witch and burnt at the stake or drowned, which kinda puts things into perspective. The single truth is, there is indeed never been a better time to be young, free and unattached.
In the past year, independent women made up 15% of all home buyers and received over half of all uni degrees. Go back just 20 years and women couldn’t even get a loan on their own, let alone earn the same wage as men.
Dr Haya Bar-Noy, a sexologist, said that this in reality is a personal pressure, not a social one. No one looks twice at singles these days. It comes down to how you feel inside, which is why throwing all your energy into the husband hunt, instead of looking after yourself, leads to Unhappyville.
The good news? There is no need to ship your couple dreams off to Mars just yet. You don’t have to ban boyfriends to boost your single self-esteem, just be more picky about who you date. Why? Because you can!
So how do you get to Happy-Singleville?
- Work out what’s dragging your single vibe down and address it. Whether it’s family pressure to get married, a past relationship felt unresolved, or smug coupled-up friends, just tell them their behavior is not appreciated. You need to be open and honest with people because, nine times out of 10, they don’t realize they’re hurting your feelings.
- Inject some spark into your career, health and education. Any guy will tell you confidence is sexy, so work on yourself and you’ll attract more positive attention. It’s only when you are happy alone that you can be truly happy with another person.
- Spoil yourself – regularly. It’s a lot harder to feel bad when you’re indulging yourself. Often we think about others so much that we forget to spend money on ourselves, pamper our bodies, accept a compliment, or pat ourselves on the back. And, if we do, we feel guilty about it. Don’t!
- Try something new, it’ll also set you on the fast-track to happiness. Whoever said that variety is the spice of life was a dead-set genius, because change is guaranteed to slingshot your single self-esteem into the stratosphere.
Here are some great ideas for instant single self-esteem booster that you can enjoy!
- Make a booster kit. Fill it with mags, movies, beauty products and chocolates so when you feel lonely, you can whip it out and jump back on cloud nine.
- Take a soul holiday. Whether it’s by yourself to a health retreat or with a friend to an isolated spot, experience travel without temptation.
- Sick of your colleague flashing her rock in your face? Get a single ring. Everyone deserves a diamond, so splash out or drop hints on your birthday.
- Make some guy friends and get a dose of male company without the complications.
- Take on three big challenges this year. Striving for a goal and achieving it makes you feel complete and proud.
- Get creative (and social) and start a social-networking profile, blog on the Net. Ten new messages when you get home from work is an instant pick-me-up.
- Do one good deed a day. Donate to charity, help an old lady onto the bus, or give blood. You’ll feel good 24/7 and what goes around will come around. Just watch!
- Get a pet, decorate, exercise, move house, or volunteer. There are a million way to rock your single world – so make it happen.
Single or not, life can still be interesting and exciting… and most importantly worth living.
I believe there are many out there who are enjoying every single bit of their lives. And we’d love to hear from you and let your experience inspire and encourage our readers!
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- Reflections of Love