Ø These happen when partners feel that they can never make it on their own and it’s based on: “Without you I am nothing, with you I am something”
Ø May involve physical as well as emotional such as the finding shelter, eating, working and paying bills
Ø Based more on “what I need” than on “what you can offer me”
Ø A symbiotic union and a desperate clinging one
Ø Example of relationship: Cases where one partner physically abuses the other
Ø Desperation of contact and fear of losing
Ø Partners tend to have a very fuzzy sense of their personal boundaries
Ø Little tolerance for independence and aloneness
Ø Strong feelings of insecurity
Ø When they leave one relationship for another, they tend to make sure that there is someone else to jump to before letting go the person they have been with, or make a quick impulsive choice of a new partner.
Ø Ending of such relationships is a sign of growth by one partner or both
Ø Type of ending: hostile way that is at least emotionally destructive and at most physically violent
Ø A person may seek another’s validation of his or her physical attractiveness, intellect, social status, sexuality, wealth or some other attributes
Ø Many teenagers and young adults seek for physical or sexual validation in their relationship. Physical appearance, cool car, and a package of romantic images tend to attract young people who seek for this form of validation
Ø However, these relationships are always a little insecure because there will be doubts on the sincerity of the partner in them
Ø Each partner can be looking for different kind of validation i.e. A senior businessman who takes up with an attractive young college student may want physical and sexual validation while the student wants money validation
Ø As the relationship continues, one person may continue to require validation while the other wants something deeper i.e. a woman who marries money and realized that she still feels anxious and threatened even though she is rich, and that the money doesn’t do what she thought it would.
Ø Another example: An older man who needs physical validation initially marries a beautiful young lady may not have a promising future if that’s all she has. But if she is intelligent as well, the relationship may develop when she begin to play an important role in his business, or develop her own abilities which makes her a useful partner.
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Dominant Patterns Part 3
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Collateral Patterns Part 2
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Collateral Patterns Part 1
- Effective Ways Of Maintaining Relationship
- In Depth Explanation About Love Characteristics
- Are You Ready For A New Relationship?
- Have You Ever…
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Introduction
- 6 Ways to Keep Up with the World
- Prioritizing People