Ø Often begins when partners are just out of high school or college
Ø Seem to be the “perfect pair”
Ø Marriage involves living out their expectations for roles they learned they were supposed to play
Ø When career takes place, they will be the career-oriented couple even if they have a child too
Ø Heavy involvement with the family origin such as calling parents at least once a day
Ø Big holidays are stressful and became days of obligation rather than holidays
Ø Endless arguments about everything on how to maintain the illusion of perfection to family and friends as well as how to handle their own personal feelings and matters
Ø Difficulty to talking to each other in intimate ways might happen as a result of the power struggles
Ø Everyone can end up “invisible”. The wife may be invisible to the husband, with his focus on career and kids; the husband may be invisible to the wife, with her focus on the children and her community interests; the children are invisible because their primary role is to serve as projections of their parents’ need and expectations, and anything that doesn’t fit those expectations is squelched
Ø A step towards breaking out of an expected role is often viewed as a major threat and a power struggle ensues
Ø Partners tend to get stuck in old patterns; they don’t find a way to discuss where to go on holidays or vacations
Ø May divorce in their forties after over 20 years of marriage, often because the kids are independent by then.
Ø Ending in these relationships are heart-wrenchingly painful and destructive
Ø However when the partners start letting go of their tight hold on their scripts and expectations, couples start to listen, disclose their deeper feelings, to negotiate, and to compromise thus providing room for each other to develop and begin to value individual identities
Ø Partners learn to pursue their common interests and pleasures such as going out together tonight and taking kids out to recreational park tomorrow
- Top 3 Questions Before Marriage – Finale
- Top 12 Crucially Important Facts About Love – Part 2
- Are You Ready For A New Relationship?
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Collateral Patterns Part 2
- Prioritizing People
- Beyond The Religious Borders: How Love Can Transcend Faith And Beliefs
- An Affair To Remember…Or Is It?
- The Perfect Relationship: Fact or Fiction?
- How Can You Mend A Broken Heart
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Introduction