A love relationship is often associated as a bond between a man and a woman. As some may call their relationship as beautiful as a bed of roses, some might think otherwise as roses too, have thorns. As human beings, we cannot run away from problems that will rise between two persons when they decide to develop a relationship as that will mean sharing and committing to each other as they become one through their mutual feelings. The key here is understanding and communication.
We all must understand that in a relationship, although it means being together as one, we are in fact two different individuals. We must never, ignore that fact and try to associate each other as one altogether. For example, a man and a woman may be deeply in love with each other, but they still have different interests, behaviors, attitudes, and views towards various subjects. Clashes in decisions and differences in opinions are bound to happen.
Therefore, either party should never expect a relationship to be smooth and sound all the time. Arguments and differences are what that will make us get to know each other better, thus instead of getting all angry and tensed about the situation, take it as an opportunity to get to know your partner better. It does not take a month or a year to learn about a person, it is a lifelong process.
Individual interests and hobbies are vital in a relationship, as it gives us the sense of individualism and the sense of belonging to something, where we do not always have to share the same thing. If you think that doing every single thing under the sun together will make your relationship stronger, think again. Will you really want to spend every single second and minute of your life with only one person?
At the beginning of the relationship where the love is blossoming, yes, you are sure to feel that way. But, who you will become at the end of the day? You will be known as X’s girlfriend, or Y’s husband. Now that’s not what we want. There is a difference between love and obsession. Love is a sweet thing, but obsession in a relationship is just plain scary.
Thus, it is vital to have things in our daily lives that can only be done by ourselves for that sense of accomplishment. Be it gardening or yoga for the women, and golf or football for the men, it should be a “my time” and “I don’t have to share this with anyone as this is for myself only”. In a way, it is a time where you can spend pampering yourself and give your confidence and self esteem a boost, that way, it will not only help you as a person, but will also be a positive thing for your relationship.
Not forgetting, are the friends. Being in a relationship does not mean we must share all our friends. It is good to have our own group of friends, whom we can count on when anything happens. If you only have friends who are also the friends of your partner, chances are things will not be good when a problem arises between the two of you as the friends the both of you share will now have to choose sides. It is okay to have friends together, but make sure you have a group of friends aside that do not hang out with your partner. This way, it will not look like you don’t have friends of your own.
Moving on, is communication. Very often, most women have difficulties in expressing what they truly mean. They end up saying the complete opposite of what they intend to say. For instance, when a man asks a woman if she is alright when she is not, chances are she would answer “I’m fine”. Most men dread the word “fine” as it usually means things are not fine. Men are straight forward creatures, they do not crack their head wondering and worrying if it is otherwise when they are given an answer.
For instance, when a woman says that she doesn’t want to buy the pair of shoes because they’re too expensive, she may be secretly expecting him to get them for her as a surprise gift. The man will not be able to get the hidden idea behind her words as he takes words as they are presented, men do not take a U-turn and try to fathom if there are any other ideas behind it.
However, women will worry even if there is actually nothing to be worried about as they think that men are like them, they do not express things out in the open and expect their words to be figured out like a code. For example, when a woman asks a man how was his day and he replies “It was okay”, the possibility is that his day was dull and ordinary, nothing to be talked about. She would assume that he is angry about his day as something bad happened, or he doesn’t want to talk about it to her.
It is just the nature of a woman, being the caring and compassionate one. A woman will try to look at different angles and perspectives if she senses there is something amiss. As for men, they usually look things from the outer view; very few will try to look through words and actions to figure out what is actually going on.
In a nutshell, it is communication that usually tears down a relationship. Besides understanding that although a relationship combines two persons but they do not have to adapt into each other’s lives completely, both parties should also learn how to communicate well.
For men, you should try paying more attention to her feelings and slowly, you will be able to learn how her mind works. For women, try expressing your true feelings and do not expect him to understand if it was not clearly stated to him how you want it to be.
I find this topic is pretty interesting. Have any personal thoughts in mind? Do share with us your stories of success relationship and looking forward to hear from you guys/girls :)
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