Leading To Successful Relationship

A love relationship is often associated as a bond between a man and a woman. As some may call their relationship as beautiful as a bed of roses, some might think otherwise as roses too, have thorns. As human beings, we cannot run away from problems that will rise between two persons when they decide to develop a relationship as that will mean sharing and committing to each other as they become one through their mutual feelings. The key here is understanding and communication.

Understanding

We all must understand that in a relationship, although it means being together as one, we are in fact two different individuals. We must never, ignore that fact and try to associate each other as one altogether. For example, a man and a woman may be deeply in love with each other, but they still have different interests, behaviors, attitudes, and views towards various subjects. Clashes in decisions and differences in opinions are bound to happen.

Therefore, either party should never expect a relationship to be smooth and sound all the time. Arguments and differences are what that will make us get to know each other better, thus instead of getting all angry and tensed about the situation, take it as an opportunity to get to know your partner better. It does not take a month or a year to learn about a person, it is a lifelong process.

Individual interests and hobbies are vital in a relationship, as it gives us the sense of individualism and the sense of belonging to something, where we do not always have to share the same thing. If you think that doing every single thing under the sun together will make your relationship stronger, think again. Will you really want to spend every single second and minute of your life with only one person?

At the beginning of the relationship where the love is blossoming, yes, you are sure to feel that way. But, who you will become at the end of the day? You will be known as X’s girlfriend, or Y’s husband. Now that’s not what we want. There is a difference between love and obsession. Love is a sweet thing, but obsession in a relationship is just plain scary.

Thus, it is vital to have things in our daily lives that can only be done by ourselves for that sense of accomplishment. Be it gardening or yoga for the women, and golf or football for the men, it should be a “my time” and “I don’t have to share this with anyone as this is for myself only”. In a way, it is a time where you can spend pampering yourself and give your confidence and self esteem a boost, that way, it will not only help you as a person, but will also be a positive thing for your relationship.

Not forgetting, are the friends. Being in a relationship does not mean we must share all our friends. It is good to have our own group of friends, whom we can count on when anything happens. If you only have friends who are also the friends of your partner, chances are things will not be good when a problem arises between the two of you as the friends the both of you share will now have to choose sides. It is okay to have friends together, but make sure you have a group of friends aside that do not hang out with your partner. This way, it will not look like you don’t have friends of your own.

Communication

Moving on, is communication. Very often, most women have difficulties in expressing what they truly mean. They end up saying the complete opposite of what they intend to say. For instance, when a man asks a woman if she is alright when she is not, chances are she would answer “I’m fine”. Most men dread the word “fine” as it usually means things are not fine. Men are straight forward creatures, they do not crack their head wondering and worrying if it is otherwise when they are given an answer.

For instance, when a woman says that she doesn’t want to buy the pair of shoes because they’re too expensive, she may be secretly expecting him to get them for her as a surprise gift. The man will not be able to get the hidden idea behind her words as he takes words as they are presented, men do not take a U-turn and try to fathom if there are any other ideas behind it.

However, women will worry even if there is actually nothing to be worried about as they think that men are like them, they do not express things out in the open and expect their words to be figured out like a code. For example, when a woman asks a man how was his day and he replies “It was okay”, the possibility is that his day was dull and ordinary, nothing to be talked about. She would assume that he is angry about his day as something bad happened, or he doesn’t want to talk about it to her.

It is just the nature of a woman, being the caring and compassionate one. A woman will try to look at different angles and perspectives if she senses there is something amiss. As for men, they usually look things from the outer view; very few will try to look through words and actions to figure out what is actually going on.

In a nutshell, it is communication that usually tears down a relationship. Besides understanding that although a relationship combines two persons but they do not have to adapt into each other’s lives completely, both parties should also learn how to communicate well.

For men, you should try paying more attention to her feelings and slowly, you will be able to learn how her mind works. For women, try expressing your true feelings and do not expect him to understand if it was not clearly stated to him how you want it to be.

I find this topic is pretty interesting. Have any personal thoughts in mind? Do share with us your stories of success relationship and looking forward to hear from you guys/girls :)

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Comments

  1. its tough to sustain a relationship but you can always have ways to handle it

    computer problems’s last blog post..Google Page Rank (PR) Update

  2. VoiceofReason says:

    I read your article and found it to be an interesting point of view. Granted that your view seems to stem from a relationship with men who are idiots.

    “Men are straight forward creatures, they do not crack their head wondering and worrying if it is otherwise when they are given an answer.”

    If you are dating men of such mind frame, I suggest not looking to the men as the source of the problem, but yourself. There are great guys out there, that do care a great deal of how their partner feels and what “new ideas” they have to day. Of how their day went, and if there is anything, great or small, they can do in order to bring even the slightest smile to their loved ones face.

    Simply said if the men you are commenting on are men who don’t “crack their head”, I suggest stop going to bars and meeting those type of men, for those who come to this site for advice, I feel it pointless for them to read such articles when they are based on a stereotypical perspective of men and not the possible, renaissance men of 2009.

  3. hye voice of reason,i think your missing the point.no offence but i thinks what cupidblogger based his articles on common man.I do believe theres a lot of great guys out there,but dont forget,most men also need a lot to learn when it comes to relationship issues.

    Im not sayin anybody is stupid or what here,Im just sayin,not everyone is the same.And not every guys do the same mistakes.So,its up to each person to realize that.

    tipsgoda’s last blog post..Sex 101

  4. @ Computalks,

    It is tough but it solely depends on you yourself. :)

    @ Voiceofreason,

    I believe tipsgoda has given a great input about this post. I am not being biased or hitting hard at men. The reason i setup this blog is to share different perspective about love and relationship. Don’t get offended about the statement about man. It is nothing personal though. :)

    @ Tipsgoda,

    Thanks for giving out a good point here. :)

  5. i think what the article is about is the general idea of how men and women are different from each other, they do not crack their heads when it comes to things and they are straight forward does not mean they are stupid. it simply means that they do not like complications and often prefer things that are simple and not complex, unlike women who are sometimes complicated, thus explaining why there are many things a woman say or do that can’t be explained by men. i think u got a little defensive here, mr voice of reason. try looking in a broader view, out of the box, i’m sure the article was not meant to be biased or criticize any gender.

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