Love or Lust?

Is this a familiar question? Yes, it is. It is nothing uncommon now. But what is this all about? It is not an easy question though. People tend to get confused because of new feelings, new environments, as well as social pressure at our college, universities or even at workplace. What attracts you to that special person? What makes you want a romantic relationship with this person but not others?

What do you see in this relationship? What do you want from it? All these questions are really important, and you should give it a deep thought. Some couples ended their relationship in a sad and tragic way when they misunderstand the concept of love and lust, thus felt being taken for granted. I will explain briefly on the concept of love and lust here.

One of the most misunderstood quasi-love feelings is LUST. Lust is an extreme powerful and intense feeling of sexual desire for someone. It is mainly sexual in nature and we often lust after people whom we do not know well and yet we feel comfortable fantasizing about. We want their companion and we want to get close to them intimately, rather than genuine caring.

People tend to confuse lust for love as they thought lust is a part of love; people make love when they are in love, thus leading them a confused thought of lust or love. Lust is about physical attraction and acting only on physical attraction and desire.

What about love then? If love is without sexual attraction, what is love all about? Well, love is a concept of much more than physical desire and it is definitely not lust! Love is also about caring, commitment, trust, emotional compatibility and it is a magical feeling!

Love is not about conflicts, jealousy, doubts but love is an undeniable positive feeling. It is all about giving and surrendering your heart totally to your loved one, knowing that he/she is the one for you, that he/she will never break your heart and will treat you better than you will.

Love is always a positive feeling unlike lust, when guilt and insecurity happen.

I do hope that the explanation is clear enough for you to differentiate love and lust. Do the right thing! And guys do share your thoughts or personal experience using the comment form below. Thanks :)

Enjoy the music video by George Michael – Careless Whisper.

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  1. is so true.
    Nowadays,people tend to mistake Lust as Love.
    a simple I Love You could be meaningless
    Saying I love You just to get the opp sex into bed with you.
    Is in everyone at the moment

  2. christy.yong says:

    Thanks, Eklern :) Very nice of you to drop by here. True. Love and Lust. Gotta differentiate it well. Define it before getting involve in any relationships :)

  3. Love and Lust are human emotions that is undeniable. Lust draws from our weaknesses of the flesh. Love is the total opposite that goes beyond flesh and bone but penetrates straight to the heart and soul.
    In any case, Love goes beyonds all boundaries that divide. Lust will always be a moment in time that will disappear. Mankind is still trying to decide which is better

  4. I would go for love of course. Lust in relationship tends to be destructive n can leads to hatred in the end? RIGHT?

  5. christy.yong says:

    Thanks, PatBrian! How are you doing lately? Everything going on well? Thanks for dropping by. True that love and lust are emotions that can be quite confusing to some out there. I like your phrase “Love is the total opposite that goes beyond flesh and bone but penetrates straight to the heart and soul”. Thanks, PatBrian :)

  6. christy.yong says:

    That’s really true that if people tend to take things for granted, it will eventually lead to destruction- mentally and physically :(

    Thanks, Nizam :)

  7. @eklem

    You are right and like what Christy said. Just have to differentiate it well and don’t mix it together…


    I like the way you describe seems that you are lots of experience in relationship. Don’t you?


    Well for me, i will also go for love as lust will lead to destruction and emotion breakdown if any parties finds out…and the trust and feeling will just depleting from there..

  8. Guys = Lust
    Girls = Love

    Enough said :)

  9. it is an interesting topic, because this owes happen in the real life. People often get confused over lust and love. agree with Kuen that guys tend to think of lust at the beginning of a relationship.. but lust can eventually evolve to become love in the future if the guys find out you are the right gals..

  10. Kuen / cy

    Thanks for dropping by. Well there is no right and wrong in regards to love or lust by guys or girls. Basically, any gender will think of love or lust is subject to what is level of understanding on their relationship itself. :)

  11. I am looking for answers, I suppose. That’s why I came to this page. Basically, all I can do is communicate the problem: This girl (woman/lady/whatever) that I work with is driving me a little insane. I am married and so is she. Clear lines of delineation, no confusion there. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know that it would be wrong for me to approach her, or to talk to her, let alone touch her in any way. So I know the rules and I DO follow them absolutely-but: it still does not stop me (whenever I see her in my peripheral vision, even) feeling like I’m on that first magical date with that first one (the one that you really want and then you finally get a chance with her) or something. I truly believe that I am a good man at heart. Yet it shakes me to my foundation every single day, every time that I see her (about 3-4 days per week). I feel like I need some practical things to do, like exercises, or something, hell, I don’t know. I have already tried not looking at her, playing role reversal in my head, things of this nature to really no helpful effect. I have also told my wife about this entire situation- leaving NOTHING out, including the endgame of my desires (ultimately to have sex with this girl in some fantasy world). I can’t make this stop and I swear I HAVE tried. I’m giving it all I’ve got. But now I thought I’d see what some impartial strangers have to say (if anything) before I spend a lot of money on psychiatric help. Thank you.

    • Hi L. Chaney,
      I hear you, you don’t need psychiatric help! we are human and this is very normal to happen in a work place because you see her often enough!
      Let me tell you this, I used to work in a big company with lots of people and I saw this guy once and I liked him instantley. I was married at the time and very young 22, anyways this guy ended up to be my manager and i had to work with him on a daily basis. I liked him even more, this feeling became so intense that it would drive me crazy. He didn’t know anything about it nor did my husband. I kept it to my self and prayed that God will find a way to be away from him. soon after that they called me to the office saying they will transfer me to a different department. I was so releived but never stopped thinking about him I would see him from time to time!
      now 8 years has passed, I left the company and he left as well, I still think about him from time to time after 8 years and i tried to connect with him and finally I did, but it was nothing like what I imagined!

      I guess what I am trying to say is, you should talk to her and even have coffee with her, you might find that you dont like her at all, it will be overwhelming at first but it will get easier and you might find that she is better as a friend than having to fantacize about her!
      Talk to her, what are you gonna lose… nothing
      I hope this helps a little

  12. Love and lust are the same thing……..Love holds the heart and soul while lust hold the body….It never leaves strengthen the emotional/spiritual tie while lust strengthens the physical/material tie….

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