In the ancient history of dove-mailing, distance did make the heart grow fonder between lovers. Today, it should be so much easier to keep and tender a long distance relationship especially with God-given phones, emails, instant messaging programme, video conferencing and more upcoming ITC innovations. Right?
In this contemporary materialistic world, like Madonna sang it, material girl (and boy) just wants to have fun. The knot we tie today is so loose that everything may just crumble at a pull.
It is just surprising that with the avant-garde communication developments, why people find it even harder to stay in long distance relationships? Is long distance relationship a thing of the past or we just find it hard to keep our hearts from wandering?
Among my circle of friends, I’ve only heard of failed long distance relationships. Honestly, when my then boyfriend left for the UK for his Degree, the relationship didn’t last through 6 months.
A few years later, Sherene, a college mate, anticipated the reunion with her beau while waiting for her transfer papers. When she reached Australia a year later, it was the reunion break.
I met this sweet intern girl who loves her boyfriend so much that she is willing to give long distance relationship a shot. When the boyfriend came back for Christmas holiday last year, it was yet another homerun for a break up.
Many will be thrilled and most would try anything to keep the relationship going, even though separated by continents and regions and oceans. And seriously, how many of these relationships lasted to ring the merry bells? Some did end with “… and they live happily ever after”, but the question is why most don’t, anymore?
Is it because… people changed?
In my imaginary screenplay, people used to tie the knot even before marriage. They believed in true love, knotted the string to their heart and kept it in a secret (or sacred) place. But today, many would say… “It’s the twentieth century, my dear. Break ups and divorces are now as easier as hooking up and getting married.”
Is it because of… selfishness?
When the lover is three oceans away, the feeling of obligation and the need for companionship became an excuse to justify our need to meet new people and other people. A girl-friend told me that “…he might well be enjoying himself with some blonde hotties, so why should I deprive myself from love?”
Is it because of… insecurity?
Distance may make the heart grow fonder but it may also make the heart go wander. People who had gone through an unfaithful relationship will most probably fall in this category. I remembered a guy-friend told me last year, “… she did it once. What makes you think she wouldn’t do it again? It’s just hard for me to trust her when I’m not around.” Sometimes insecurity makes our mind run wild with imaginations that may not be true. And just because we thought of it so much so that it became true, eventually.
Is it because of… loneliness?
It becomes a sudden throbbing pain when two people shared every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month… together, had to be separated, even for just a little while. When distance calls, loneliness looms in to haunt both the distant lovers. “Who would I go to the movies with? Who would pick me up for lunch?”
Sometimes when we are too attached or too dependent on the other person, we are lost when they are gone. And we develop the urge to find someone to replace the loneliness in our heart and hand.
Long distance relationship may be a beautiful fairy tale, when both make an effort to nurture and keep the relationship fresh from afar. So, whether couples in long distance relationships are truly loving the distance or distancing the love… the only stronger than any other spells, to keep a relationship alive – beyond distance and separation, over mountains and under the seas, through good and bad – is the Love Potion.
Long distance relationship? Some people say most of them failed. What is your stand on long distance relationship and your personal thoughts about this? Do feel free to comment and I am looking forward to hear from all of you. 
PS: Picture Courtesy of IStockPhoto
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Me and boyfriend have been together a year now. He’s in Germany, and I am in the UK. Yes, it gets damn tough, yes it’s very very hard, but a Long distance relationship has a certain difference to a close distance relationship for me. For starters, it’s not about sex, if it was I wouldn’t be going out with a guy who was 750km away from me. You have a strong sense of trust with the other person, you have to trust them because if you don’t, long distance suspicion will kill the relationship. I love him, he loves me, and for us although a long distance relationship isn’t convenient, it holds a pure quality, a trustworthy and beautiful quality that not many modern day couples have. You love that person because of their personality and mind — and I really do mean that — not for their sexiness and allure, or their material goods.
well, me and my fiance have beeen dating for almost a year now but the major problem is that he is from california and i am from illinois! we both are taking things slow until i am really with him forever! if people say long distance relationsship cant last well there wrong! it can u just have to trust your mate and be postive never negative! they are just mad that they had a long distance relationship and it didnt work so they think that it wont work for other people!!!!!!!!!!!! love:Victoria Paudel
Yea, everything my wife say is true. I believe in every word she says and I am always there for her no matter what the circumstances are. It has been that way and it will always be like that. I am glad I found her in my life and I thank god for bringing her to my life. The most I can say is I am the happiest man alive when I am with her. And this is a long distance relationship.
Aww can you make a picture like that with tampico, mexico and netherlands?
I would love you for that
I confirm that it’s really hard for two lovers who used to be together every second for a very long time and have to be apart afterwards. Loneliness arises fast if apart. It is feasable to stay apart when you share your daily life and every moment as if you were together (email, instant messenger, etc) and your sweetie does the same way. But if some problems arise (fight about sth, disagreement, jalousie, …) you need to get along fast or it would be over fast. Try to forgive, to be soft with your sweetie if you truly love her/him. Try to understand. Discuss everything. There are always solutions to problems. Try to get along as fast as you can and to motivate each other and remind each other of the time you spend together happily. Don’t give up. Fight, if you truly want to spend your whole life with your sweetie. Words are here very important. Don’t rush with words that you will regret afterwards. Words are everything in this position.
- Peace and Love for All -
I got inspiration from learning about the long distance relationship between a close friend and his girlfriend. The two where seperated by distance (Netherlands – Denmark) but, as they told me, each morning one of them would wake up the other by calling on the phone and sing a little song. Cute!
And I can say it paid off: they now live together. So there is always hope!
I was inspired to design Wakelicious Alarm Clock, an iPhone app for people in a LDR with which you can surprise your loved one, where ever they may be, with your handpicked YouTube video. With Wakelicious sharing music is like showing your feelings or thoughts without the need of actually saying/writing it.
I hope everyone in a long distance relationship can keep the love going, and use Wakelicious to wake up with a song from their loved ones (http://www.wakelicious.com).
what makes long distance relationships so hard this day and age is because really, people are so used to being in constant communication with each other (because the world is in constant communication via the media on tv, smart phones, internet, wi fi, cell phones, text messages, webcam, etc), that it really makes it SO.MUCH.HARDER to accept the inability to communicate for periods of time. Back in the day, it was accepted that it was hard to communicate over long distances, and people could wait so much more easily because they already were used to waiting for everything – you barely traveled outside a certain radius of your home town. Now people’s perception of their space is much more expanded, because of cars and planes and the internet, that the urgency to be with the person that is farther away puts more stress on it than it would have been 50 or 100 years ago.
also, with the world putting so much emphasis on our “futures” (education, jobs), we are constantly looking so far into the future about every other aspect in our lives that it adds on an additional stress… will we still be together next year? When will we actually live in the same state/country? What if I go to grad school? will he/she wait that long for me? what if they don’t want to move here/i don’t want to move there/they don’t want to wait that long? I think that is another stress factor in distance relationships, because it isn’t something a “normal” relationship has to think about as much, and it isn’t something that people had to think about as much “back in the day”, because the world wasn’t as sped up as it is now.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 4 years (chile and the states), and sometimes it is the most unbearable thing in the world. The most stressful thing? Just the inability to communicate… not being able to pick up the phone or call and know how he is doing, because that is what we are so used to doing with everything. Sometimes I think about it and get mad at myself for even getting stressed about it, but the fact is, it’s what we are used to. That’s why, I think, long distance relationships are so much harder. It makes people want to give up so much more easily because they feel like they are losing and failing if they go a few days or a week without “decent” communication.
Of course, trust is another issue, but if someone goes into a long distance relationship without much trust, it wasn’t much of a relationship to begin with.
And if anyone thinks some of the stuff above (“he could be hanging out with other girls, why shouldn’t I?”) It is basically still a trust issue.
My long distance road has been hard and have had loads of ruts and bumps along the way, but being able to openly communicate all our feelings and frustrations about everything in our lives and especially the frustrations about the distance is what makes us able to still be together. You just have to remember to really understand sometimes why you actually feel angry, because sometimes when you argue you think it is them, but it really is the inability to communicate that you are angry with, or your insecurity of their attachment to you.
anyway, that’s what I think.
Hi, my name is Luca. I’m having a great long distance relationship… As long as the distance between Italy and Los Angeles is
It started 2 years ago and it is still going on… Moving to LA this Christams! Ciao ciao!
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