Marriage On Fire

This is a tribute post to “Course Of Love”, in which I wrote on the connection and process of flirting, dating and being in a relationship.

A friend asked me on MSN, “But what about the difference?”

My reply was, “I personally feel there’s no difference because while dating, we still need some flirting to spice things up… same goes to when we are in a relationship – flirting keeps lover excited.”

Then he hinted, “Oh, flirting can also take place after marriage right? *wink*”

And he is spot on!

The title Marriage On Fire carries a double meaning – flirting in marriage can light up more passionate fire between the couple, otherwise, flirting from a third person causes the marriage to be on trouble fire.  So, it’s either you keep your spouse’s heart or someone else will…

In One Tree Hill Season 5, Episode 13 (Echoes, Patience, Silence and Grace), Haley and Nathan were going through a marriage therapy after the hot nanny to their son flirt with Nathan and tried to get into the shower with him.  Which obviously Haley caught her red-handed.  Enjoy the short clip on their therapy session… :)

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Being in a marriage is more than just fulfilling our responsibilities as a spouse or parent.  It’s also about our responsibility to love, nurture and keep our marriage alive.

A girl friend whom I recently introduced to Cupid Blogger Dot Com sent me an instant message two days ago.  She asked me, “Well, say you were in my position… married for 9 years with 3 kids, and no romance from hubby.  What would you do?”

So I replied, “Create romance…”

Flirting with romance can rekindle and spark the fading fire.  It brings husband and wife closer together and revives each other’s feelings for one another.  Even if you (husband or wife) are juggling in between house chores, your career, taking care of the children, it leaves you no room to be complacent or to take your married-relationship for granted.

In this world, things that are not tendered and cared for will rot and die…  That’s why it is important to love, nurture and keep your relationships – be it dating or married relationships.  All relationships deserve equal attention and lots and lots and lots of tender loving care.

Let me share with you some of my little secrets in keeping my marriage smooth sailing…

  1. Embrace the good kiss routine (but don’t make it a routine, you must enjoy it truly from your heart) – start with Good Morning Kiss and Good Night Kiss, then you can have Good Day Kiss, Good Dinner Kiss and so on.
  2. Slip in love-notes all around (be creative) – in lunch packs, on snack plates, pockets of their work clothes, under their pillow, on the phone, maybe even on instant message or email…
  3. Learn to cook (or bake) a new dish – I recently self-learnt to cook chicken curry and we had a fun Malaysian-style roti and chicken curry for dinner.
  4. Be passionate – hug them from behind, jump into shower uninvited…
  5. Everybody love surprises – make (or buy) gifts on regular days (not just on special occasions), take them to a nice or romantic unplanned dinner.
  6. Flirt (and you can be naughty with your spouse) – wink, smile, send electrifying waves with eye contact, sexy talk, compliment and make them feel good.
  7. Try something new and different together – pretend that both of you are back to the dating days, get dressed in different rooms and feel the butterflies in your tummy when you meet your date in the living room.
  8. Add some adventure – you can do new sports like hiking, cycling, canoeing, anything that you both have never tried before.
  9. Getaway times – go on a romantic holiday, just both of you – leave home, leave work and leave worries. Relax and enjoy each other’s company.
  10. Honesty (and generosity) is the best policy – be honest with each other and communicate how you would love to be loved and appreciated. While we extend our love and care to our other half, always remember to be generous in our unconditional love to them.

I hope these little personal tips will help you jazz up something passionate, sweet and beautiful especially with Valentine’s Day just round the corner.  Feel free to share more romantic experiences to renew and refresh relationships for the New Year ahead.

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  1. I’m gonna SURPRISE my wife with her favourite Tffany & Co bracelet! thanks for the useful tips…

  2. Great great great… very nice tips from this article… I will tease,flirt and show my partner love and care everyday the fullest to keep our relationship fresh and romantic all the time… actually in every relationship.. just use these simple steps and the relationship will last forever.. take care :D

  3. First of all Jamie, this is so useful article for all couples! I think all women after reading this, should drag their husbands to the computer and tell them to read the article… At least 2 times :P If all men and women remembered even 3 of those useful tips, I think the divorce rate wold decrease finally, eh? Personally, I am a very passionate lover and will make sure my partner knows every single day how much of feeling I have for him. Little hugs and kisses, gentle touches and sweet words can help a lot :) Simple acts of love as preparing a candle lit dinner or preparing a hot bath with bubbles and candles all around can bring passion into any relationship… Even going to the cinema, watching a film together, holding hands and laughing can make them realize how close they are. A bit of creativity from both sides can keep the flame burning and the spark between them will surely keep their feeling grow :D
    So, all the guys out there… Go, and buy a flower not only on special occassions but a normal day for your partner! You’ll see it’s worth it and you won’t wait long to get something in return ;)

  4. you missed out surprises! ;)
    the relationship lacks variety. surprise your partner with something you’ve never done before, and catch him/her off guard.

    Jocelyn’s last blog post..a good sign

  5. Sparks fly :D

  6. For me, i love to surprise and be surprised! I always surprised my hubby! Remembered 4 years ago, I ordered roses with bears + choc and sent to his office but to him, he will only buy the things i wanted. For the past 4-5 years, my hubby was only a 1, 4, 6 person and many times I needed to “hint” him to give me surprise. Even whenever we went out for dates, he just let me made decision what to eat, what to do. I began to feel boring in our marriage after quarrels, arguments, talks about this issue.

    So, I paused to think. Why should I force him to change to a person that he is not? Does surprise more important than love? How to make him understand my feelings? I made a choice. I stopped nagging him. I even did not bother whether he remembers my birthday, anniversary or etc. I chose to adapt into his world and love him as who he is. Of course, I still do my part to surprise him all the times! :)

    Guess what? He is now a romantic guy who gives love-cards and surprises! He also changed to adapt my world. To maintain a fresh, happy and healthy marriage life, we need to give and take. The GREATEST is LOVE. Without love, everything we do will be fake and pointless. By the way, we just celebrated our 8th anniversary last Dec! Thank God for His blessing.

    One more thing to share, our daughter now is 6 years old and she is a 1, 2, 4, 5 person. She always surprised us with love notes, kisses, hugs and gifts! If a kid knew how to do this, how much more we as adult!!

    • Jamie Sr., it’s really a heartfelt sharing. Surprises are definitely not greater than LOVE. Love IS the greatest. And love does not force… when we love, it is automatic to shower him/her with affection. I hope these tips will help to ‘hint’ your husband to put in a little bit more effort to keep your marriage life interesting… *wink*

      jamie’s last blog post..two sides of a door

  7. great article jamie, not many couples can practice creating romance especially after a long time being in a relationship.

    • thank you for dropping, josie… you are right, many couples fall into the trap of comfort and complacency after a long time being in a relationship. they tend to take the other person for granted. so, hope these tips will help them spark their relationships once again *wink*

      jamie’s last blog post..two sides of a door

  8. great blog! i love to read it…keep up the good work!

    • Thank you for visiting, margit… your presence makes this blog even merrier. Do check our our latest blog post, and if you love this blog, subscribe to the RSS. Hope to see you around again soon.

      jamie’s last blog post..two sides of a door

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