This one goes out to you, L.
I’m never optimistic when it comes to the 14th of February. The last few have been awful, and enough indications that I should just celebrate my love any other day instead of jumping in on the Valentine’s bandwagon.
I’ve had my fair share of bad relationships, and they were enough to teach me that celebrating this love full-scale is not going to turn out to be worth anything in the long run.
My first love, we never celebrated Valentine’s Day – 5 years of a relationship, 4 of being friends, and 9 years down the line, but we’re still not convinced that everyone should be throwing around affection as unabashedly as this.
That’s the one, that’s it. The rest of them taught me to hate the thought of being with another person.
I spent Valentine’s Day last year with my EX (no, I had no feelings for him whatsoever – it was the product of circumstance!), practically all alone in Melbourne. Forget the flowers.
“I met up with an acquaintance I had known from back in KL to boost whatever possible chance I had of a social circle – thankfully, he delivered, and we wound up becoming very good friends. A year went by, and from someone who couldn’t even have been bothered to ask about his descent (Malaysian’s get that way around people who don’t look remotely Malay, Chinese, or Indian), I now know his favorite kind of polo tees, what sets him off into a bad mood, his biggest fears, and the comforts of the passenger seat of his car, among a whole lot more.
I spent so much time with him, and wound up head over heels. I wasn’t supposed to – social circumstances apparently weren’t ‘appropriate’ – and I wasn’t looking for love Australia, much less with someone I knew from Malaysia! He was a friend, and the closest one I had so far away from home, that it seemed like an awful idea I should have abandoned from the first minute. At the time, it felt like too much at risk, and I lived in complete and utter denial for months.
But he was charming, smart, sweet, sensitive, and (EHEM!) good-looking. He was the new age guy I never had the chance to date, and the more I was spending time with one, the more convinced I was of the fact that this breed of men is ridiculously rare and I at least owe it to myself to try and be happy with someone again. Forget the repercussions of my deciding to date him – if I’d deal with it for him, he must be pretty worth it.
I’m still pretty happy.”
Now I don’t know if you’ll catch this, but my point is that no relationship is perfect. Half the time, we’re complaining about the other person’s faults, and the things we have to deal with when we’re in one. We complain about how impossible it is to find the flawless, when the truth of the matter is that it’s just that – IMPOSSIBLE. We set these ridiculously high standards, and yet are never really willing to step out on a limb to get a better grasp.
I get into heated arguments and days of fights. I get aggravated, and annoyed, and I sometimes throw my arms up in the air and wondering why the hell I’m going through all of this. I’ve had deal with a lot of people who aren’t happy with my choice of boyfriend. It is far from made-for-movie screens perfect, but people aren’t perfect, and if you’re signing on for a relationship, you’ve got to be prepared to come to terms with that.
So don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling you to lower your standards or anything. I’m not telling you to deal with someone who is so obviously wrong that it couldn’t be blaring signs brighter than the sun.
I’m just saying that it’s a waste of time trying so hard to make it perfect when there’s no chance it ever will be. But when you go out of your way to deal with something, when you’re going through it all just because you want so much to be with someone, then they have to do much more to prove they’re already worth it.
I’m spending Valentine’s Day with friends in Melbourne, while he’s still in Malaysia. It’s just another uneventful date.
I’m pretty happy.
Do enjoy the music video – “My Funny Valentine” by Frank Sinatra
Do also checkout Cupid Blogger Valentine’s Day Blog Contest to win attractive prizes which ends on 28th Feb. Don’t missed it ya.
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