Ring Around The Roses…

You would think that by the time we reach 16, people would have learned to be a little more upfront about their feelings.

We learn about dealing with disappointments – a vital lesson if you’re planning on surviving adulthood – so what’s a little rejection from someone we’ve been pining over? It really isn’t that big a deal, being turned down.

It can only bruise the ego as much as we allow it to anyway, so might as well grab the bull by its horns and put ourselves out there if we’re lucky enough to find someone that actually piques the interest.

In this day and age, unless you’re aiming to rack up those numbers, it really is difficult to find someone you see yourself getting involved with.

It’s black and white – ridiculously easy if you’ve set yourself up to not have any expectations when you actually come around to admitting it OUT LOUD, preferably to the person you’re after. If up until this point, the cards are all still in your own hands, you have nothing to lose but the possibility of this person never knowing that you had feelings for them in the first place, and that’s probably a lot worse than them giving you the ‘just friends’ speech.

It’s not the end of the world – go grab your rainbow and tell that special someone they have a secret admirer. Chances are that if it isn’t random to the point of retarded, you’ve earned yourself a chance at taking things beyond how it goes in your imagination.

Courtesy of Dana Photography

Courtesy of Dana Photography

You learn that things don’t always go your way. So what’s baffling is why people still pull that old playground routine, expecting it to work. I’m not talking 6 year old’s experiencing their first crush. I’m talking full-fledged adults yanking on ponytails like kids in a courtyard.

That didn’t do anything further than getting you noticed as the annoying bully everyone wants to avoid, and as much as time changes, this tactic will still get you nowhere.

If you like someone, come to terms with it. Understand that there is a possibility that things won’t work out your way – that you might not be what somebody else is working for – and realize that you’ll be treading uncharted territory and there IS a possibility you might come out of it with a few scratches.

Granted, alive, but maybe a little worse for wear, and THAT’S NOT THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO A PERSON. There’s no point in denying it to the death because unless you invest a lot of time and effort into shaking it off, chances are it’ll eat you alive through the bulk of each day, and you’ll become ridiculously annoying to this particular person for the way you choose to deal with your feelings.

If you like someone, and said person isn’t in a relationship, isn’t a complete stranger, and doesn’t obviously detest you, go for it. I won’t go into details if he/she is a friend (stay tuned for a follow-up article), but what do you think you have to lose by telling someone you like them? Their luck, their loss, and I could go on about how essential confidence is when it comes to relationships, but for the sake of the length of this article, take my word for it and give it a go.

You might not wind up with the outcome you want, but hey, you’ve tried, and the sooner you know that there’s no hope, the better. Don’t beat around the bush and work your butt off trying for the kind of attention you could do without. Don’t get tactical and don’t get defensive – there’s nothing more aggravating than someone who’s so blatantly in denial when the whole world caught on a while back.

If you like someone and the feeling isn’t mutual, don’t feel sorry for yourself. However way you went about it, as long as it didn’t involve metaphorically driving someone’s face through mud and dipping their pigtails in ink, then that was about the best you could have done and it doesn’t make much sense toiling away for something that wasn’t meant to happen.

Pick yourself up, brush the dirt off, and just be glad that you had enough courage to come out and admit it. You’re not a child, and you don’t need someone to walk you through how difficult it can get when you have feelings for someone who just doesn’t see you in that light.

Be grateful that you got it out there, suppress your reactions to a typically bruised ego, and take that non-relationship down a different route and to a new level.

Bounce back, which on its own, is a pretty impressive maneuver and could rack you up a couple of points.

Otherwise, hey, you tried.

I hear a lot of people going on about how difficult it is, having crushes and not knowing how to move forward. Worst case scenarios are endless, and in the end, it never gets anywhere because the fear is paralyzing. The point of this whole article was to point out in the simplest way there is, some may disappoint.

It isn’t, however, as scary as anyone might think it is, and if you have enough confidence in yourself and are able to wrap your head around that and be readily convinced to get it out there, it really isn’t too bad.

Enough with the denial, the running around rose bushes, and the ridiculously child-like outlets for how you feel about another person – it might have been cute when we were three, but in your third decade, very much like yourself, it’s getting old. :D

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Comments

  1. I think that the first go at carrying out what you suggest would be the hardest of all. :-) It is an irrational fear that rejection would cause more damage than one could easily recover from.

    Then again, I have female friends who have expressed their dislike for guys who seem to move on ‘too quickly’ after being rebuffed… women are very difficult to please :D

    • Hi Ken, thanks for dropping by!

      Your female friends are right… it’s a bit of an insult when we see the guys who JUST hit on us moving on to other people. Makes it a tad bit obvious that they weren’t looking ‘deep’ enough. But there’s really no blaming the guys because they’ve just been rejected and need to pick up their self-esteem. It’s weird. Women are complicated creatures. :D

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