After reading the post The 8 Phases of Dating, I couldn’t get my mind off of the idea that relationships have to inevitably go through a rough patch before both halves can learn to appreciate one another – again.
I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a way to avoid the unnecessary drama, to do without these stages and just BE HAPPY, the way a relationship SHOULD make you feel (or should be).
Do we really have to put up with all the 8 stages, or can we just skip all the bullshit (pardon my language) and detours and get right down to ‘happily ever after’?
Getting comfortable with each other is ideal, but taking it a step too far, especially when you’re only just dating/going steady/anything before marriage vows, could mean the early demise of an otherwise perfectly healthy relationship. So in an attempt to keep the spark going but also in support of the concept of ‘being yourself’ around somebody else,
I’ve devised 5 quick and easy things to keep things going smooth, in accordance to the five senses -which can be easily remembered.
While some might say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder‘, others lean in favor towards ‘out of sight, out of mind‘. It may be difficult to physically be with someone around the clock, but enduring the hardships that come with tolerating another person is what makes a relationship stronger. Nobody said letting someone in your heart, in your life, and in your space was easy, but we aim to do so anyway, and consider it as practice for those years of marriage in the future.
You’ll eventually learn to reach a compromise with yourself – there are some things you just shouldn’t do in front of someone you’re romantically linked with, and your (whole lot of) time together will help set acceptably healthy boundaries. NO FARTING, for one. That’s a major mood-killer.
After spending significant amount of time around someone, we tend to take them for granted and are no longer as attentive as we once used to be. It’s vital to keep listening, to keep responding, and to keep that initial interest going, however tough it may be. Don’t let conversations simmer down to a boil – at least attempt to seem interested.
On that note, don’t let responses become a meek ‘oh, okay…‘, or a ‘sure, alright then‘, or anything as blatantly boring as that. Keep conversations going with opinions, advices, feedbacks, and things you know will keep the talk going for a while.
Unless, of course, you know it’s ‘quiet time’.
This is particularly ESSENTIAL. It ranges from everything between holding hands and having sex, but what IS important is that you don’t create a physical gap that goes on for too long between one another. This can get quite difficult because you’re obviously not going to be comfortable – initially – with someone around you all the time, but getting used to these acts are a lot easier in comparison to having to rebuild an attraction that no longer exists.
On top of that, forcing yourself to keep the habit going prevents things from getting redundant. Take, for example, having sex and how it becomes predictable after some time, if couples aren’t motivated to try new things. This works on the theory that you’ll WANT to keep creative.
If you’ve experienced the strength of smell, you’ll know that familiar scents can trigger memories almost instantaneously and if it reminds you of a particular person, it’ll be as if they were right there with you. With that in mind, keep t-shirts, perfumes, or anything that smells like your significant other closely around you. This is just so they’re never truly away from you, because let’s face it, there will be times when you can’t be around them and this just keeps you from having negative thoughts in their absence.
In relationships, it’s normal to sometimes get angry and grow feelings of resentment, but they’re less likely to evolve if you have reminders of positive memories around.
Remember the sensations you felt, back during that first kiss? While this might be difficult to do every time, treat (most) kisses like they were your first. Try not to rush through them, or treat them as if they were an obligation. At the risk of sounding ridiculously cliché, kisses are small celebrations of love, and the act shouldn’t be made a habit or something that comes along JUST BECAUSE you’re in a relationship.
Better yet, treat each kiss as if it were your last. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made plans for later that night, or if you know you’ll be seeing them again tomorrow – don’t take life (and love, too) for granted, and the minute you stop doing it, you’ll realize how fleeting it is and how you really should be treasuring your loved ones.
I hope everyone benefits from these tips. Good luck with your relationships, and I wish you all the best! Hopefully these will help with avoiding those troublesome phases.
Feel free to leave comments if you have any suggestions or feedback!
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