In the previous post, Anya shared on keeping up with the world… while being in a relationship. In fact, it’s all about understanding and being able to discern our priorities, as well as the “relationship management” skills with yourself and the lover, the family, the friends and the society. If you’re a little on the slack side at keeping in touch with family and friends (especially!), you could soon find yourself sitting at home alone on a Saturday night.
So, you and your bestie have been friends forever and that will always be the case. Or will it? Friendship is just like romance, it needs to be worked on to keep it fresh, alive and strong. If you often take your bestie for granted, drop off her radar when a new guy comes on the scene or sometimes leave her in the dark about whether you’re coming on Saturday nights, these are signs you’re not doing enough to nurture your relationship.
So, here’s how to make your friends know she is right up there on your list of priorities:
1. Shut up and listen
- Start conversations with your friends by asking her questions about her work and personal life – so you give clear message that you’re there to hear about her, and not just to spill all your latest gripes.
- If she is upset, keep the focus on how she feels rather than talking at length about the time something similar happened to you and how you felt.
- If she calls you in tears, give her your full attention – if you grab the cordless then proceed to surf the Net or do the washing up while she’s pouring out her heart, she will hear that you’re not fully concentrating and will naturally presume that you are not really interested nor concerned.
2. Keep in touch
- Seek out ways to maintain constant contact with close friends no matter how busy you are such as going to the gym, supermarket or beautician together; getting up an hour earlier so the two of you can grab a quick coffee before work or making on night every week your night to catch up.
- Call her on your mobile phone because “your song” is on the radio.
- Invite her over for a girlie slumber party where it will just be the two of you, plenty of popcorn and plenty of talk.
- Let her know that you are really looking forward to the two of you having special time together.
3. Be her support team
- Note down all the important events she’s got coming up – like that hot Friday night date, the job interview or the appointment with the doctor about her bad period pain. Then call to wish her luck or to find out how it went and if she needs to debrief.
- Offer to read through her CV or coach her in interview techniques when she’s applying for a job.
- Give her a hand doing her make-up or nails before a date.
- Tell her often how great you think she is and how lucky you are to have her as a friend – it will do wonders for her self esteem and make her feel secure and supported.
4. Make her your love life-coach
- Ring your bestie the day after a big date and say, “I wanted to call you first to tell you how it went.”
- Tell her how much you’re looking forward to introducing her to your new guy because you know he’ll think she’s fantastic.
- Organise for her and your new boyfriend to meet as soon as you can and tell her how important it is to you because you value her judgement and opinions so much.
With this make-over approaches and tips, you can be a more loyal, consistent and reliable friend (while being a great lover). After all, friendship is no just an insurance policy against loneliness, low self-esteem and boredom – it is about companionship, mutual support and acceptance.
Sure, friends can help you solve your problems by listening, emphatising or offering practical solutions, but helping out a friend also enhances your identity and self esteem. In turn, this support strengthens your bonds with friends who then go out of their way to show they care about you.
Feel free to share your experience with our readers, and let’s learn to love our friends (and our partners too!) *wink*
- Knowing Your Pattern of Relationship – Collateral Patterns Part 2
- Top 12 Crucially Important Facts About Love – Part 2
- Are You Ready For A New Relationship?
- 6 Ways to Keep Up with the World
- How to Deal With Long Distance Relationships
- Have You Ever…
- Making Love Out Of Nothing At All
- 10 Awesome Tips How To Spice Up Your Relationship
- 8 Gentle Ways To Break Up With A Guy
- Guy Acted Silly When He Is In Love